WHAT WOULD GET ME OUT OF KOREA IN A HURRY

To have a school age child. Not that it’s in my immediate plans, but it’s what comes to mind. Maybe this was a polite, well-mannered country at one time where children were raised to be respectful and have manners, but if it was those days are long gone. I find the majority of children here to have terrible manners and a lack of politeness that is quite disturbing. I have come into contact with quite a few children in the last 10 and a half months so I am somewhat qualified to make this observation.

I started work last night at the academy I was at the other day. I had five classes and most of these kids (aged 10 to 12) knew less than the kindergarten I’m at. I was back doing discipline (stand up over there) and trying to be pleasant to kids who I really didn’t like. I actually said “shut up” which I never say. It just slipped out. The books they chose for these kids, while simple, are way over their heads. No one knew what an elbow was. I went to the other English teacher who I met (and whose English is awful) and said I needed books for the class and a gun. She asked me what the gun was for and I said to kill myself.

I will admit that the last class of the five, while not brilliant was at least well-mannered and pleasant. I liked them and I had the other English teacher tell them that. I have no problem praising kids for being well-behaved. It’s such a shock to me when they are. Why did I ever have the idea that Oriental children are well-behaved? Of course, this is only Korea so maybe they are in Japan and China. Somehow I’m doubtful.

During a five minute break between classes a man takes me into a room to introduce himself and talk to me. His English was very poor. He managed (with my help) to tell me he was the vice-principal there and if I needed anything to just come to him. Of course, maybe I was putting words into his mouth. I asked him what he taught thinking it was math or something and he said English. It was all I could do to not scream.

Teaching a language is tough when you don’t have anyone who speaks the language. It’s tough when the students can’t practice speaking outside of class. I’m not sure why they bring all these foreigners in here to teach. They might say that it’s so the kids are exposed to native English speakers but I’m not sure. Sometimes I think it’s just for show. Put a white face in the class and everyone is impressed. Who cares if they speak English as long as they look the part.

I noticed the woman English teacher (who thought I was 35) carried a stick so I assume she hits kids. How impressive. Public schools have 40 kids in a class which is almost impossible to teach and then these kids go to academies for hours for more “learning”. I’ll never adjust and I would never subject a child of mine to this. So for the sake of freaking out my kids, if I ever have a child in Korea I’m out of here (with the kid and maybe the mother) by the time the child is school age.

The weather has warmed up somewhat so I’m not freezing. The cold remains and I fear it will be here for months. I have no idea what to do about it except to wait it out. It’s not fun.

I had my oil changed the other day and the mechanic said the car needed an oil seal, a timing belt, and 2 new tires. The problem with this is that Kyle had agreed to buy my car from me and now he wants to split the repair cost. I should have just sold the car and had him buy me a car (as the job comes with a car) but I thought this would be easier for everyone. If he would have done this on day one then all would be fine. But things dragged along and I wasn’t happy about this. I wasn’t going to argue with him about it because I really don’t want to fight with anyone. I told him that he could back out of the deal and just get me a car. His counter was to split the cost because he thinks he’s being a nice guy by doing that. I really don’t have the energy to go out and sell it on my own so we will probably do this. I will not hold it against him because he puts good things in the bank of our relationship.

He thanked me today for working past 6 3 nights this week as our deal is for only 2 late nights a week. I like the little things like that. Obviously he was brought up with manners and he understands that if you are good to your employees, then the chances are they will be better employees. So because I do think he makes an effort to see that I’m happy, and he does seem to care how I feel, I forgive him the immature things he does. I mean, in the scheme of life how important is all this? Not very important I would venture to say.

I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I know it’s getting kind of late but all I can think of is I sort of like hanging out and talking with kids. I don’t know if there is much of a market for that. If you hear of a job doing that, please let me know.

The consensus here seems to be that I have a kind face. When Kyle and I met the academy owner the other night (who doesn’t speak English), Kyle said he liked me. I said how could he like me, he never talked to me. He liked me because I have a kind face. Maybe I do and I’ve heard it from others. Maybe only Korean people find my face kind. Maybe I radiate kindness.

So Laura asks me what I’m going to do for my one year anniversary in Korea coming in February. My answer was that I’ll be in Toronto on that day. It was funny. I asked Elana today if she’s surprised I made it a year here and she said she wasn’t, just surprised that I had 3 jobs. I look at it as if I don’t have to be here, why stay in a job I don’t like. I have freedom of movement. I’m sick of moving at the moment and the idea of changing jobs again does not appeal to me. (I have no plans to bail on this job…..yet). I can’t believe I’ll have lasted a year here and will be here even longer (unless something changes quickly). Life definitely is unpredictable.

I’m fine as long as everything is going smoothly. I find that the littlest thing can send me to feeling down. I can’t shake off things. I get down and have to get back up. I would rather just shake it off. I’m not sure of exactly what I want. I know that’s no surprise to anyone. I’m resilient, but I’d rather be resilient without being up and down regardless of how brief the downs are.

I’m almost afraid at times to actually say what would make me happy. I’m afraid if I do that then it can’t happen. I think it was more defined when I was younger as to what could make you happy. If your kids were happy and healthy, your job was secure, their was a roof over your head and food on the table, and there was money for fun things then things were pretty good. It also kept you busy so you didn’t have time to think too much about “happiness”. You just were. Now that I’m alone I have much more time to think about what makes me happy. Life is a bugger at times.

I hope Starbucks stops playing Christmas songs next week. It’s not like North America here where you are inundated with Christmas things everywhere you go. There is just a bit but I have heard too many Christmas songs already. I will say though that I do like Bruce Springsteen singing, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. I haven’t heard the Crosby/Bowie rendition of “Little Drummer Boy” this year and I would like to hear that though, a rum bum bum bumpf.

I bought Saeyoon a gift on Sunday and told her it was a Chanukah gift. I bought her 4 pairs of socks. She wears socks that people under the age of 70 shouldn’t be caught dead in and I always told her I was going to buy her some decent socks. So I went out and bought some colorful and young looking socks. She was surprised and liked them. It’s not the price or the size of the gift, it’s the thought.

So how’s the relationship going you may ask. Of course, maybe you’re not asking. It seems to be reasonably stable and going along nicely and growing. I will admit I do miss her a lot when I don’t see her. This week hasn’t been good because of our work schedules so I don’t think we’ll see each other until the weekend. Next week it should be more normal. I do enjoy spending time with her. She puts a smile on my face and in my heart. I can’t understand totally what it is about her that moves me but I’m not complaining about it. It’s nice to care and have someone who cares about you. Of course now that I’ve written this there will probably be a big fight coming.

I can feel that pieces of my life make sense and are in place while other pieces are not in place and I’m just lost. It’s difficult to explain. Can I achieve 100% contentment with my lot in life? Does anyone? I think that I think too much. I need to find a travel agent who offers holidays where you can get away from yourself.