WHEN IS A TUMOR NOT A TUMOR?

When you take a medical test that involves pictures of some kind, things can be misinterpreted due to shadows, lack of clarity, incompetence, whatever. It appears my stomach tumor was not a tumor but an inflammation of sorts. That was good news. It wasn’t fun to have another tube stuck down my throat, and it’s not fun paying for a test that I wouldn’t have needed if the first test would have been clear, but it’s better than a tumor.

This happened to me once before. I was sitting in the doctor’s office by myself and decided to read my chart. It mentioned an “unidentified mass” or something like that. I was quite upset. They did another test and saw it was nothing. As if I don’t have enough problems, I can really use these false alarms. But like I said, having it end up as nothing sure beats stomach cancer.

My heart CT was not exactly good news, but it wasn’t that bad. The bypass from 6 years ago is still clear and there is no problem there. It was interesting to see pictures of the arteries that are being bypassed, as they are totally blocked. Without bypass surgery, there would be a world without me. That’s a weird thought.

There was some narrowing of other arteries that may be accounting for my shortness of breath. The doctor gave me some new medication to try that may open the arteries up a bit and help. If it doesn’t work he wants to do an arterial angiogram and most likely insert a stent to keep the arteries wide. This is not surgery but it would require a hospital stay of about 3 days. The reason for that is I have to come off the blood thinner I take, and be carefully monitored. You can’t do an arterial angiogram on some taking warfarin (blood thinner). What the angiogram is, is that they make a small cut in your leg and stick some sort of wire into it with a camera that goes up in your arteries. The doctor said they could do the stent at the same time. So I go back in 2 weeks to discuss with him how I’m feeling.

I have insurance here but I don’t know how much it would cover. If I need this I’ll have to find out. I’ve spent a small fortune (for me) on tests so far so going back to Canada (if I’m still covered under National Insurance) might be an option. I’ll have to see.

It’s good to now what the problems most likely are so I can stop worrying about them. I’ve felt really beat up because of the stress it puts on me (and I try to downplay things as they are happening). So the news, while not terrific, isn’t too bad. Hopefully the end of this current round of problems is fast approaching.

Work carries on. Not good, not bad. Just work. I do have some moments of real pleasure and I do have to actually try and perform well for the kindergarten kids to keep them interested. I have no problem at the kindergartens except for one of them. Most kindergartens have the Korean teacher in there with me to keep order, if needed. One place I visit 3 times a week leaves me alone so the kids are mostly animals. I do not believe someone who can’t speak Korean can get the attention of these kids. It’s not their fault (I guess) because they don’t speak English. It’s not my fault as I’m not Korean. But I do really hate this one place because I have a job I can’t succeed in. It’s no fun when you know walking in that you are going to fail.

I also know that I can’t teach English to 2 and 3 year old kids. 15 or 20 minutes a week isn’t going to do anything for them so I have to try and stay energetic and funny. I have no idea how long I can keep it up for but I do try.

I still love my adult class. I would like to go out with them some time, but it wouldn’t be the same. I know they have families and lives that have nothing to do with the class. I just think it would be fun to go out drinking with them. There is this one woman (in her 30’s I guess) who I really enjoy talking to. She’s been married 11 years and has 3 kids and her English is quite good. She says things that interest me. She’s taking ballet and jazz and she’s never taken dance before so that’s good. She said she’d like to take guitar but other people would think she’s too old to do that which is ridiculous. One of the questions I asked this week was “what is one of the worst things you’ve ever done to yourself or someone else”? Her answer was quite interesting. She said it was marrying her husband because if she didn’t marry him he might have found a better person. I think someone who can say something like that has to be a pretty good person themselves.

When we were talking at break she asked me when I’m leaving Korea. I told her the plan at the moment was November but that can always change. She asked me what I would do about my girlfriend and I told her the plan was for her to come back with me. She said she’d like to come to my wedding but I told her that we weren’t getting married. She told me not in Korea, but in Canada she’d like to come if we get married. What’s really interesting is learning a little more about these people week by week. If this woman wasn’t married with children I’d love to go out with her. She’s cute but what’s more than that, is the way she thinks interests me.

Another question I asked was “what is one of the worst things that’s ever happened to you”? Sometimes I don’t think about what sort of answers I’ll get. One man said it was when he was a boy and he was swimming with his 15 year old brother. The brother had a heart attack and died. The man has never been able to go swimming again because of the memory. What can one say? Horrible things happen to people. A woman had a baby who died shortly after birth. It’s interesting that they share these things and I think part of it is because of the comfortable atmosphere I create and I take pride in their opening up. I thank the class from time to time for how much they are teaching me. But what do you say to people who have had these terrible things happen to them? There is nothing and I hate that.

They have a fruit here called “halabong”. It looks like an orange and it’s sour and has a sort of orange-grapefruit combination taste. I love it. One time with my 2 middle school girls I teach twice a week, the girl whose house it was asked me if I’d like anything. I said halabong. She said she didn’t have any but the next time I was there, she said she had a surprise for me. She was standing there with her hands behind her back and she brought out two of them. I thought that was so sweet of her to tell her mother (I guess) to get some for me. Then in the last class when I was leaving the mother gave me a bag with some halabong in them. Like I have repeatedly said, most Korean people have been very kind to me.

These girls asked me my phone number and I gave it to them. Hwasoo (the girl whose house the class is at) wanted me to take her phone number. I guess she’s 13 and about as tall as me and slim. I lay down on the floor to take my phone out of my pocket and she lays down beside me to see I enter everything correctly. It was so weird. I guess I should be flattered that she’s so comfortable with me that she thought nothing of lying beside me. I must be doing something right to make these connections with people.

I told the girls I would take them out one time for a meal and they were quite happy to hear that. They said they wanted to go to Outback. Great. Expensive. They’re nuts. I was thinking cheap Korean food but part of me is tempted to take them there because I enjoy their company and their attempts to communicate with me. Maybe if I can get them to share a steak I can do it. Hwasoo said she’s never had steak before. What will probably happen is that this will be another of plans to be nice that I don’t follow through on.

The regular English teacher at one of the kindergartens I work at (name of Yuran) tutors some children and they wanted to have a native speaker come in every 2nd week. She asked Kyle if someone could do it and he said yes. Kyle lied to me and told me it was close to where I am and would allow me to finish at my 6pm finish time. Last week when I went the class was nowhere near where he said it was and I couldn’t even get there until 5:30. He said he didn’t know that it was where it was, that he was told it was closer. I figured he was lying but it was just a feeling. He told me that if it was where I said it was, I wouldn’t have to go back.

On Thursday night Yuran called me about the class on Friday (yesterday). I was busy and told her I’d call her back. I called Kyle and asked him if he’d spoken to her since last week (he told me he was calling her on Monday), but he said he hadn’t. He said he’d call her Friday morning. I called her back and told her I didn’t have any idea what was happening but that she should call Kyle, leaving my name out of it. I’ve been told to not trust Korean people to keep their mouths shut, but I like and respect this woman and I don’t like that she’s being lied to. She told me that twice Kyle said someone was coming and no one showed up.

I got a text message from her shortly thereafter saying she’d see me Friday at 5:30 and gave me an address. I told this to Kyle and he said he was going to call her. He is such a fucking liar. I told him I would go at 5:30 but this was the absolute last time. I only did it because I didn’t want to leave Yuran high and dry. I asked Kyle if she was meeting me at the kindergarten at 5:15 so I could follow her, and he said yes. She just happened to phone me as I was driving there and she had no plans to meet me. So he lied even about meeting her. She did come and get me and I told her that I was not coming back after this class because the timing was bad. I told her that Kyle said he was going to supply another English teacher but I told Yuran to be careful. People can’t always be trusted. I did everything but tell her explicitly that he’s a liar and not to be trusted, but I dropped enough hints so hopefully she’s careful. It’s not nice because she’s telling parents things based on what Kyle tells her, so she ends up looking like an idiot. I told her this. I hope she is as trustworthy as I think and leaves my name out.

Some people are just born liars. It’s just come naturally to tell a lie when the truth wouldn’t be so bad. They lie about everything and I think Kyle is one of these people. I trust people to begin with and then if I learn differently, so be it. He fooled me when I met him. It’s not the first time I’ve been fooled and it won’t be the last time. It was a mistake to get mixed up with him but I’m not looking for another job.

I don’t have much of an exciting weekend planned. Supposedly Saeyoon is coming over tonight. She has an aunt’s 70th birthday to go to who doesn’t live far from here, but we’ll see. When you make plans with a Korean, things are always subject to change. My plans with Saeyoon are no different. I don’t know if it’s dishonesty, an inability to commit, or just a hatred of being responsible for what you say, but Koreans are different from Westerners when it comes to plans.

OF SQUID AND MEN

Every so often I’ll ask Saeyoon what I can get for her to eat when I go shopping. She always has nachos when she’s here and although she says she’s not sick of them, I think she could use a little change. She always says that I shouldn’t get her anything but when I asked her Friday night, she caved. She said I should get her some Korean food but we decided that since I know nothing about Korean food we should go together. She did however mention squid.

I don’t know what it is but I love to watch her eat. She has terrible table manners (she licks the plate) and the things she eats could make you ill. However, she loves her food and I enjoy watching her enjoy eating. I don’t think they’ve invented the food she won’t eat. Of course I’m leaving out meat as she doesn’t eat that but she is not a vegetarian.

Squid smells. She ate some in my car in the summer and the smell was deadly. But in my kindness on Saturday I bought her a package of squid. There were 2 in the package and when she came over Saturday she was quite excited to see the squid. She told me I bought the “expensive” squid but I told her she was worth it. (The cost was about $5). I just assumed that you take it out of the package and munch on it but I was wrong. She took out one of the squids and then heated it on the burner. No frying pan, just sat it on the burner. Oh, the smell of squid is quite a joy!

She loved her squid and you can see her excitement as she sat down to her meal of squid, nachos (of course), salsa and thousand island dressing combined to dip the nachos in, and bagel chips. When I came back to my apartment after taking her home that night, the smell of squid nearly knocked me over when I walked in the door. It’s now Monday night and the smell is almost, but not quite, gone. Here is a picture of Saeyoon and her meal, and a closer look at the tasty delight called squid.





We watched “Thank You For Smoking” on Saturday night and I loved it. I laughed and laughed. Some people may have found it offensive, but I usually enjoy offensive humor. Saeyoon had trouble following it even with the Korean subtitles. The talking is very fast so the subtitles were fast. Also, it’s a very American film so a lot of the things they make fun of (lobbyists, etc.) are lost on non-Americans.

I had my follow-up appointment with the stomach doctor today. I hadn’t given my tumor much thought since the test because they told me it was nothing to worry about. However, the peace of mind that came with that statement is now gone. My stomach doctor wants me to have another test to see the seriousness of the tumor. I’m sure (ha ha) that it’s benign and nothing to worry about, but just the fact of having to take the test makes me nervous. The test is on Thursday so I only have a few days to worry about it. I get the results of my heart arteries CT scan on Wednesday and my tumor test on Thursday. Some people have all the luck. But as Elana says, I’m invincible.

My problem (small problem) is that I used to think I was immortal. Or that’s what Laura would tell me I thought I was. But guess what? I don’t think I’m immortal. Where before I would laugh at disease and just see it as something to go through and get better, now disease scares me a bit. I believe I can be strong in the face of any disease but where there was no fear before, now there is a little fear.

You say to yourself and to others, “I’m sure it’s nothing”, and that’s probably true. It most likely is nothing. But that doesn’t stop your head from imagining a bunch of horrible scenarios. And where would I go if I was really sick? Am I still covered by the Canadian health insurance? Would I have to wait forever and a day for the proper care in Canada? Do I let the Koreans deal with it since I’m insured here? Saeyoon told me that if I was seriously ill then she would move me in to her apartment and look after me. I guess that is one way to be sure and meet her mother. But it is a nice thought. But I will be fine. And there are a lot of but’s in this paragraph.

I had 4 classes of pre-school students today (4 years old and younger). One of the kindergartens (they don’t call them pre-schools or day-care) has a Korean teacher in there with me when I teach. I have no trouble and I play around with the kids. I doubt I teach them anything. But at least they aren’t animals. This other kindergarten I was at today leaves me in the classroom alone with the animal kingdom. This is the same kindergarten where the video from the previous post was taken.

Today in my first class at this kindergarten the teacher got them all seated and then left. Many of the kids would come up to me and hit me. I don’t like that. They rub my bald spot and I can handle that, but violence is a no-no. There was this one creature who kept coming up to me and hitting me and I would tell him not to. I wasn’t getting anywhere. He then kicked me. I got up, threw him over my shoulder, and took him to his teacher. The kid was crying when I grabbed him. Good. The teacher doesn’t speak English but I mimed this kid’s actions. She kept him for about 10 minutes and when he came back in, he stayed far away from me.

I just let that class run wild. The class after them actually paid attention for about 20 minutes. Having a 40 minute English class with 4 year olds is absurd so I was pleased with the 20 minutes. Why were these kids “good” while the other class was “bad”? I don’t know. These kids would come and sit on my lap or kiss my head or kiss my hand. I fell in love with one girl. She stayed with me all class and was talking to me and whispering to me (I have no idea what) and we bonded. I asked her if she’d be my girlfriend but perhaps 4 is too young for me. But in all seriousness when I left that school today I felt I had made 1 friend. So what if it’s only a 4 year old. I just felt we connected and it felt good and changed what would have been just a totally bad experience into an experience with a good feeling. Thank you young Korean girl, whatever your name is.

WTF WAS THAT?

I went to go grocery shopping this morning. The supermarket I usually go to is located in the subway station along with a few other stores. One of the other stores is a Dunkin Donuts so I go and pick up a coffee there first. I walked in this morning and this Korean woman approaches me and drags me to her table where she was sitting with her friend.

Neither of them spoke any English (and I mean ANY) and I don’t speak or understand Korean but they were babbling away at me and I was smiling and saying, “I don’t understand”. What I think they wanted was for me to take their picture with their camera phone. No problem except I couldn’t figure out how it worked and it seemed like they didn’t know either. Finally one of them gets it ready to shoot and I take a picture. They then make me sit down with them and they’re talking at me. I get the bright idea to call Kyle so he could perhaps translate for me, but he wasn’t answering his phone so I was just a nodding and smiling fool.

Then one of the women gets up and starts looking for someone in the store who speaks some English. She drags this poor young guy over (about 20) and he asks me how old I am. I had no idea they wanted to know that. I say 51 and he tells them and then they tell him that they are 49 and 41. They were quite pleased with my age. The young guy then made his escape (lucky guy) and they kept talking. They wanted my phone number so I gave it to them.

Then they talked some more and what I think they were saying was if we could all go out together for drinks. I said yes and to call me. I’m miming and guessing and clueless as to what they are really saying. They then leave so I’m expecting a call from some Korean person letting me know when we’re going drinking. Or then again, maybe I don’t understand anything. It was truly a bizarre experience.

On Thursday evening during the break at my adult class, the ophthalmologist asked me if I was interested in going to Jeju Island with him one weekend. Jeju Island is in the south as is known as the Hawaii of Korea. I told him I’d love to and thanked him for the invite. He told me that all it would cost me would be air fare (about $100) as he knows people there (I think) who will pay for everything out of his friendship with him. When the English isn’t perfect you leave some things open to interpretation.

I think this venture will be in May. We will leaved Saturday morning and come back Sunday night. I get a cheap trip to a supposedly beautiful place and he gets my fascinating English conversation. He’s a really nice man and I was really honored that he asked me. When I told Saeyoon she said she wanted to go, but I think it’s a men only trip. He didn’t mention his wife or kids so I have no idea what the trip will be, but I’m just thrilled that someone likes me so much to extend such kindness towards me.

I have so many classes now of kids between the ages of 2 and 4 that it’s nothing short of absurd. I can’t teach that age group anything, least of all English. If I don’t speak Korean they aren’t interested in listening to the funny looking guy. Some schools will have a Korean teacher in there with me to keep order, and some won’t. Needless to say, the ones where I am alone are a disaster. I just let them run amok because I’m not the police and I don’t yell or try to frighten anyone. Yesterday I had 10 3-year olds to myself. Every time I said something, they would start laughing. Then some of the braver ones would come and hit me. What fucking animals. I do put on my “stern” voice for that,. It’s just a stupid joke. You can’t teach these kids English with one short class a week. It’s just advertising so they can tell the parents they have a native speaker there. I don’t think they mention the native speaker does nothing.

Since I was doing nothing except watching them run around I took my camera out and took this short video of my “English class”.


It’s now Saturday afternoon. Saeyoon is coming over shortly after her jazz music lesson. She’s learning jazz piano (how cool) from a teacher she likes. I’m so envious of those that can play music. I think we’ll watch a DVD tonight. I’m leaning towards “Thank You For Smoking” as it has Korean subtitles and I hear it’s funny.

I have no idea what the plan for tomorrow is, but it won’t include work so that is good. At the moment I’m leaning towards staying until November. Maybe it’s crazy but the plan is that in November (or December) both Saeyoon and I will go to Canada and try living together. Is she worth staying 7 more months in Korea for? Obviously I think so. Of course, like everything else, I reserve the right to change my mind. (I think that was a joke).

SO, WHAT’S NEW?

Not much. I had a CT scan yesterday on my heart arteries and I’ll get the results next Wednesday. When I got there my pulse was 96 and they like it to be 65 or less for the test so they give you some drugs to bring it down. It seems my heart rate wouldn’t go beneath 75 so after 2 hours of waiting they finally took the pictures. I’m not worried. What will be, will be.

Some of these kindergarten classes I’m getting are a total waste of time. The kids are about 2 or 3 and there is no way I can teach them English. I’m not qualified to handle large groups of per-school children. Sometimes there is a Korean teacher in there with me, and sometimes there isn’t. I won’t yell at them or act angry. I just let them do their animal act because I know I can’t win. Perhaps if they cut the class size down from 25 to 12 each, and instead of 40 minutes did 20 minutes, and had a Korean teacher in there with me, there would be a small chance for success. But I tell Kyle I will fail as it is so my conscience is clear. I know what I can do, and I know what I can’t do. I’m not a pre-school teacher.

Saturday night Saeyoon and I went to Chang Ho’s house for food and alcohol. There were about 15 people there (all Korean but me) and I had a very nice time. Perhaps it was all the plum wine I had but most people are kind and if they know a little English, they make an effort to communicate. I also drank some Soju so I think I was quite inebriated. After leaving, some of us went to a bar because if you’re Korean, you can’t drink enough. I had some Soju there and then Saeyoon took me home in a taxi. She spent the night (because it doesn’t seem to be that big a deal for her when she’s been drinking) and in all honesty it’s wonderful to wake up and see her beside me. On Sunday we went to see a play that she had free tickets for. It was all in Korean and the chairs were quite uncomfortable. So not only didn’t I understand a word, my butt was killing me. She tried to explain what was happening but there was no action in the play, it was all dialogue. Saeyoon said it was boring to her. But it’s something new I tried.

There is a musical here that has been playing for over 10 years that we will go and see. It’s in Korean but they have English subtitles so I’m looking forward to it. Originally it was a German play that they translated. They’ve modified it so much so that it reflects Korean life that they no longer have to pay royalties to the German creators. I am looking forward to this.

Kyle is still an ass and a liar and I have to watch everything he does and keep bringing things up that I shouldn’t have to. My job is mundane and basically I don’t really like it. There are a few classes I like but mostly I would just as soon not do it. Life is life. I read a lot. I watch DVD’s. I spend time with Saeyoon but not enough time. My eating habits suck due to irregular hours, no oven, and extreme laziness. The weather is getting nice. The days are sunny but it’s still cold at night when the sun goes down. I still think about what the best thing for me to do is and I know I’ve promised myself to make a decision by mid-month so that time is almost here.

It’s so easy to just fall into a rut and let life blow you this way and that way without taking any positive action yourself. I think I like to stir things up a bit so it’s probably time for me to do something a little different to shake my life up. I know I’m just letting things happen to me and I’m not overly happy with my current situation. I don’t really like my job (and what job would I like?). I love Saeyoon but I’m tired of dating and saying goodbye at the end of the night. I had one adult student tell me that the best thing about being married (and she’s been married over 20 years) was that when her and her husband go out, they can go home together. I really liked that.

Maybe I’ve learned too much patience since being here. Perhaps if I hadn’t reached the level of tolerance and patience I have now, I’d be quicker to do something. Food for thought.

I have 3 elementary students to teach this afternoon, followed by 2 hours at a kindergarten, followed by 90 minutes with a clever 14 year old girl who is pretty full of herself. Oh joy. Can’t wait.

I LOVE LUCY FLASHBACK

Remember the episode of “I Love Lucy” where her and Ethel babysat the twin boys? The boys tied them up and set them on fire. It was funny like most episodes. Yesterday I was “teaching” my 6 year old student who knows nothing and just can’t seem to remember anything. At one point she took her Tai-Kwan-Do belt and started to tie me up. I thought of that episode. It did kill time because teaching her is next to impossible. I also teach her sister who is 13 and is a very nice girl. Her English is okay but she tries and we talk.

Yesterday I spent the hour with the middle school student just having a conversation. It’s so nice when we can do that and don’t have to use the book. I get to talk, she gets to try and talk, and it’s a nice and normal change. And I’m interested in what she has to say. I learn about Koreans through these conversations.

In my adult class (which I love) on Thursday night I did something different. I always ask everyone to tell about what they’ve done since the last class and it’s boring. I can almost recite what everyone will say before they say it. I wrote 4 questions on the board and everyone had to answer one of them. The questions they had to choose from were:
What is the meaning of life?
If you could change one thing in Korea, what would it be?
What do you dislike the most about Korea?
Why are people willing to pay such ridiculously high prices at Starbucks?

One student tackled the first question. She is a religious Christian and she quoted some famous preacher who she went to see last year. The answer to the meaning of life is that this life is a preparation for the next. I have changed so much. The old Martin would have thrown up all over her and looked at her like she was a moron. The current Martin thanked her for her answer and told her that it’s not so hard to answer questions. Her English isn’t good but she made the effort and that’s what I concentrated on. I like when I’m tolerant of things that I totally disagree with.

The question that was answered the most was the Starbucks question. That really surprised me because that question and the meaning of life question were just “jokes” I expected no one to answer. Some of the Starbucks answers were quite good. Some people felt people go to Starbucks in Korea because they want to be “cool” and they are better than others. They are probably right.

My ophthalmologist friend answered about what he would like to see changed in Korea. He spoke against the drinking culture here. People go out to a bar and have some drinks. Then they go for dinner and drink. Then they go to another bar and drink some more. Drinking is a problem here as I’ve mentioned before.

Tonight I will be drinking. Chang Ho (who was here a couple of weeks ago and can be seen in a picture dancing) called me last night to invite me over. That was very nice so Saeyoon and I are going and his band members will be there. It will be a social night of food and alcohol. It should be fun.

I am starting to feel like I’m in a rut. I haven’t been too happy the last few days. I’m just in a bad mood. I’m not happy with the lack of direction in my life. I had such high hopes when I came back from Toronto and they seem to have disappeared. I will have to force myself to do something.

I THINK I’LL PASS FOR NOW

I went to the doctor yesterday to follow up on how my blood thinner medication level was. It seems to be jumping around a lot of many months of stability. I take a drug called coumadin which is a blood thinner that all heart surgery patients take for the rest of their lives. Without it you could bleed to death if you’re cut. No thank you. When I was seeing him he asked me how my “shortness of breath” was. I forgot to mention that on my blog. I get winded very easily and it’s not because I’m out of shape. I told him that it still was not good. I walked up 3 flights of stairs yesterday and I could barely make it. Before my previous heart surgery I’d get winded walking from my front door to my mailbox at the end of the driveway. Not normal and not good.

The doctor suggested I have an angiogram which checks out your heart arteries. I’ve had one before and I said it would be no problem. Apparently now I have a choice of 2 methods. One is through a CAT scan and the other is the normal way where they send a camera (I think) up in your body. I’ve had that one and it’s no big deal. The doctor said the old way is a little more accurate as sometimes the CAT scan picks up shadows that distort the view. So, I said I’d do the old way.

However, when I had it years ago it meant about a 1 hour visit to the hospital and that was it; however this time it would require about a 4 day stay in the hospital. Because I’m on this blood thinner, they can’t do the test. They would need to take me off it, put me on another one, monitor me, and test me when I’m ready. Therefore a reasonably healthy person (me) would be stuck in a Korean hospital feeling fine for about 4 days. I would like the more dependable test, but I can’t really miss work for 4 days, but more than that the idea of 4 days surrounded by Koreans by myself in a hospital is too depressing. So I’m having the CAT scan next week. More fun for me!

On Tuesday I had to go to the same kindergarten twice. It was opening ceremonies for the kids and their parents and they introduce the teachers. I guess they wanted to show off the white guy they got. So I had to stand at the front with other teachers, be introduced, step forward, and then bow. No problem. They then gave me the microphone to say a few words. I made a few comments which I’m sure only about 15% (if that many) of the people understood. It was just so weird to be standing in front of all these people who don’t understand what I’m saying and talking to them. The school got wise for the 2nd time we did it. They had another English teacher translate my comments after I made them.

I don’t have a firm schedule yet. I’m told next week things will be normal but I never believe anything Kyle tells me. He did ask me again if I’d work 2 nights until 7PM instead of 6PM and I said no. He asked me why and I said, “because I don’t want to”. I will not go out of my way for him. I’ll do my job and that’s about it. I don’t owe him any favors, nor should he expect any.

On Tuesday night I worked until 10:20. When I got home Saeyoon was here as she wanted to study (her Buddhism stuff) and she asked if she could study here. Of course I said yes. It was kind of nice to come home and have someone here. It was almost a domestic scene. “June, I’m home. Where are Wally and the Beaver”? Things are good between us and seem to get better all the time. Of course, that’s probably a recipe for disaster but I’ll take the good while I have it.

I went out for dinner with So Yung last night. She is my former adult student who is 24 (American age). I really had a nice time with her. She is a sweet young girl. She wants a boyfriend so badly. She’s cute but I have no idea where you meet people. I told her if I was 20 years younger and had hair I could be her boyfriend. She and her friend Gee Hun (who was my student also) want to meet Saeyoon so I told her that one Saturday night the 4 of us could get together at a bar or my place. She sounded pleased with that idea.

I’ve read 12 books since returning from Toronto. I love reading. It will soon be time to buy some more books. I’m always finding something to spend my money on.

My life is boring. It’s so routine. What should I do to shake it up? We shall see.

FEAR NOT

I went to the hospital on Saturday morning for my test. I had to stop eating at 8PM Friday night which was tough since it’s after 8 that I like to eat the most. (The mints aren’t bad either). When I got to the hospital they told me that I needed to have an injection because of my artificial heart valve and the test could be dangerous without the antibiotic.

So they took me to the “Injection Therapy” room where they did some sort of skin test first. That meant giving me a needle and seeing if anything happened to me in the next 15 minutes. After 15 minutes I was still alive so they hooked me up with an intravenous drip and then put me in a bed in a room full of sleeping Koreans. I brought a book so I read.

The drip took about 30 minutes and then I had to wait 30 minutes for it to settle in (or whatever) before they could do the test. Then the test. Oh boy! You lie on your side curled up in a fetal ball. They freeze your mouth with a spray and but a mouth guard with a hole in the middle in your mouth. They then take this effing long tube which has a width a little wider than a dime and keep shoving it down your throat. You gag, you drool, your eyes tear up and they are manipulating this tube in your stomach to take pictures. It wasn’t fun.

After that you sit with a doctor and he shows you pictures of your stomach and explains what you’re seeing. His English wasn’t great but he managed. It seems I have Reflux Esophagitis and Erosive Gastritis. That is why my stomach is bloated. I knew it was something. He gave me a prescription for 2 weeks and I’m supposed to go back and see how it’s going.

He also told me I had a Submucosal Tumor in my stomach. I just put my head in my hands when he told me and was saying to myself, “I knew it”. He then said it was only 1 cm. in diameter so it was benign and nothing to worry about. It’s when it’s 3 cm. that you have to worry. He said I should take this test once a year just to be sure all is okay. So I don’t have stomach cancer which I was truly afraid I had. Boy, that word “tumor” is one scary word. You hear it and it just saps all the life out of you for a minute.

So I won’t worry about my benign tumor and I’ll take my medicine and hopefully clear up the problem. The problem is caused by too much acid in my stomach. They didn’t tell me what to eat or what not to eat but maybe that’s what the Internist will talk about when I see him on March 19th. Who knows?

I had my best compliment last week from the Ophthalmologist in my adult class. He told me that he operated on a person from the Philippines 2 months ago and had a very difficult time communicating with them. They speak English in the Philippines. He then said he operated on another person from the Phillippines last week and he had no trouble communicating. That made me feel very good. I’ve actually helped one person.

The weekend was fairly quiet. Robert left on Friday. Saeyoon and I went out with him last Wednesday to say goodbye. I miss him already. Just knowing my only native English speaking friend is gone is sad. We will stay in touch (hopefully if we’re not lazy) but it won’t be the same as making plans to meet and having him show up 30 minutes or so late. Boy, I’ll miss that.

Saeyoon and I watched “Dreamgirls” on Thursday night. What a dog! It was so predictable and the music was quite pedestrian. At one point I said to Saeyoon that this character would be dead in a few minutes. She asked me how I knew and I told her I wrote the script. Two minutes later he was dead. We had a good laugh. In fact, the enjoyment of that film was that we both laughed at it. So far we have agreed on the quality of all the movies we’ve seen. We haven’t seen a lot, but so far, so good.

The weekend was fairly quiet. I watched “French Connection” on Friday night. I love Gene Hackman. He really dominates the screen. Saturday night Saeyoon came over and we just chatted and Sunday I read a book. I love Michael Connelly books. I also watched “American Dreamz” and I’m embarrassed to say that I enjoyed it. I thought Dennis Quaid did a good and insulting satire of George W. Bush.

I had a big screen TV that I had been using. It was Kyle’s but he had no room for it. Now it’s gone. He sold it to his parents and I’m left with a little 14 inch TV. What a comedown. The quality of my movies will suffer.

Kyle wants me to work until 7PM on 2 nights on top of the 2 nights I already work past 6. I told him no and he said to not tell him no yet. I should think about it. It would mean a few more dollars for me but I hate that he just expects me to do it so I will stick with my no unless he sweetens the pot. I’ve always treated him fair and been honest with him, but he’s a weasel. If he would have given me the big TV I would have said yes.

I will have much more working hours starting next week. I have gotten used to hardly working but I suppose the work won’t kill me. The fact is that except for my adult class which I enjoy, this is just another job. I try and do well at it, but I have no passion for it. I get a kick out of the kindergarten but I think I’ll be doing kindergartens 4 days a week so my enjoyment of it may lessen somewhat.

I think about what I should do about staying or going every day. I know I said I’ll make a decision soon and I know I must. I need to pick some sort of date be it very soon or November and just go from there. I have given myself until the middle of March to decide. I know what I want to happen but that isn’t entirely in my hands. I can’t make decisions for other people and I don’t want to try and talk them into what I think is best for them. So Saeyoon will make her life decision (right or wrong) and then I’ll make mine (right or wrong) and we’ll go from there.