YOU BETTER NOT LAUGH

Today at a new kindergarten customer I made my first appearance. Not as Martin the loveable teacher but as jolly old St. Nick. That’s right, yours truly played Santa Claus for about 250 kids. I put on my lame costume that allows me to inhale phony beard hairs (next time I use my own beard) and sat in a room. They brought classes of kids in (which I thought would never end) and each kid came up to me for some stimulating conversation.

“Hello”, says I. They might respond.
“What’s your name”? says I. They might respond.
“Have you been a good boy/girl”? says I. They might respond.

There was a Korean woman standing behind kids translating my words shown above but I don’t think it helped. I then gave each kid a gift. 250 times. Then they would pose for a picture taken by this professional looking photographer. There was also a videographer shooting everything.

Once you say the same thing so many times, you forget what you’re saying. Sometimes I’d start to say, “How old are you”? but then I remembered that would be too difficult and stop myself. Sometimes I’d just draw a blank and not know what to say and then it would come back. The whole process took about 2 ½ grueling hours.

There was the occasional break where the kids would entertain me with a song. I heard “Let It Be” twice. Sort of. They couldn’t really say the words in a way I could understand. There was also “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” twice and some other Christmas songs, some sung in Korean.

I like little kids. They’re fun. But I hate being Santa. It’s boring and stupid. Kyle promised me an expensive lunch for doing it and the kindergarten owner gave Kyle and I both $10 when we left to buy ourselves lunch. The perks of being Santa.

I took my camera so Kyle could take pictures but he only shot movies and the room was dark. You can’t use the flash when you do movies on my camera, so they’re useless. I have no pictures to share. I will ask Kyle if he can get some the professional took so I can share them and take them out every year to remind me to never do this again.

Only 2 kids cried when coming up to me which wasn’t too bad. One of them recovered enough later to come up again without crying. Kyle said I’m good at it and you can see I like kids. I don’t know if I’m good at it but I do know that I don’t like it.

Yesterday a new girl (about 6) started at one of the academies I work at. I walk into class and she starts crying. Why is she crying? I’m told she once had a foreign teacher who hit her. I find that hard to believe but what do I know. She calmed down after a while.

At the other academy where I started on Tuesday night, I returned on Thursday night. I had 4 new classes and they were all nice kids. It seems that only the annoying kids go on Tuesdays. They’re not good at English and know very little, but they listen and are well behaved so they are okay in my book.

I’m starting to wonder how long I can last working with kids who I can’t really talk to. They’re nice, they try, and all that but it is going to turn into a drag I’m sure. If I’d work nights, I could have older kids who I can talk to, but I hate working nights. We will just have to see what we see.

Kyle and I took the car to be fixed yesterday. They quoted a price and we left it there. We went to pick it up today and they did other things and wanted money. We didn’t pay. Kyle says that this is not the regular way things are done in Korea. A quote is a quote and if something changes they notify you and ask permission. The car place didn’t put up a fight over not being paid for the extra. It was strange that they would do such a thing.

I met with the middle school girl who spent 2 years in Canada today. Her mother served juice and I liked it. I asked what kind it was so I could buy some. They showed me and then gave me a big package. She has also given me ginger tea. I have to be careful about saying what I like when I’m there, I may end up owning their home.

It’s a long weekend. No work on Monday as they have Christmas off here. So here I am on a Friday night doing nothing. Yes, it’s lonely. Saeyoon is out with a former classmate. Supposedly we’re seeing each other tomorrow morning as she plays organ in church tomorrow for several services beginning at 3. So tomorrow night I’m alone. Sunday she just has the regular service so she’ll come over after that and I believe she is bringing a blueberry cheesecake ice cream cake. Sounds good to me. I think we’re hanging out Monday. But this is Korea where nothing is sure until it’s done. Plans are made to be broken.

My problem, obviously, is a lack of friends and activities. I like seeing Saeyoon the best, but I need other things. Robert is an occasional outing but he departs the end of February. Yoon Soo is far away now and hasn’t called me and he should have by now. And that’s it I think. I am thinking of trying to make friends with 2 English teachers I have met and respect. They are both young women. One works at the kindergarten and the other works at one of the academies. They’re English is good and I think they’re good at their job. I just don’t know how to approach it. “Excuse me, I’m not hitting on you but would you like to go out”? I may have to ask Kyle for the Korean view of how to approach this but I’m not sure he would know. I think he believes in hitting on everything.

I’m putting on weight. Too much sitting home and eating crap at night. Loneliness will do that to you. Maybe if I get a fixed schedule I will actually sign up for some activity. I don’t want to start moaning again about being lonely; it’s just a fact of life. I don’t know what I need to make me stop being lonely. I have a girlfriend and that is good. When we’re together, I’m not lonely. When we’re apart, I am. And that my friends is pathetic. (At least I know when I’m being pathetic).

Sometimes I think about returning to North America. I have no idea what I’d do but Laura says I should stop saying that as there are plenty of things I could do. (I hate positive people). Leah says I should return to Austin and I must admit the weather is appealing and I do have 3 friends there (Leah and Taylor and Laura). However, I’m not leaving here while Saeyoon and I have something going on. I still want to see where this goes. She says she’s open to leaving Korea, so you never know.

All I can say is what good is sitting alone in your room, come here the music play. Life is a Korean adventure old chum so come down the Bucheon way. (And on that foul note, I shall depart).