WHAT IS LOVE?

(This is my 2nd post of today if you want to look under this one if you haven’t seen that one.)

What is love? Who knows? Not me. However, I think I was filled with it today. I can’t believe how hard it was for me to leave school today. It’s over. No more idiot principal and vice-principal. No more annoying Min Kyung. No more being a policeman. No more morning broadcast. I keep reminding myself of these things.

I made it out of school today with only a bit of wet eyes. It was touch and go for a bit. I’m basically an emotional person but my meds keep me from breaking down and sometimes that’s good. There was no party and that’s a good thing. I showed some class when I left. I went and said goodbye to the head teacher. She doesn’t speak any English so I have no idea what she said to me, but she was smiling when she said it. I then sought out the vice-principal to shake his hand. So we smiled and shook hands and I felt like I did the right thing. I then went to the principal’s office and shook his hand. He smiled and said some things that were in Korean but he did say “bye” in English. I spent a little longer earlier in the day saying goodbye to the computer teacher because he’s a kind man who has been very nice to me. I then went and said goodbye to Min Kyung and wish her the best.

I went to the office this morning to see what they were doing about canceling my visa. The administrator had me wait until Min Kyung was finished her class so she could translate. She comes to the office and tells me that I go to immigration and cancel it myself. I know that’s not true from my Kelly experience. I have no idea why these people who don’t know what they’re talking about insist they know. The administrator calls immigration (finally) and finds out that he has to do it and he can do it over the Internet. Sometimes it’s good that I’m a nag. Min Kyung is being very cold to me and that’s fine. Let’s face it; we don’t have a solid love relationship.

I had no classes this morning so I just read and played on the computer. It was quiet but I knew I had 3 classes this afternoon and I wondered how they would go. I wasn’t going to teach anything and we just can’t have a conversation. So I used the old standby “hangman” because the kids like it. I hate it. After I did a few I let the kids take turns making up the words while I wandered around taking pictures. At the end of class I wished all the kids “good luck” and some of the kids came to give me a hug and tell me they love me and how sad they are that I’m leaving. Some of them wrote and drew pictures for me and gave me their work. It was so sweet.

Here are some of them:





The boy who went to school in Toronto last year and who brought me lunch gave me a gift. I was shocked. It was some chocolates and he’s such a nice young man. I did say to him (and some of the other kids who understand a bit) that I’m not worried about them because they’ll do just fine in life. This boy (Tae Young Rok) told me that I would succeed in whatever I would do. This is a 13 year old boy who is older than his years. I am honored to have met some of these people.

Here is a picture of him:


Here he is again in the broadcast control room:


And these are the girls who are in the “classroom” for the broadcast:


I only had 2 of the 3 classes as for some reason Min Kyung went to the 3rd class and just started teaching. That was fine with me. I went downstairs and asked if I could go in and take a class picture and she said yes. Then she offered to take one of me with the class. She had been very cold to me all day but it was nice of her.

Here is me with the class:


These are some 3rd year girls. The one on the left asked me to only take the picture from the waist up because she had her gym pants on. So she’s also crouching to make sure you can’t see the pants. She’s very cute, very nice, and speaks English pretty well.


Here is a short video of Min Kyung taking the picture. You can hear Korean being spoken.


One of the boys (3rd year student who spent a couple of years in Australia) asked me if I was going to be home tomorrow because he had a gift for me. I was touched by that and I remember that he came and introduced himself to me on my first day there. He asked my phone number so he could call and then come over and I gave it to him. Some kids asked for my phone number and I gave them my cell number. I can’t imagine that any of them will call. Some asked for my email and I hope they use it. It will be good practice for them and it will be nice for me.

As I walked through the halls some of the kids would ask me if I was really leaving. I told them yes and that I’d miss them. They’d tell me that they’d miss me and they love me. You know, I know it sort of sounds silly but I really take this to heart. I can’t express the feeling I have to receive their warmth and affection. It makes me feel special and like just maybe I touched them. I like to think it’s more than me just being a white foreigner but because of how I am with them. I believe they could tell that I sincerely liked and cared about them.

When I went back upstairs to get my bag to leave there was a gift on my desk. It was from Min Kyung. I was shocked. Life isn’t black and white and I know that, but it would be so much easier if it was. She left a little note with it and this is what it said:
“Dear Martin,
To begin with, I’m sorry not to have dinner together yesterday. I really want to say goodbye to you with good feeling. But sometimes you are hard person for me to understand. So I don’t know what to say in front of you now. This is my farewell present for you. Anyway, good luck.
Min Kyung”

I don’t know what to say. This is Min Kyung.


This is her gift to me. I think it’s a handkerchief. It’s from the Omar Sharif collection and all that’s important about it is the thought.


It was appropriate for me that at the end of my day there were several students being punished. What was their crime? Some girls had their hair not straight. You must have straight hair in school. This is a rule of many schools but it is at the principal’s discretion. No jewelry allowed either.

So I’m done at Duil Middle School. I wish it would have worked out better. I can’t handle 40 kids of different levels in a class. That’s reality. I will always regret that I didn’t succeed at the job. I know I could have done better, but I don’t think I could have done enough.

Here are some pictures I took today. These are some kids waiting to go in for lunch.




See all the kids with their hands up? They are being punished for something but I don’t know what. This is at lunch time.


This is the line to get your food.


Here is the food being dished out. The mask is either so they don’t breath on the food, or it’s to keep the smell out of your nose.


The teacher’s have to serve themselves their delightful meals.


Here they are sitting and enjoying lunch.



And now just some class shots.










I went to meet Manki for dinner tonight at a Korean restaurant near my home. When I was walking to the restaurant I saw a bunch of kids from my school. I had just said goodbye. But we had more goodbyes and more hugs. I rarely see kids outside of school and then today, of course, I see them. Dinner with Manki was nice. He’s very busy at his new school and he said he liked Duil Middle School better. That’s sad. He’s getting married next year. I asked him when and he said, “Maybe February, Maybe March, Maybe April”. I asked him why he couldn’t give me a straight answer and it seems that his parents and her parents have to consult with someone to see when the best date (like astrology) for the wedding would be. Some weird Korean thing but interesting to learn. We will see each other again. I suggested that his girlfriend and he go out for dinner one night with Saeyoon and I. He thought that was a good idea. I met his girlfriend briefly in the summer and she seemed very nice. She’s 36 and lives at home. Aaaaaaaaaah! It’s crazy.

When we were leaving the restaurant I saw a lot more of my kids. There is an academy in the same building as the restaurant so kids were going to school at 7PM. So I had more goodbyes and more hugs. It’s just so funny. I then went into a new gelato place and had a delicious lemon gelato. Figures. I’m moving and they get good ice cream that isn’t Baskin-Robbins.

So I move this weekend and start my new job on Monday. In many ways this has been an amazing eye-opening experience. I do like human contact. I like kids. I can communicate without speaking the language (to a certain degree). In many, many ways despite all my complaining I’ve been very lucky to have come in contact with these young men and women.