I WILL

If you only see one video this year, this is the one to watch. It’s one of my kindergarten classes singing one of my all-time favorite songs. “I Will” by the Beatles is a beautiful and moving song and has always touched me. When their English teacher told me she had taught kindergarten kids this song, I thought she was crazy. A kid’s song? No way.

I was wrong. Every time I see them doing it I want to cry. I don’t know why. The song is beautiful on it’s own but watching and listening to these well-behaved and adorable kids brings me almost to tears. Maybe it’s their innocence combined with the warmth and loveliness of the song. I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s incredible that no matter how many times I hear them do it, I am moved.

The video isn’t the same as being in the class with them, but I hope you can get a bit of the feeling that I get when seeing them. There are six of these kindergarten classes and they all know it. I shot one of the classes today because I just had to have a copy of it.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this is one of the best things I’ve witnessed in Korea. (The quality of the video on YouTube is not a good quality. It’s much better on my computer).



I still have nothing really to complain about. Driving is a pain as I knew it would be. Some of the kids are not fun to teach but some of them are cute and nice. I have 2 middle school girls that I manage to have decent conversations with and I enjoy that. Work is not strenuous but I really don’t like working in the evening. But you can’t have everything.

I was at the Academy today teaching the small class of little kids and I don’t really like it. A class of four of these kids is not as well behaved as a class of 35 kindergarten kids. Today 2 girls (about 7) were fighting and then crying. I just got the Korean teacher to come in and handle it. I won’t do serious discipline.

I was talking with one of the mother’s before class and she asked me how I liked Korea and Korean food. I told her that I like Korea and the people, but I don’t like the food. It was her opinion that if I start to like the food, I’ll stay in Korea longer. I told her that if I’m in love with someone in Korea then I’ll stay longer. She got a laugh out of that.

I’m buying Robert dinner tonight. It’s his birthday (sometime in November) so it’s my treat. He treated me to dinner for my birthday so I’m being nice too. Plus, I do enjoy shooting the breeze with him. When he leaves to go back to Toronto at the end of February, I will miss him. He’s the only native English speaker I’ve become good friends with over here, so it will be a hole in my life. As good as some Koreans speak English, you need someone who’s native tongue is the same as yours to talk to occasionally.

For some reason I’m feeling very positive about Saeyoon and I at the moment. I know that feeling this way has curtailed some of my complaining and I can’t put my finger on what’s changed, if anything. Maybe it’s me growing up a little and not expecting everything to go my way. Maybe she’s changing even more to fit in with me. Maybe it’s both. I like the positive feeling but it makes me nervous. I can’t believe things will go good so I am waiting for something bad to happen. I know that’s stupid and crazy but I’m sure everyone at one time or another just felt that things couldn’t work out for them. It’s almost like you feel you don’t deserve good things.

I just know that I’m through beating myself up about this relationship and just letting it happen and see what will be. There obviously is a lot of good in it or it wouldn’t be going on five months. I know how she makes me feel and I know how I make her feel by what she tells me. And her telling me things is a very un-Korean thing to do. I know I can get her to laugh which is one sure way to win my heart. I love people who think I’m funny.

There is this intangible thing I feel for her. I have no words to describe what goes on inside of me at times. It’s almost like she takes my breath away. It’s not anything special she does, I can get the feeling just sitting in Dunkin Donuts drinking coffee (me) and hot chocolate (her). I tried explaining it to her, but it’s difficult. I also told her that I hate dating because it’s such a hassle. Dating is quite unnatural in many ways. Sometimes you feel you should be going home together but you’re saying goodbye for the night and going your separate ways. I live in an apartment, not a home. I want a home and I want some stability in my life. And I must reconcile that with this craving for small adventures and crazy things (like moving here). I’m 51. Can I keep doing this lifestyle forever? I think things little by little are being revealed to me. I guess I’m slow at times. I do know that I have to stop driving myself crazy and complaining about things. I need to accentuate the positive and either fix or ignore the negative. I’m not an idiot even if at times I behave like one. I think there’s hope for me.

It’s Thanksgiving in the U.S. and I miss turkey. Hell, I even miss going to Stan and Sharon’s and spending time there stuffing my face and falling asleep watching football on television. Leah is going to Tyler to spend Thanksgiving with her in-laws and her mother. At times like this I’m very jealous. Elana is having her annual Christmakkah party next month and I won’t be there. (I’ve never been to one). Her mother will be in Toronto then so she can go. I’m jealous. I know what I would do if I had a million dollars and it wouldn’t be buying a K-car or eating Dijon ketchup.