OH WELL

I was prepared to begin the steps for my exit from Gwangyang today. I had made up my mind to bring up the subject of it not working out because I couldn’t teach the way I wanted to, and that I couldn’t do it her way. I thought this would be a good starting point as I wouldn’t feel comfortable just saying, “forget it, I’m gone”.

I went into Kelly’s office and told her I wanted to talk for a few minutes. I first told her that I didn’t appreciate her telling me how to teach in front of the students and I thought it was rude, disrespectful, and undermines me in the classroom. She apologized and it sounded sincere. In a way I wish she would have said, “I’m the boss and that is that”. But she’s not the type to do that, and she always sounds receptive to what I say. So I brought up the topic of our conversation on Friday and her telling me to be stricter and not have fun and to stick to the book. Right away she said that wasn’t what she meant and she was just giving me suggestions. She said she started the school teaching in a relaxed manner but business wasn’t good because the parents didn’t want that. She said she does the strict thing to please the parents and she doesn’t agree with them. She said I can teach how I want. So, that sort of cut me off at the legs. How can I say it isn’t working out when she tells me I can do as I want in the classroom? I can’t.

I brought up the topic of her calling the kid’s parents from the note I left her. She said she called. I’m not sure that she did but I couldn’t call her a liar because I’m not sure. She said (again) that we needed to meet more often and discuss things. She apologized because her head has been elsewhere due to family problems. She told me her mother-in-law accused her 2 weeks ago of stealing her husband’s money. She’s been quite upset by it because her husband won’t stand up for her. I said “why doesn’t he tell his mother to stop it”, and she said, “because he’s stupid”. Hmmn, I think there’s a problem here. She said he’s like a baby when it comes to his mother and although he’ll tell Kelly that he supports her and thinks his mother is wrong, he won’t stand up to his mother. I think there are more problems floating around but I can’t say for sure, and I don’t even want to know. I just said that she should take care of her family problems first.

So, I can’t kick a dog when it’s down, and my exit strategy isn’t there anymore. As much as I would like to, I just can’t say, “I’m resigning effective in one month”. I find it a little ironic that she is the beneficiary of the “new” me who doesn’t want to hurt anyone when it’s not 100% necessary. I’m not suffering here, and it’s not an emergency, it’s just not an ideal situation. Of course, what is? If it got the point where I was suffering, I’d leave. I’m not suffering and my leaving would hurt her business so I can’t. I really don’t think anything will change at the school or with her so I’ll just have to keep riding this horse for now.

I hate to ask this, but how do you know if kids are stupid? I’m just really amazed at how many of them don’t know anything in English and can’t seem to pick any of it up. I know I’m useless in languages but I can learn to read and learn the sounds of the letters. This small ability seems out of the reach of a few kids. I find myself in class just saying, “I can’t believe this”. It’s so frustrating. I don’t know what to do about it. A few of these kids are quite nice so I can’t get angry, I just worry they might be slow. I can’t talk to them in Korean to get a better idea. Some classes I just endure.

I had a new class to teach tonight. I go into this class 1 day a week. It’s a grammar class with 4 boys who are 14. That’s 13 in North American years. The reason I have to go in there is (I think) just a promise that Kelly made to the parents that a “native speaker” would be one of their teachers. Their English was awful. They take English at regular school, they are students here, and they know next to nothing. Maybe they know grammar and the written word, but I don’t know. If they do, the vocabulary isn’t making it from their heads to their mouths. I asked them if they speak English in their English class in regular school and they said yes. It’s hard to believe when they had trouble fielding questions like, “how old are you”?

I love Tuesday’s. I’m only at the school for 4 hours and that includes a 1 hour break. Who knows how long this will last because I don’t. I’ve learned that things aren’t stable from day to day in the academy business.

My back is killing me and my body is in pain. I thought Yoga would make me healthier and not a broken down old man. I thought this was supposed to be good for me. If it’s supposed to be, it better start showing me soon. But then again, maybe I am sick. I feel light-headed at times and I sleep more than usual. I will have to keep an eye on myself. If this lasts into next week I’ll have to go to the doctor on medical business and take a translator with me which is not a prospect I relish.

While I was on my break my phone rang. It was my bank and after introducing himself on the phone, the man who called was calling about the credit card I requested. I was quite surprised because when I said “credit card” almost 2 weeks ago in the bank and they said “one week” I was sure they didn’t understand what I wanted. Apparently I was wrong. He told me in his halting English that I had to be a native Korean to get a credit card. I said fine. He then said I needed to come into the bank at my convenience to see about the credit card. Obviously I missed something in his translation of the situation. I told him I’d be in at 11:30AM tomorrow and he said that would be good. I want the credit card so I can get an inexpensive cell phone plan. You can’t have monthly billing for a cell phone without a credit card. I’m curious as to what’s up.

I think I’m going to watch “Lord of War” now. I hope it’s good. I’m currently downloading “Blade Runner” which I’ve never seen. It was leant to me back in Austin but I never got a chance to watch it. Everyone who’s seen it says it’s excellent. It’s hard to believe I missed it. I’m also downloading “North by Northwest”. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen it and it’s Cary Grant at his finest. Maybe I should see an acupuncturist for my back because I don’t think there are chiropractors here.