WHAT IS LIFE?

I don’t know but wasn’t that a George Harrison song? And isn’t he dead? It makes you stop and think, doesn’t it?

Being an English teacher in Korea at a public school is boring. I am in the classroom for 90 minutes a day plus 40 minutes for my morning broadcast. That leaves five hours and fifty minutes of time to kill. That’s a lot of time. I mean, how much porn can someone look at on the Internet? (That was a joke). What’s really fun are the days when I am done at 12:30 and I have to sit here until 4:00. It’s a battle to stay awake. I bring books to read and I keep hoping to discover something new on the Internet but the time just drags.

And what do I do when I get back to my apartment after these exciting work days? If I’m not going out to see Saeyoon or meeting Yoon Soo then I take a shower, look for emails that I won’t have, look on the Internet for something new, and then prepare dinner. I cook and I eat and I wash up. There goes 20 minutes. Then it’s back to the computer to waste time. Sometimes I read before bed at night. Sometimes I watch a movie. What a boring existence.

I know I was going to find an activity to do at night but I never did it. And my excuse now is that I don’t know if I’m staying in Paju so why sign up for anything. I had an email from a good friend yesterday (thanks again Laura) and she suggested I tough it out here at the school until February when I go to Toronto for Jerod’s Bar-Mitzvah. She says by then I should know how things will work out with my “maybe girlfriend” and if I want to change jobs I can have a fresh start upon my return. It’s nice to have friends who take the time to make realistic suggestions.

She’s right except for my one fear and that is getting fired. If they terminate me it will be very difficult to get another job. Actually getting a job will be easy but a new visa might be a problem. I won’t grovel before these jerks at the school here, but I would like to know that I’m safe until February. I’m thinking of actually doing dinner with the principal and Yoon Soo. Maybe we can talk informally and he can take the time to get to know a little bit about me. Maybe I can get a comfort level for the next few months. Of course, I’m asking a lot of a small minded idiot like the principal but I think I can do this. I hate to impose on Yoon Soo but if I promise not to insult the principal then he should be okay with it. I’ll think about it and get his thoughts on it.

I phoned Saeyoon last night at her home. Usually I call her cell phone and then if we’re going to talk I’ll call on the land line knowing she will answer. Her cell phone was off and she had called me earlier and was supposed to call back but never did. I wanted to know what was happening so I decided to risk having her mother answer. I looked in my phrase book on how to ask if someone is home when phoning. I was prepared. Her mother answered and I said what I thought was “Is Saeyoon at home?” Her mother said something that indicated to me that she didn’t have a clue what I was saying. So I asked again and again I obviously wasn’t making sense. Then I just said, “Saeyoon?” and she went to get her daughter. Saeyoon comes on the phone and tells me that her mother knew it was a foreigner calling. I wonder how her mother figured that out?

There are no holidays here until Christmas day and that’s just one day. This is a long stretch coming up without a holiday. I wonder when the last school day of the year is. I wonder if they’ll want me to do a camp again. I really don’t want to do a camp again. If I could be guaranteed good kids it would be fun. But I’ll get the dregs I’m sure and I’m not up to it.

If I had stuck it out in Gwangyang then there would be less than 4 months until my contract was over. What a strange thought. I wonder how Kelly is. (That was a joke). I think I’d be crazier if I’d stayed than I am now. It’s like I’ve lived in 2 different countries that have no relation to each other except I didn’t speak the language in either one of them. I’ve been here more than 8 months. That’s longer than I lived in Austin.

There’s always something to think about. There’s always something to wonder about. What I feel, I can’t say.