JESUS IS EVERYWHERE

Today was the big school birthday bash. Okay, it wasn’t so big. There were the dignitaries which included a policeman in some sort of military uniform, a representative of the school board from the province, one of the big shots of Paju Book City (a group of publishers in the city) and others I have no idea who they were.

There were women dressed in Korean traditional costumes. I found out they were some mothers so that was nice of them. I was at school at 8:30 like I was supposed to be and I went and asked the money guy if there was any way I could get my alien card today because I needed it to get my car. He was very busy but he said he’d call.

He tried calling a few times, but it was either busy or he’d be put on hold and then disconnected. It didn’t look promising. All this while the guests came in to be greeted by the principal and the women in traditional dress.

A small gift was given to each visitor. It was a box of hand towels. Why hand towels? I don’t know. Mee Kyung (the other English teacher) and I went down at close to 11. We went into the office to see about my alien card but no luck. She then went out and came back and told me I didn’t have to go to the ceremony. I was ready to explode. I asked who told her that and she said the vice-principal. I asked why and she said that it was all in Korean and I wouldn’t understand it. I was quite angry.

Why? Because I’m a teacher there and I want to fit in as best as possible with the other teachers. It doesn’t matter that there is a language barrier. I went to dinner with them so I could make friends and break the ice and show that we are all just people. You can’t have rules for me and then rules for everyone else. This is quite unusual for me to want to be one of the crowd, but I feel in this case it’s important. I tried explaining that calmly to Mee Kyung and I think she understood. She asked me if I wanted to go, and I said yes.

We went into the auditorium which was filled with the guests, the teachers, and the 2nd year students. There were a couple of incredibly boring speeches. They were boring in Korean and I know they would have been boring in English. They should have asked me to talk. It would have livened things up a bit.

The representative of the province picked up the school flag and handed it to the principal who put it back. I’m sure that meant something. When the principal spoke, one of the teachers gave a command and all the 2nd year students stood up and folded their hands and bowed. They sat down again. When he was finished, they bowed again, this time from a sitting position. I don’t know why they didn’t get up again. They had to do this bowing thing for one of the other speakers.

Then came the entertainment and I’m not being sarcastic when I say I really enjoyed it. First they had a string trio accompanied by a piano player. They did two songs. The first one was a traditional Korean song, and the second was “The Phantom of the Opera”. It was quite good. Then they had 6 kids who came from a high school to sing. The first song was one from the musical Rent (I think). They sang it in English and it was so cute because their accents were quite heavy. But, their voices were quite good. They then did an American song I can’t remember the name of, but this time the lyrics were in Korean. I really enjoyed them.

Then we went outside for the tree planting ceremony. This was weird. There is a tree with a plaque at the front of the school. It’s planted. However, they handed out white gloves to six people and shovels and they each put a shovel full of dirt in the planting box. Dynamite stuff. Then it was back inside.

I found the string trio and told them I really enjoyed their music and got a thank you. I found the high school kids and told them I loved their work and I got a very enthusiastic thank you. Then it was into the cafeteria for the popping of the champagne (no joke), the cutting of the cake, and lunch. There was beer served with lunch and also Soju (the traditional Korean alcohol) if you wanted it. And the usual stuff I can’t stand but today they had a treat. There was fruit for me. Yellow kiwi, pineapple, and watermelon. I filled myself on fruit and I was quite content.

The vice principal of a school about 10 minutes away introduced herself to me. She told me she had heard lots of good things about me. Big lies travel fast. Her English was excellent and her school is new too. They are having their birthday ceremony next week.

I finally found out how a school can be open since March and have a birthday celebration in June. In Korea you celebrate a babies (or a schools) first birthday when they are 100 days old. I think it’s so you’re sure they’ll survive. I was so glad to learn that because I was confused as hell.

We were supposed to stay at the school until 4:30 even though there were no classes and nothing to do. Mee Kyung now tried to call immigration for me but she couldn’t talk to a live person. She then had to go out for a moment so I called since I knew there was an English recording. I called and when they said, “press 7 for English”, I did that. I got a live person that way.

“Do you speak English”? I said. They didn’t but they dug up a body who did. I asked if my alien card was ready. It took them a while to understand that as they thought I was asking how to get one. Once they understood the question they looked it up and then told me it wasn’t ready yet and I’d have it next week. Now they have my passport too, and I’m leaving for Texas on Saturday, so I started freaking out. I told them I needed my passport back right now. They then told me that if I came into their office, they’d give me my passport and they’d make my alien card ready. I was hopping mad. What a stupid system. They told the money guy on Monday that we’d have it this week. How can it not be ready but it will be ready if I go.

Mee Kyung came back and I told her what was up as calmly as I could. I don’t think I got the calm part right. She said she’d take me and she’d go downstairs to tell the money guy what was up. I said I’d come along. She told me no, to just sit and wait for her. I guess I scared her. She really is a sweetie. She came back and told me that we were going to this city about an hour away to get it.

Now, as one of those flukes, this is also the city where she had arranged for me to meet her friend she told me about who’s a high school teacher and a Baptist pastor who has a family in Toronto. We were to meet at 4:30. So all this worked out well since we now how 2 reasons to go to this city.

Mee Kyung must have stopped 15 cars on the way to ask for directions. I was cracking up. She’d never driven there and she was totally clueless. It was so cute how she’d drive for 5 minutes, then look lost, then ask someone else. But we did make it to the immigration office.

We go to the desk, give my name and birth date, and they hand over my passport and alien card. I don’t understand why it was such a hassle to prepare. Obviously it takes 2 minutes judging by the fact I didn’t have to wait.

From there we headed to where we were to meet her friend. Mee Kyung got lucky and the first person she asked how to get to Home Plus (where we were meeting him) was also going there. So we got to follow.

We met Peter Kim there. Peter’s family isn’t in Toronto, but in Vancouver. He’s not going to join them in 2 years as Mee Kyung told me, but in July. He emigrated to Canada because God told him to, so he could serve the Korean Baptist and Canadian Baptist communities. Well, if that makes him happy, so be it.

We got in his car and he drove us to this church to meet the pastor there. This guy was an American and he was quite excited to meet me and doubly excited when he found out I was Jewish. We went in his office and he began talking. Peter and Mee Kyung excused themselves after a few minutes. For about an hour this guy was telling me about how Jesus was the messiah, it’s been mathematically proven because there are 48 prophesies that were fulfilled by him, and other crap. He had a book on Passover that was written by a Jew that converted and I could borrow it if I wanted. I told him I had plenty of books I wanted to read already so no thank you. I was polite. I just basically said the bible is open to different interpretations and he believes it was written by God, while I believe it was written by man. Let’s just say he couldn’t convince me to convert.

I didn’t tell him that proselytizers make me nauseous. I guess I’m getting more diplomatic in my old age. He was sorry I couldn’t be a “true Hebrew” which means a Jewish person who believes the same as he does. These people aren’t happy unless you believe the same as them. I told him that if he’s happy, then I’m happy. He’s been here 8 years on a mission to convert poor, ignorant Koreans. He gave me his card when we left and told me to call or write him with any questions. Yup. As soon as hell freezes over.

Peter asked if we would be staying for bible study. I looked at Mee Kyung and told her that if she wanted to, it wasn’t a problem for me. She’s a good Christian and said no. So Peter, Mee Kyung, and I went for dinner. He barely spoke to me. I guess he lost interest when he saw I couldn’t be converted. I told him that if he’s happy, then I’m happy. He asked if I was “really” happy. I told him I was. I have 2 beautiful daughters, I’m having an adventure, why shouldn’t I be happy? What a pompous ass.

We went to the food court at Home Plus for dinner. He asked if I ate Korean food and I told him no. We went to the Burger King and he said I should order from there but Mee Kyung and himself wanted Korean food because they didn’t like American fast food. I said I understood and I’d meet them where they were going once I was served.

I got there just in time for him to start praying before dinner. Mee Kyung bowed her head and Peter didn’t just do a 30 second prayer. He must have muttered on for five minutes. I don’t know who he was trying to impress, but the food was getting cold.

After dinner, Mee Kyung and I headed back to Paju. I asked her (and I knew the answer) if she knew they were going to try to convert me. She said she didn’t. I told her that her friend stopped talking to me when he knew I couldn’t be sold on his religion. I explained to her that I’m very happy for her (or anyone) who believes in anything that makes them happy as long as no one is hurt. I told her that I really didn’t care for people who proselytize. I think she understood and wasn’t offended. We get along so well, and even though her English isn’t the greatest, she knows enough to laugh at my lame jokes. I will miss her when I get back from the States. I hope we stay friends. If we don’t, it won’t be because of a lack of effort on my part.

She only needed to stop about nine times for directions on the way back. I was impressed. All in all it was an interesting day. I also found out why Baptists have services on Wednesday night. According to the pastor there is no big reason. It’s just the middle of the week so it’s a good time. And I thought that there was some significance.

I have all my paperwork so tomorrow I get my car. I will look funny out there being the only one stopping for red lights while driving.