ON THE ROAD AGAIN

What can I say? I can’t hold a job it seems. I keep making bad choices for the places to work. Of course, if I needed to support a family I would have no choice but to put up with crap. That’s reality. But I only have myself to feed so it does enable me a little freedom. I don’t consciously (I think) choose the wrong places to work. They do sound good at the time. However, like any place in the world there are good and honest and trustworthy people, and then there are those who are not.

Last Monday Kyle told me that the kindergarten I go to 3 times a week doesn’t want me anymore. Of course, I told him on my first day there I would fail. I am in the room with 3 or 4 or 5 year olds by myself. If there is a Korean with me I have no problem because they keep the kids quiet. I can’t do that. They don’t understand me so I’m just a joke. Having a 40 minute English class with 3 year olds is absurd. They need a babysitter or a real kindergarten teacher. They would be fine with a Korean-American who spoke both languages but sorry, I’m English only.

Kyle said he wasn’t surprised because he knows someone who only speaks English will fail alone in a kindergarten class. Then, why was I there? Who knows or even cares. So Kyle told me he couldn’t afford to keep me because I don’t seem to handle kindergarten kids or elementary students on my own. I agree with that. He said that last Friday was my last day but he knew of 3 “for sure” jobs I could choose from. He also does recruiting on the side.

One was teaching in a kindergarten but in English. It’s an immersion school. But when he talked to the owner, the owner said I was too old. I understand the reluctance to hire a kindergarten teacher over 50. But I would think that 50 is just a number and that they should meet the person. Oh well.

One was a job after school teaching elementary kids but I wasn’t interested. The 3rd was my choice of 2 girl’s only middle schools or a high school in Inchon. Inchon isn’t far and it’s on the Seoul subway line. The idea of trying high school appeals to me as there is a chance for conversation with some of the kids. This is a high school for kids who will go to University (they have high schools for kids who won’t make it to University) so it did sound appealing.

The reality turned out to be that the high school job wouldn’t be for a few weeks and it wasn’t mine for sure. I have to go for an interview. However, the agency he deals with needs someone to work in an after school program (1PM to 6PM) for the next few weeks. The money is good for 5 hours work a day and they are paying for my hotel. Living in a motel isn’t great, but it’s a paying job which I need. I am staying in a motel in Bucheon (where I lived) and working in Gimpo which is about a 25 minute drive. I could have stayed in Gimpo but it’s not on a subway line so I’m driving. Kyle also let me take over the adult class I enjoy so I work Tuesday and Thursday nights (in Gimpo) and get the full fee for that.

He’s still an untrustworthy ass but until I’m settled I will be nice. He thinks he’s buying my car after I get my new apartment since he’s paid some money for it, but I will be a dishonest piece of scum (just blending in here) and I am keeping the car. He’s screwed me over too many times so I don’t really feel bad about reneging on our deal. He’s reneged and lied so many times that I really won’t feel any guilt.

The agency that put me in the after school program wanted me to work for them full time. The hours are great (1 to 6), the pay is decent, but I don’t want to deal with elementary kids. I get nothing out of it. I can’t converse with them. It’s not all bad. There is some fun sometimes but it’s not enough.

Today was my first day there and the kids were surprisingly good. The principal wanted me to appear at a teacher’s meeting at 4PM to introduce me to the staff. Why? I don’t know as I’ll only be there for 2 weeks but I guess he wants to show off the prized “foreigner”. The principal also called the agency and said he wants me there full time as the kids and all the teacher’s loved me. But no thank you. I won’t live off the subway line and I know after a few weeks the elementary kids will make me nuts.

I have an interview for the high school job in Inchon on Thursday and I don’t foresee any problem with that. Kyle says he knows of a high school job in Bucheon starting May 1st so if the Inchon thing doesn’t work out maybe there is something else. If I’m desperate I can work the after school program in another town (like Bucheon or Inchon) and be on the subway line. Everyone needs teachers.

I do question my ability to get along with senior staff at schools. It’s just too hard for me to smile and bow and scrape like most Korean teachers. I know they do it because they need the job. I spent too many years working for a piece of scum to want to do that again. So why don’t I come back to North America? Good question. I’m afraid of looking for a job (just honest) and the plan was to stay here until November and go to Canada with Saeyoon.

At the moment I’m having doubts about that too. Everything was going very nicely. I even met her mother yesterday (finally). But when I came back to my motel I locked my key in the car for the 2nd time in 2 months. When I told her she flipped out. I have no idea why. I just thought that I was stupid and it was funny. She was yelling and screaming and being abusive. She even sent me a text message calling me a “stupid idiot white fucking English teacher”. I was hurt. I don’t want to be abused. She goes and says she’s “crazy” and can say whatever crazy things she wants, but I don’t agree. She’s been quite even tempered for a few months so this was out of the blue. As much as I feel for her, I’m not sure I want these sort of things to happen to me. It’s easy to love someone who is perfect; you need to love someone in spite of their faults. But I know there is a line somewhere and at the moment (this is 1 day later) I’m still in shock and still upset by the episode. I’ve done some pretty horrible things in my life, but I’ve never have gone crazy like that. It’s just too out of control and too hurtful. You don’t talk like that to people you supposedly love, especially about locking their keys in the car.

So I’m feeling a little down at the moment. When people ask me how long I am planning in staying in Korea I tell them it’s a day by day thing. I enjoy meeting new people and I enjoy talking to Koreans (who can speak some English) as I get to learn. On Saturday night Saeyoon and I went to hear a choir perform (she knows one of the people in the choir) and it was quite good. They did quite a few English songs but I think until they can pronounce the words properly they should stick to Korean songs The was one Korean song I really enjoyed and they did some English song (can’t remember the name) acapella and it was really quite excellent and enjoyable.

After the concert we went to visit Chang Ho (who was at my apartment a few weeks ago) and some of his band members. They were at their practice place and Chang Ho was quite drunk by the time we got there. I drank a lot of Soju and was feeling no pain. At about 3AM we sent to a singing room. That’s a place with a lot of small rooms for friends to gather and sing from the karaoke machine. It was a lot of fun. They had a good selection of Korean and English songs so I got to sing things like “Blowing in the Wind”, “Puff the Magic Dragon”, “Leaving on A Jet Plane”, “Yesterday”, “Staying Alive” and “Karma Chameleon”. It was a real hoot.

Yesterday I moved. Most of my stuff is at Saeyoon’s as she offered to hold it for me. That gave me the chance to meet the mother. She was friendly but speaks no English. She did actually say “Thank you” to me when Saeyoon told her that I said she was quite cute when she smiled. I am such a charmer but she really did have a lovely smile. She fed us (I survived Korean food) and then she wasn’t feeling well so she went in her room. Saeyoon and I sat in the living room and just talked. I felt so good and comfortable. It was so normal to be at her place just visiting. That’s why her outburst later shocked me so. We had bonded in a new way and then she just took it and spat all over it. Confused? I am.

So I have my Gimpo jobs for now and I have my high school interview on Thursday. Living in a motel room sucks. This is a “love motel”. You rent by the night or the hour. They’re quite common in Korea. I walked past one tonight and the a sign in English said, “Business Relax and Love Place”. When I was alone in my apartment it was fine as there was room to move around and I had a certain comfort level. This is a small room that I really don’t like being in by myself. Tuesday and Thursday will be fine because I work at night. As for the other days I’m not sure what I’ll do, if anything. And if that doesn’t tell me something then I am a bigger “stupid idiot white fucking school teacher” than even she thinks.