IF I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING, I’D BE DANGEROUS

So it’s now Friday night and I sit here alone in my room in the “love motel”. Living in a motel and being sick is no fun. Wednesday night I lost my voice. Thursday night I had the chills so bad I trembled violently for about 1 hour. So today I went to the doctor. He thinks it’s probably pneumonia. The air in Korea is great! I’m sure I’ve mentioned that. The doctor gave me two injections, one an antibiotic and the other an analgesic. Of course I still had to work today because that’s what you do in Korea. You go to work even if you’re sick. Actually, if I had a full time job I would have called in sick but since it’s just a temporary job I can’t afford to skip a day.

Tomorrow morning I will return to the doctor for an intravenous fill-up of antibiotics. He also thinks I have a lung problem but I couldn’t really understand what he was trying to say. He’s a nice guy and he tries though. (He is not my regular doctor who speaks English, just one I go to locally for the quick fix.)

I survived the week at the school. Some of the kids are so cute. I had one girl today come up to me after class and give me a hug and tell me she loved me. I have another girl (they are about 10 years old) give me massages the last 2 days. I didn’t ask, she just does it when I’m sitting on my desk between classes. And she’s good. The kids love to touch the hair on my arms. So being with elementary kids isn’t always a bad thing.

On Tuesday the principal asked me personally to come and work at his school as a regular school teacher. I declined the invitation but was flattered by it.

On Wednesday evening Saeyoon came to visit and we went to this little Korean noodle restaurant. A white guy came in and sat at a table alone and we were trying to guess where he was from. Saeyoon said she would go ask him and she did. He was a man from Turkey who has been living in Korea for 4 years and who can speak good Korean (according to Saeyoon). We moved to his table and had dinner together. He was so polite. He kept calling me “Mr. Martin”. Most of the conversation was between him and Saeyoon in Korean which was fine with me since my voice was gone. It’s amazing the kind of people you can run in to. He and Saeyoon exchanged phone numbers and perhaps we will go out for Turkish food together in Seoul one night. (Yes, there are Turkish restaurants).

I had my interview for the high school job yesterday and it was pretty much a waste of time. They want all my paperwork before they will sign a contract. One of the things I must have is a criminal check. It seems that a few foreigners who have worked as English teachers had criminal records. The newspapers and TV news got the story and the Education Departments was quite embarrassed. You can’t blame them for wanting to be more careful but getting this will be a pain. I need to get fingerprints, send them to the RCMP and then they can do the check. Because mail is so slow I will need to use couriers which aren’t cheap. But I was told they are holding the job for me, so it will be worth it (I hope). Why should I think a high school job will work out any better than my 3 other jobs?

Actually, even though I’m told they are holding the job doesn’t mean they are holding the job. My trust level for Korean employers is nil. They lie so easily. It was the recruiting agency who told me they are holding the job (and they are the people I’m doing the temporary job for) and I’m sure they are liars too. I was told I would be paid on Fridays so when I called to check about my pay today I was told it would be in the bank on Monday. In Gwangyang I was never paid on time. Kyle never paid me on time. Only when I worked at a public school in Paju was I paid on time. So in Korea, government jobs are best.

I’m not looking forward to this weekend. Saturday I have nothing to do and I should probably stay in. But staying in, in the love motel is not an appealing idea. Saeyoon is going to a Buddhist temple on Saturday and sleeping over as part of her class. It sounds interesting. She is coming to the doctor with me tomorrow as it makes her feel like she’s doing something for me. Yes, she has anger management problems but I see her as a good person. No one is perfect. She felt pretty sick about how she behaved Sunday night with her temper tantrum, but I don’t know how many of these episodes I can take. I’ve been good at letting them go because I hate fighting (I have changed) but I’m worried that she will cross the line one time too many. And as someone once said, “sometimes love isn’t enough”.

On Tuesday morning I asked the front desk person at the motel (who speaks a little English) if there was a place I could get my laundry done close by. He walked me down the street and we went into a tiny laundry. I don’t think they have Laundromats here in Korea. The price was obscene and I said I wouldn’t do it. We came back to the motel and he said they have a washing machine upstairs and he would have it done for me. I thanked him and then went out for the day and to work. When I came back in the evening he told me the washing machine was broken and he took my laundry to his house to do. He said it was his “duty”. I felt terrible. He shouldn’t be doing my laundry. When I told Saeyoon she said I could bring my laundry to her house. She volunteered her mother for doing it. I am going to take her up on that but I really wish there was a coin laundry and I could just do it myself.

My temporary job has been extended to 3 weeks which is fine since I think it will take a while to get my criminal check done. It means living in the love motel for another week. Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing. I’m out my bonus which I wanted and was willing to stick out a year with Kyle for. I’m out my plane fare back to North America. I’m still planning on returning in October or November (even though I’ll sign another 1 year contract). Sometimes I think it’s good here and interesting and fun. Sometimes it’s just so lonely. I know the reason I stay is basically because of Saeyoon. She says I could go back to Canada now and she would come in November. We could have a long distance Internet chatting, email, and telephone relationship for several months. I don’t want that. I’d rather stay here with her and play the string out. Will she come back with me? Sometimes I’m sure that she will and other times I have strong doubts. The only way to know for sure is to just not worry about it and let things happen.