MY FUSE CAN BE SURPRISINGLY SHORT

Sometimes I scare myself. I have infinite patience in most situations. I never lose it with the students. I tend to live and let live with friends (which wasn’t always the case). If someone is having a problem, I work it through with them. It’s the kind of person I like to be. However, sometimes I lose it instantly. It happened to me twice today and I hate it and afterwards when I think about it (of course afterwards, I’m not thinking when I lose it), I scare myself.

I went to the hospital in Ilsan today for the doctor’s appointment I had. I had a map (in Korean) but it showed stoplights and other things. It should have been easy. It wasn’t. I had no idea where I was so I had to stop and ask. Of course, I’m told in Korean so I try to decipher the arm waving to get an idea. It didn’t work. So I stopped again and as luck would have it, the hospital was about 20 seconds away from where I was stopped. I got a little frustrated while lost, but that’s my usual driving mode. So no big deal.

I waited about a half hour to see the doctor which is usual at any doctor. The man’s English was perfect and he seemed like a decent fellow. We went over my medications and he had no problem writing me prescriptions for the same thing. I said blood work would probably be a good idea so he scheduled it for August 7th and I’m to go back on the 9th for the results. I don’t know why we’re waiting so long for the blood work, but it’s been 6 months so what’s another few weeks.

The procedure at the end of the visit is to go to the reception and pay the bill, then I was to go to the pharmacy to pick up my Insulin and my prescriptions. They fill Insulin at the hospital and you go to a regular pharmacy for oral medication. Fine. I go to reception and the bill is $100 which surprised me. That covered my visit, the insulin, and some needles. The visit itself was about $60 which is much more than Gwangyang, and that’s with insurance. Maybe it was a first visit fee but I don’t know. I was fine with it. If that’s what it costs, that’s what it costs. Then the reception lady takes me upstairs to the pharmacy which was nice of her, to get my Insulin and prescriptions. That’s when I started to lose it.

They didn’t give me the Insulin I take. I should get it in a vial that I fill a syringe from. They gave me the “pen” which is an injector with the insulin in it. It’s useless. It holds next to nothing, and it’s not the brand of Insulin I require. I was going on that this was garbage and mimed throwing it away. My voice and manner were quite agitated. Then they gave me the prescription and they screwed that up too. It was missing one medication, and a few of them had the wrong dosage pills listed. I’m fit to be tied. “This is crap”, say I. I must have looked like a crazy foreign idiot.

The reception lady calmly took me back to the doctor’s office to voice my complaints. I did so in a rather abrasive manner. When I did my arm sweep to indicate that this was garbage, I knocked the phone over. It sort of woke me up to what I was doing. I calmed down and tried several times to explain the problem. The nurse was very patient with me and worked with me to understand what I was saying and to get the problem solved. She called several pharmacies to see who carried what I needed. This I don’t understand. If the pharmacy doesn’t have it in stock, they order it.. I don’t understand.

The whole process of getting everything straightened out was 2 hours. They were so nice to me and I was a total ass at the beginning. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to write a proper prescription. It seems their computer only lists certain dosages so that’s what they have to put on the prescription. They then put notes under it with the right amount. It’s crazy. It’s much too rigid a system because it doesn’t work for all prescriptions.

I finally left and went to McDonalds for a special meal treat. (How pathetic). I enjoyed it. (How doubly pathetic). As I left McDonalds I saw that I had a text message on my phone. It was from Min Kyung telling me that I had to be at school tomorrow because it’s a work day. I’m half way to a fit already. I replied, “What?????????????”. I then phoned her because I just couldn’t believe what I read. I was told that I had the rest of the week off until camp started. Apparently not. She said that no one told me that (she did as the translator for the principal), but she didn’t remember that. My vacation is in August for 1 week and that’s it. I said when do I have to be at school at she said 8:30 to 4:30. I said I was getting very sick and did a lame cough. I was furious and doing my best not to scream at her. I managed that but I was loud and condescending. I made no commitment to her about tomorrow other that I might be sick and we got off the phone.

Five minutes later she calls. She says I have to work (as do some other teachers) from 8:30 to 12:30. So I’ve gone from not having to work to having to work a full day to having to work a half day. Maybe I don’t understand anything. It’s possible. Or just maybe, these people don’t bother explaining things properly. Koreans (here comes a generalization that has been told to me by Koreans) are not exact people. It seems they don’t do details. Can this be confusing and annoying? Maybe not to Koreans but to stupid foreigners like me, it is.

My point, and I do have one, is that regardless of how annoying it is at times, I shouldn’t be going off the deep end. I don’t know why I do. I mean these are not end of the world issues. There’s no reason to panic. It all works out. Are there hidden frustrations buried in me that manifest themselves in this way? I really don’t know, but I’m quite bothered by my behavior at times. It’s not good for me, and it’s not fair to the objects of my non-affection. I’m not doing this daily or even weekly, but once is too much, and it’s been more than once.

Sometimes I can feel the tension in my arms and neck. It almost feel like my neck is all scrunched up and my arms are high. Maybe they are. I haven’t looked.

By the way, Min Kyung is not in the hospital. She went to the hospital yesterday for a stomach ache. Probably nerves. I’m glad she’s not hospitalized. She annoys the hell out of me, but I wish her no ill will. At least, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

So I’ll go to school tomorrow. It’s not that I had anything planned. I was going to do some camp preparation but I can do it at school instead of home. I must remain calm. I must remain calm.

Did you know you can get a pizza from the Vatican, here in Paju? There was a flyer on my door tonight from Vatican Pizza.