ALL STUDENTS ARE NOT THE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL

Just most of them. But talking about the special ones, this boy comes into my classroom at 12:45 today. Lunch is 12:30 to 1:15. He has brought lunch for me. He told me he made a sandwich (or his mother did) and brought fruit. Why was he being so nice? Two reasons. One is that he’s a good person. There are good people here and if he continues along the path he seems to be on (he’s about 13) he is going to make a fine man. He is also the boy who spent last year studying in Toronto. He has asked me to help him with a speech he’s doing in a speech contest. He wanted me to correct his grammar and pronunciation and listen to him say it. I told him that it was no problem. So the lunch was my payment as everyone knows I don’t eat Korean food in the school cafeteria. He is just so kind. I had already eaten so I told him to put it in the fridge in the teacher’s room and I’d eat it tomorrow. I’m serious when I say that a thank you is payment enough if I actually get a chance to help someone.

My class before lunch can define bad manners. Talk, talk, talk. I wasn’t going to compete with them so I stayed quiet. I then gave homework where they have to write one page (in English) on why it’s a good idea to talk in class. Or they can write on why it’s a bad idea to talk in class. It’s their choice but if they don’t have a paper done, they don’t get back in class. I’m sure more than half of them didn’t understand so the boy who was in Australia for 3 years said he would write it in their home room on the board in Korean.

During the class I made one girl (who is useless and always talks) get up in front of the class. I then told the class that this girl knows no English, and the reason is that she always talks in class. Korean kids hate to be singled out. I then thanked her for her time and told her to sit down. I don’t get mad, I get even. This is war and I lose if I get angry so I don’t get angry.

I have someone named “Ratzafratz” leaving comments on my blog. All comments are welcome. No one has to agree with anything I say, and no one has to support how I feel. I don’t know who this person is, or if I even know them. Who knows? I seem to have offended him or her in some way with my behavior. I think my point is that I don’t have any answers and I’m trying to figure things out. Sometimes I don’t go about it in the right way but as some people say, “life is a journey”.

His comment from the previous post was:
______________________________________________________________________
"I got an email from Elana and she’s having a problem recognizing and relating to me. This is serious business. I’ve never made any secret that the two most important things to me are Elana and Leah and it pains me that she is having a problem understanding me and relating to me."

The problem is yours, not Elana's. The parent-child relationship has been reversed. You have been acting very immature with your narcissist dramatics as you enter your third childhood. Respect has been lost.

On a side note, you are probably the only one who finds it endearing that your girlfriend eats her food like a toddler.
_____________________________________________________________________________

I want to reply. The problem, in case I didn’t explain myself properly, is not just Elana’s, but it’s ours. Hers and mine. Saying the parent-child relationship has been reversed is absurd as she is not playing a “parent” role in any way, nor should she. As for me being immature, that is quite possible. Although who of us is qualified to sit in judgment on others? I used to judge everyone and I was a fool. Sometimes people need to figure things out for themselves and it can be a long and arduous journey.

I don’t think the definition of “narcissism” fits me. I don’t love myself, I’m not vain, and I’m not even fascinated by myself. I do find that at times my life is interesting and I enjoy that. I enjoy doing things that are atypical of people my age. I like to sit on the floor in bus stations if all the seats are taken. It’s not a typical thing for 50 year old men to do. Does that make me narcissistic? I don’t think so.

A third childhood? Maybe. However, maybe it’s just the second or the fourth. I don’t know where 3rd comes from. And, since I am an adult, maybe even an immature adult, why can’t I have as many childhoods as I want? Once again who gets to be the judge?

As for respect being lost, that was lost over a previous incident and it doesn’t have to do with Korea. At least that’s what I think. And I don’t believe that moving half way around the world to try something new is a cause for someone to lose respect. (You are quite narrow minded and dare I say it, narcissistic yourself).

As for Saeyoon’s eating habits I’ve never been one who was overly impressed by table manners. People are free to eat however they wish to eat. Some people would be disgusted by some of the things she does. I happen to find some of them cute. It’s just the way different people see the same thing. (I used to stick French fries up my nose in an effort to get a cheap laugh, and it sometimes worked.)

Live and let live. That’s a good rule and not one I’ve always followed but I’m trying.

I had dinner with Yoon-Soo on Friday night. He was his usual late self. This time he was 30 minutes late. I think if Koreans show up 1 hour or less past the scheduled time, it’s okay. We ate, we chatted, we adjourned to Starbucks for coffee and more chat. Once again I repeat, I do enjoy his company. He’s working a lot of hours because he’s in charge of this new computer system coming into the school. He has to demo it for all the principals in the city and head teachers at the end of the month. He works about 15 hours a day or more. He’s crazy. He complains no one helps him but it’s his own fault. He never should have volunteered. When he was asked, he should have said “no”. He says he has a problem saying no, so I told him to spend 1 hour each day in front of a mirror and just say no.

Saturday Saeyoon and I went to the air show at an air force base in Seoul. There were a lot of people who came to see (mostly Koreans) but it was like being in little America. The highlight for me was I got to make a pig of myself like I haven’t done in years. They had a food area so I had within 15 minutes a chili dog, a hamburger, a bratwurst, a cheeseburger, and corn on the cob. It was like the good old days of fair going and eating until I wanted to explode. I thought that was all in my past, but I enjoyed it.

What I didn’t enjoy was the air show. When they got to the part of dropping simulated bombs (a lot of black smoke) I went for a walk by myself and wouldn’t look towards that area. I sang anti-war songs to myself. It was very upsetting. I’m a pacifist and I understand sometimes war is necessary, but it being part of a “show” was offensive to me. Call me a commie and a pinko if you want because I don’t care. I ain’t marching anymore!

Showing how well organized the event was, they wouldn’t let me in with my backpack. They weren’t letting any backpacks in for security reasons. Then a soldier told me to hang on because he was in communication with his colonel and maybe they were going to change the rule since most people come with big bags. Another soldier told me it was the Korean army that made the rule and the Americans were just following. Then a Korean soldier tells me that I can go in and an American soldier stops me and says “no backpacks”. I say the Korean soldier let me in and he says he doesn’t care, the American brass says, “no backpacks”. I’m ready to go home. Then the Americans decide to let backpacks in. Crazy, but that’s the army and government for you.

Yesterday, Robert, Yoon Soo, and I went to Costco. I was disappointed. They had some different things to get which was nice, but the prices weren’t that great. I spent a lot of money but didn’t walk out with a lot of things. I have enjoyed 2 pepper salami sandwiches on rye bread so far, and chocolate pretzels are much better than I thought they would be. It was an interesting experience but not one that I have to repeat.

I was gone from my home for about 7 hours and more than half that time was spent in the car. Driving in Korea is such a treat, especially in Seoul. I know Saturdays are hell but I thought Sunday wouldn’t be too bad. It was better than a Saturday but still not too good.

Saeyoon went with family to visit her grandmother’s grave in the south of Korea. She spent over 12 hours in the car for that journey so I shouldn’t really complain. If I lived in Seoul my car would rarely be used. Subway is so much better.

I have my meeting with the English Supervisor later today. I hope traffic isn’t bad and I can get there on time. Yoon Soo says to not have much faith in anything being done for me, and I don’t. So why bother? Why not? It’s something to do and besides you never know, sometimes you do get nice surprises.

It’s still in the 70’s every day which is unusually warm for this time of year in Korea. I can’t believe it’s the middle of October. I’ll be booking a plane ticket for Toronto before you know it. I know I have some serious decisions to make and I’m not exactly putting them off but more like waiting a bit. But they’ll be happening soon. If they don’t happen soon then I’m just procrastinating and I don’t want to do that.

Life is sometimes very interesting. It can be confusing as hell and I can feel very lost and confused but I think deep down I actually feel like I’m slowly moving towards something. I can’t exactly say what that something is, but I’m getting there.