A CALM DAY

Yesterday I did basically nothing. I downloaded some music to increase my collection from this most likely illegal Russian site. It's 10 cents a song so the price is good. I suppose I could be a touch more moral than cheap, but cheapness wins.

I had a nap yesterday afternoon for about an hour. It's the first nap I've had in ages. I think I'm quite tired both physically and emotionally. Sometimes you don't realize the toll moving half way across the world takes on you.

Of course my Korean lessons didn't start today. However, I'm assured that we will have a class at 3:40 for 20 minutes as an introduction and Kelly will assign me homework. I'm nervous because I don't think I can learn languages. And of course with that attitude, success isn't in the cards. I will have to adjust my thinking.

I survived the complete day (even kindergarten) without blowing my top, insulting kids, or even raising my voice. When kindergarten was over I was in shock that I survived it. I had to throw one kid out of class today because he bugs me and he was throwing things. I hope he quits the school. Kelly says she talks to the kid's mother, but the mother doesn't believe that her kid is a brat. Part of her job must be hell.

Kelly also told me that she has to refund one month's tuition for two of the kids. It seems I was supposed to be in their class a couple of times a week for "conversation with a foreigner". Of course, no one told me. So there was a complaint and she had to make good on it seeing I'm a selling feature. I did feel bad for her but she didn't seem to mind.

It looks like my Japan trip won't be this coming weekend, but the following weekend. I will leave on a Saturday and probably return on the Tuesday. I will be taking a boat because I'm told it's only 2 to 3 hours. The embassy is in Fukuoka (wherever that is) and when I did some looking on the Internet it said the boat ride was about 15 hours. Kelly insists that's wrong and I hope she's right. The Internet also said it was a minimum of 2 to 3 days to get the visa. Kelly says you go to the embassy one day and pick up your visa the next. What do I know? I will have to learn where Fukuoka is and how far it is from things. I'm anxious to do some sight-seeing.

Wednesday is some sort of National Holiday. I think it's "The Japanese Got Out of Korea" day or something like that. No school. Then Thursday morning Yoga starts. Maybe a life is in the works. Who knows?

I will close with some dynamite shots of my apartment. I hope I captured the spaciousness of this palace. That thing in the middle is my clothes drying rack. What? You thought I had a clothes dryer?

I"VE NEVER SEEN MORE NAKED MEN IN MY LIFE

I was one of the kids in school who after gym class when the teacher would say, "Everyone have a shower", wouldn't and then say they did. I didn't want to go to the steam bath with my dad because it was too damn hot, and I didn't want to be naked with a bunch of men. In fact, I think I've successfully avoided getting naked in a group of men all my life. And if there was a time I absolutely had to, I was up against the wall moving at the speed of light.

It looks that is all ancient history. Last night was my visit to a Korean Sauna. I can honestly say I've never seen anything like it, and in a way it defies description. You have to see it to try and understand it. But I'll try to explain it.

First of all it's not really a sauna. A sauna is a very hot room to sweat in. There are those, but there is so much more. The Korean Sauna I suppose can be compared to going to the park on a Sunday with your family.

We got there at about 10PM and it was full of people. These places are open 24 hours. You can get food there, or you can sleep there. It costs approx. $6 to get in and enjoy the amenities.

I went with Kelly, her husband (whose name I must learn), and their 3 year old daughter (who I'm sure has a name too). You take your shoes off at the door like at all Korean places (restaurants, whatever) and take them to a shoe locker. You put them in the locker, close the key in the door, and take the key. Then you go pay and they issue you some cloth clothing. It's shorts (almost knee length) and a top (a v-neck thingy). They have 3 different colors. The men wear brown, the women wear orange, and the kids wear gold.

You then go to the change room which isn't just a change room but the common 'naked' area. You can shower, go in the hot or cold tub, shave, cut your toenails, put on cream, whatever. We went to our lockers where you use the same key as the one you got upstairs with your shoe locker and change into the uniform of the place. I didn't know whether you wear your underwear under your shorts, but I watched Kelly's husband to learn. Always be observant and learn is my motto. You take everything off before putting on your outfit.

Then we went upstairs to the common room. It's a huge room filled with all the people (men, women, and children). They are sitting on the ground on the floor or on mats. Or they are lying down. Or they are enjoying some food. Kelly brought food just like a picnic. I had a piece of bread. It's like a very busy park.

Kelly's husband took me up the stairs from where I saw a children's playroom and a computer room full of computers and kids, playing computer games. It's a real family place.

We went back downstairs and in this huge room (which has a big screen TV for those who can't go without) there are many doors leading to the different sauna rooms. Each one is set at it's own temperature. I thought what the hell, I'll try it. I go in the first one. The temperature's are posted outside the doors so you know what you're going in to. The temperatures are in Celsius. The first room I went into was 37C (98.6F). I sat on the floor. There were people either sitting there or lying there or sleeping there. Some of these rooms have these divider sort of things so you have your own private cupboard to sleep in. There is a TV in the room of course so people won't miss anything. 100F was nothing. I've lived in Texas for 10 years so that's a regular summer day.

I left after a bit and went to the 55C room (131F). It was a trifle warm. Same thing. People either sitting, lying down, or sleeping with some of them watching the TV in that room. And of course there are many who have to use their phone so you have those who are talking on the phone. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be so I thought I could step up after a few minutes.

The next room was 72C (161.6F). Was it hot? Is the pope Catholic? Why do people sit in these rooms? How can they sleep? Aren't there more comfortable places to watch television? I toughed it out though. I gave it about 10 minutes (who knows really though because I think my brain was starting to fry then).

I left that room and needed to cool off. Obviously. What better place to cool off than the room that's -12C (10.4F). There is no TV in that room. There is ice though. On the walls, on the pipes, all over. But after being in 161 degree weather, 10 degrees doesn't seem so cold. So I cooled off and hoped I wouldn't catch pneumonia from this adventure. I went back to where Kelly and her family were picnicking in the big room. Then she tells me to go with her husband to a different room. Okay, I'm game.

We go to another room I hadn't noticed. There is no temperature posted outside the door. I think the reason is they don't want anyone to know because they'd be insane to go in there. And there were about 12 insane people in there. After being in 161 degree weather I would estimate that this room was about 180 degrees. Breathing is a challenge but I got the hang of it. The floor is so hot that there are mats everywhere so you don't burn your feet. If you love to sweat, then this would be your heaven.

After about 10 minutes he suggested we leave. I wasn't going to cave first so I was okay with leaving that room. (I was a little worried when I noticed my skin was starting to bubble). We then went to the cold room which really didn't feel cold now. We just sort of waited for the sweat to dry a bit and then went back and sat in the common area.

After a bit he asked me if I wanted to go downstairs and shower. Me? Naked? In a group of men? As I always say, when in Korea, do as the Koreans do. I'm game.

I just want to mention that I was the only white person in the place. I was the only one with a beard. I was the only one with body hair. But the adults weren't staring which was nice. Some of the kids would stare and then say, "Hello". I think that was the sum of their English but I liked their friendliness.

You strip off your outfit and go in this huge room and pick a shower (no dividers) and shower off. The shower felt so good I wouldn't have cared who was there. (And the reality is, no one cares who is naked). After the shower we went in this little pool where you sit. The water was hot. What a thrill. After sitting for a bit in the hot water we go to another pool. You guessed it. It was cold water. And was it cold. After that we start walking back to the shower area when he pulls on a chain from the ceiling that turns a shower on from the ceiling. He indicates I should stand there. I do. Funny guy. Ice cold water. It was funny and he enjoyed playing a joke on me.

We took another shower at normal water temperature and then went to dry off. Of course since it's Korea the towels are made for dwarfs. So I use a bunch of them and get dry. I weigh myself and see I've lost about 6 pounds since moving here. Kelly's husband then points out they have toiletry kits with clippers and cream and other things to beautify yourself with. I'm beautiful enough, and I cut my toenails in the privacy of my own home.

If you are going to cut your nails or just hang out, you sit down naked on one of the benches in front of the TV. What else? I got dressed. That was basically the visit. I'm so glad I went there because it was a totally unique experience for me and something that I couldn't have imagined.

I've posted a few pictures that I managed to take. One is of the common room, one is of two men sleeping in the common room, and the other is of the doors to two of the saunas with the temperatures posted.

I got back about 1:30AM and had to get up at 6AM to get ready to go and tutor at 7AM. That 90 minute tutoring goes quickly since those kids are there to learn. I then visited the supermarket to pick up a few things including a barbecue chicken. It's my Sunday lunch treat. I do wish I could sit down somewhere in here and eat, but you can't have everything.

I have nothing planned for today and don't know where to go. I still have no idea what's in this town. Supposedly my Korean lessons start tomorrow, Yoga starts on Thursday, and I may be going to Japan next weekend to get my visa. I don't fly to Japan but take a boat. It's only about 2 to 3 hours. I had no idea. (Geography is not my strength). I will do my visa run to tie in with a weekend to do some sightseeing of Japan. It's amazing when I think very casually, "oh, I'm going to Japan next weekend". I can't explain how weird it feels to write that or even think that.

IT'LL BE A HOT TIME IN THE OLD TOWN TONIGHT

I'm back from tutoring. Two of the three kids brought their money for the month so I'm not broke anymore. I spent about $280 on drugs yesterday. I thought it would be cheap here for meds, but maybe not. I may have to do my drug shopping through a reputable online pharmacy. (Is that an oxymoron)?

I think payday is on Tuesday. I think everything is direct deposit but they will have to pay me in cash since I don't have a bank account and can't get one until I have my work visa. But since I have my tutoring money and I should have my visa in the next couple of weeks, I might let them just pay me later.

The tutoring class went well and I feel better. We used the book. Kelly photocopied some pages. I think the book is too difficult for them. Kelly said she will recommend some books to use and that would be fine with me. I asked the students if I was crazy or not. I wanted to know if we talked about using books last week and what they wanted to learn. They said we did, but they are now going along with one kid's mother on the best way to approach the class. Bottom line is if I get paid, I'm happy. I can do anything they want since they are 3 people who are there to actually improve their English so it's not a struggle to work with them.

Kelly suggested I give them homework tonight. I couldn't. It's Saturday, these kids have homework and long days every day, I'm not giving them Saturday night homework. They suggested homework after Sunday's class so they'd have all week. I'm okay with that. Some of these kids need to be kids and play. All life isn't school, nor should it be.

On the ride home, I asked Jack if he had plans tonight. I thought I could get a bar-hopping buddy. I think he said he was busy. (Who knows?). I got him to write down where I should get a taxi to, and he said there are lots of bars in that area. The English students were with us to translate so I think all was clear. So that was my plan.

I just had a call from Kelly. She told me 'they' (whoever they are) are going to Suncheon tonight to go shopping, to the Korean Sauna, and maybe to eat and told me I could join them. I complain enough about her, but it was thoughtful of her to call me. I asked wouldn't I be in the way or wasn't she sick of me. She assured me that I wouldn't be in the way or stop their fun. I told her she should say, "We'd love to have you join us". She laughed and said it wasn't the Korean way. In Korea if you invite someone, that means you want them to come. She said Americans sometimes exaggerated. I can't argue with that. So I will visit a Korean Sauna tonight. I hate Sauna's but it's a cultural experience I can't refuse. I hate getting naked in a group of men, or public showers, or whatever they have. I was told to bring my bathing suit so I really don't know what to expect, except it will be the unexpected.

I'm reminded of when I was a child and my father used to go to the steam bath on Sunday mornings. He would always ask me to go with him and I would always say no. Except one time I went and hated it. Sauna's are hot. Very hot. Too damn hot.

I really do appreciate being invited but I really need to expand my social circle such as it is. I did think I should say no, and just hit some bars but I really am not a bar-hopper. I think I'm going to have to do it one time.

Needless to see I don't feel as bad as I did before I left for tutoring. I just want a stable place for my mind. I would hate to see this turn into a test of my will to stick it out. It's just such an emotional roller-coaster now. At least I'm not crying. (A big thank you to the drugs).

I'll have a Sauna report tomorrow. I wonder if I can take a camera in and take pictures? However I'm worried that if I do, I may learn what happens to someone on the receiving end of Tae-Kwando.

IT'S MY BLOG AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO

I'm starting to feel a depression coming on. That's hard to believe based on the amount of anti-depressants I take. I'm not here to complain, but then again it's my blog and I'll complain if I want to.

I try to figure out what it is. The only thing I can come up with is that my life consists of work and my apartment with the occasional outing. Maybe I don't know what I want. I didn't' think I'd find it here (whatever 'it' is) but I thought I'd have fun. I keep telling myself to be patient, but it's not working that well.

I find myself being much more irritable. It's been a long time since I've been this easy to irritate. Sometimes I want to kill some of the kids. I really "hate" some classes. It's just so frustrating trying to get through to kids who don't listen and don't want to be there.

I have to control myself at times. I want to yell, but I don't. But I am doing what I think is a horrible thing. I'll insult some of the kids in English sort of under my breath. It releases some tension, but it's ignorant and stupid of me.

Yesterday I was told that the mother's of the kids I tutor on the weekend weren't happy. Kelly (of course) told me this. I asked why not. She told me it was because I wasn't teaching out of the book they wanted me to teach from. That was strange since last week I asked the kids if they brought a book and they said no. I asked them what they were here to learn and they said conversation. So it seems once again there is a failure to communicate. It seems to be the Korean way in my experience. I go to tutor shortly so I'll see what's up.

When I was talking to one of my classes yesterday about their plans for the weekend, one girl said she was excited about going out to eat spicy chicken. She then told me she would like to take me. I think she meant in the future. It's funny how I can feel so down and yet at the same time get a lot of enjoyment out of some of my interactions with others.

I must go out tonight. Where? I don't know. But I can't sit in here. It looks like it's bar city for me. Who knows what I'll see. I'd even be happy to talk to some foreigners like me.

Enough complaining for now. Who knows? Maybe the next post will be full of sunshine and light. (I try to fool myself at times).

MAYBE THERE IS A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

Kelly tells me she'll call me today before 10AM to arrange to take me to the doctors. I believe her. I believe that I can make a fortune buying swampland in Florida. At 11AM I called her because I was tired of waiting. She says, "I was just about to call you". Yes sir, get that swampland ready. She says she has to go somewhere and she'll meet me there at 2PM. She will call me a taxi and then call me and to be ready at 1:55PM because the doctor is close. At 2:10 she calls to say she can't get me a taxi and she's changed the appointment to 2:30 and she'll try to get me a taxi. At about 2:40 she calls to say the taxi will be here in a minute. I go downstairs and lo and behold the taxi is waiting for me.

I get to the doctor and Kelly is there along with the ever-present Miss Moon. (Why is she Miss Moon? She's married and has 3 kids). It's a different place today than the hospital yesterday. In fact, it seems like a doctor's office. So I think that wherever a doctor hangs out is called a hospital.

I go in with Kelly and she starts talking in Korean to the doctor. It's not that I don't trust her but if the doctor speaks or understands English I'd rather explain things myself. I ask the doctor if she speaks English. She says not really. I ask her if she understands English and she says she mostly does. So far, so good. She seems honest. I give a brief history of my medical story and explain the medications I take. When she's not sure about something she takes a book out and looks things up and shows me the book so I can see what dosages are available in Korea and what I can get. Holy Cow! A professional. We determine what they have, and she tells me that for some they don't have, they have equivalents. I trust her and will try them. She can't find 2 of the things I take and makes no pretense about knowing what they are. I like her better by the minute. I tell her I'll call my doctor in the States and find out what else I can get that would be the same.

She writes me the prescriptions I need and Kelly takes them to the pharmacy while I rush to school. When Kelly returns she tells me that they have to order some of them and I will have them tomorrow. I have run out of two of them so they better be there or I may be a little upset. (Especially since one of them is one of my anti-depressants).

You pay the doctor here when you go. This visit was about $11. Yesterday's visit to the moron was about $12. This is without medical insurance because I can't get that until I get my work visa. But I like the prices since 2 visits are still less than 1 visit in the States just using my co-pay on insurance.

I also learned today that I've been approved for my work visa. What this means is that I'm going to Japan soon. Kelly will have to go to Yesou to get my approval number, and then I have to leave the country to visit a Korean consulate and give them my approval number and they will issue me a work visa. Then I can return to Korea. I have no idea why I can't get a work visit in Korea. Japan is the closest place so I'll make what they call, "the visa run". I'm actually looking forward to that since I'll see a bit of Tokyo. I'll try to arrange it so I'm there over the weekend so it should be about 4 days in Japan. That sounds really cool to me and I feel like a world traveler. Maybe I am.

I got very sad for a little while at school today. I started missing Leah (I miss both my lovely daughters). But it was really nice to be able to stop in and visit Leah at work sometimes when we were both in Austin. And to be able to hang out with her sometimes. I really started to miss that badly. Every day seems to bring a new emotion.

In my 5PM class (the dumber group I work with on Tuesdays and Thursdays), I got really fed up with this one girl. I got Kelly to come in and give her hell which she did. The brat then kept her head on her desk for the class and wouldn't you know it, we actually had a class. Without her disrupting things I actually got the kids to talk a bit. Kelly said I should just use the book and have them read. I told her no. They hardly know any English so what's the point of reading if you don't understand any of the words. These kids know next to nothing. I wonder if all the English academies really don't teach English and just run babysitting services. Or maybe I just expect too much. I don't know. I do know that I won't rush through a textbook when no one understands what's being said.

I didn't eat lunch so I made a dash for the convenience store across the road before my 6PM class. I was chatting with 2 of the girls in the class and asked if they wanted to go with me and I'd buy them something. They said yes and seemed a little surprised that I invited them and offered to buy them something. I told them not to tell anyone so no one would be upset by my doing this. They understood and agreed. At the store one girl said she'd look for something cheap. These are very nice young ladies (about 15). I told them to get what they wanted but they chose one package of inexpensive gum. They are just so considerate and polite and thoughtful.

I work with that class from 6 to 7 and then from 7 to 8 they have grammar with someone else. When they left the school a couple of the girls came up to me and said, "be strong". I was confused so they explained that "be strong" in Korean means to cheer up. I didn't know I was depressed. Maybe they know more than me. Then one of the girls said, "I love you". I think that was meant as "I like you", but once again I was touched by just how nice and delightful they are. I think that if I feel the same about them in about a month, I'll take them out for dinner (the whole class). This is the class I went to dinner with my first night here. I tell them they're my favorite class and I think they're nice people. I would like to show them. They aren't all angels and I have to tell them to stop talking at times, but judging them as a "whole", they really are my highlight at school. I'll have to take some pictures of them to share.

Tomorrow I have one of my twice a week kindergarten classes. I'm dreading it already. They are so cute and are all over me like a cheap suit. But I have no control and I can't get angry with them. I just want to squeeze their faces. One girl hugs me all the time and smiles at me constantly. How can one get upset with that?

I need to get a life soon beside working and being in my apartment. I can't wait for Spring. I need to see some of this country. I also need to meet some people. If nothing pops up for this Saturday, I'm going to a bar. I don't care if I don't like hanging out in bars, I just want to be out with the people. (Of course, maybe the people will all be in their 20's, but everyone thinks I'm young).

Kelly says we start learning Korean on Monday. I told her that was great and I was looking forward to it. My memory is terrible so I wonder how much I'll be able to retain. A hello, please, and thank you would be a good start.

I will close now with a picture of a Korean bath towel. I put my backpack behind it so you can see just how big it is in comparison.

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?

I found a chocolate bar I like. Too much I think. I'm eating one now. I'm trying to keep it to just a couple a week. But some things are difficult.

I'd love some Hostess cupcakes too. I don't think about them a lot, but they do occupy a place in my heart and mind. I make do with these 'wagon wheel' things. I don't even know if they still make or sell wagon wheels. It's a small, round chocolate thing with white cake and marshmallow inside. It will have to do for my synthetic food cravings.

So today was to be my first day of Yoga. I was ready. I got up and got showered and got dressed in my new yoga clothes. I even had a piece of toast for breakfast. I was prepared. I walked there and it took eight minutes. About three of those minutes were spent at a stoplight waiting for it to change. It was drizzling a little but nothing was going to stop me.

I get to the building and go upstairs to the room. It's like a health club. Like the good wannabe Korean I am, I take my shoes off before entering. The person who took my money yesterday was at the front desk so I thought, "no problem, he'll remember me and that I paid". He remembered me. He spoke no English and he started to tell me something in Korean. Of course I didn't understand and I said something in English that he didn't understand. But I'll give him credit. I love when people try to communicate when they don't have the language. I do it all the time, and he was game. He pointed to the ground beside me and showed me a phone. AHA! He wanted me to phone the person who helped me sign up so he could translate for me. I tried to call but there was no answer. I gave the universal sign for S.O.L. (shrug of shoulders). That didn't deter him. He then went to a calendar on the wall and pointed at March 2nd. So I wasn't supposed to start until March 2nd. I said that in English and he confirmed it in Korean. (Or he told me to go kill myself, I don't know). So I went home without Yoga. I asked Kelly to call the Yoga club and see if I understood, and it seems I did. Good for me, but Yoga waits until next Wednesday.

My next big event was a doctor visit. I needed to get some medications quickly so Jack took me to the hospital. I was expecting a wait of several hours before seeing a doctor but it was only about 15 minutes. Jack told him some stuff. I showed him what I currently take and what it was for. It seemed he understood what I saying and that he could read English. We then left and Jack told me he would go back in about an hour and pick up the prescriptions and then go pick up the drugs for me. Too easy. Much too easy.

I told Jack I was hungry and he took me across the road to the local fast food hamburger place. It was no McDonald's. It wasn't as good. But I was hungry but I don't think I'll become a regular. I didn't choose the shrimp burger. There is a picture of my meal at the bottom.

I went to work and about an hour later Jack comes back with the sheet of prescriptions. According to this "doctor" a few of my medicines were not available. I don't believe him because they are common heart drugs. The prescriptions he wrote totally ignored the dosages they should have had. I was very annoyed and ready to hop on a plane. Again.

Kelly tells me the doctor's here know what they're doing and this isn't America. I tell her the doctor is an idiot and if he can't write down the proper dosage he's useless. She tells me I would have to get an examination. I thanked her for letting me know now instead of a couple of weeks ago. I also explained for the 50th time that I have been taking these meds for years and an examination isn't going to tell a doctor anything and that what I take works quite well. Why argue with success?

After this thrilling back and forth she figures out that she should go to the doctor with me and we can all work this out. Gee, pretty clever of her to finally figure that one out. So tomorrow it's another doctor's visit. I hope we see someone who didn't get their medical degree at Whatsamatta U.

My five o'clock class is hell. I have about 9 kids and about 7 different levels in there. I have one girl who is there to learn and is very good. I feel terrible for her being in a class with a bunch of jerks. No one tries. I have one kid who doesn't understand a word of English and he's been taking it for about 5 years. I asked the class if they understood what "understand" means? The consensus answer was "NO". I don't mind if they don't know anything, but I mind when they have no desire and make no effort. But in my informal survey every kid but one said they were there because their mothers made them go. It's nice to be at a school where there is such a high desire to learn.

My 9:00 class is just 1 woman of about 27. She is studying because she wants to work in International Trade. She goes to University (and learns business English) but she wants normal English. The books we use are inane but since I'm the "conversation" specialist, I talk to her. I enjoy it because I ask lots of questions and learn things. Tonight I can announce it's official. Korean people do eat dog. Not all of them (she doesn't), but some of them (her boyfriend does). I think they raise dogs (like chickens) to eat. And according to what she's heard, they're quite good.

HELLO! IS ANYONE HOME?

Yesterday was Monday and it was back to school. Oh joy! I had the kindergarten kids but I made Miss Moon start the class by getting them to sit. She then left and there was some semblance of organization. I really don't know how to teach little kids English. I suppose I should figure it out.

With my 5 o'clock class, where I'm convinced most of them don't like me, I asked them for suggestions on what to do to make the class interesting. They said they wanted to play Hangman. What the hell, I said sure. It was more fun than I thought it would be. I would pick words from their textbook to use. The kids kept looking in their textbooks to figure out the words but I told them to close their books. One boy kept trying to sneak a peek at his book so I jumped on the desks and started chasing him around the room. Actually it was quite funny and we all had a laugh. I hope this translates into them doing some work in class now and trying to pay attention. I doubt it. But I'll try.

When school finished I found out that my one student and myself were the last ones left in the school. Very nice. Everyone leaves, I don't know how to close up, I have no ride home, and I'm really angry at the rudeness and inconsideration. I called Kelly but there was no answer. The student helped me lock up and showed me where to get a taxi. One of the things that appealed to me about the job was that I was told it was a 10 minute walk to school. However, that's not quite true. It would be more like 40 minutes. What were these people thinking to take off and not say anything to me? I'll tell you. They weren't thinking. Now I have something else to complain about and figure out how to say it nicely. What I really want to say is "you thoughtless so and so".

I signed up for yoga this morning. Jack drove me there so I could see where it is. It really is only about a 7 minute walk so that's good. The classes are 5 days a week and it costs about $40 for the month. But there was no class today as the teacher's kid was sick. Tomorrow should be interesting when I go by myself knowing nothing. I'm actually looking forward to it.

I sometimes feel that I am spending more time working and having no life than I did in Austin. That wasn't the plan. I must stay patient. The next day or two is a big test of how I'll manage. I need some medications and I've given Kelly a list. She passed it to another teacher who works in a pharmacy to see if they are prescription drugs here which I'm sure they are. I asked Kelly what to do if they are prescription. She said I should go to the doctor. Boy, how clever. I reminded her that I didn't speak Korean and maybe the doctor wouldn't speak English. She said we'll talk about it today when we get the official prescription report. I'm sure what will happen is that Jack will take me to the doctor tomorrow to translate. Of course, if she found an English speaking doctor I could go by myself but that would require some planning and forethought. So forget about it.

My attitude changes from so-so to not so good. It better get better. I'm not really having fun, and I want to have fun. Of course when the weather is nicer (which should be soon) I'll get out of the city on some weekends and see things. I'm really not sure how I feel overall and I suppose I try not to think about it too much. I'll wait a little longer and then think about it. Maybe I'm Scarlett O'Hara. "I'll think about it tomorrow, because after all, tomorrow is another day".

Here are some fascinating bathroom pictures to share with you. Notice the spaciousness of it. I really am living in the lap of luxury (if luxury is a midget).

A TRIP SHOPPING -- ALONE!

Yes kiddies. Your intrepid hero went into the Home Plus alone. Home Plus is a Tesco supermarket (none in the States but lots in different places in the world), plus something like a department store. It's like a Super Target. Very clean (I think all the employees wear gloves). A wide variety of cheap clothing and things, a book store, a buffet like thing of something I think translates to food. Home Plus has linens, towels, electronics,cosmetics and a host of other things. I think it's open 24 hours a day.

I did my tutoring at 7AM. My plan was to hurry to the computer in the office and print a couple of news stories and have the kids read them and then we would discuss. Of course that plan died a quick death because the printer didn't have black ink. I went into panic mode and searched the shelves for anything to read. There were a couple of anthologies of literature so I chose a Hemingway story and gave out some pages. I said read and circle the words you don't understand and we'll discuss them. I don't think Hemingway is for Korean high school freshmen. Hell, Hemingway isn't for me. We managed to make it through the class and I'll be better prepared next week (like access to a working printer even if I have to buy one). We talked a bit about corporal punishment so I could be sure that's what the little kids told me. Yes. Elementary, middle school, and even high school suffer the stick. The teachers can't use their hands but the stick is quite a popular weapon. Sometimes they just keep knocking the students with the stick because they like to. It's so hard to get my head around that.

The kids also clean the school. No janitors. The kids have a cleaning period where they sweep and scrub. It took me a few minutes to get my chin off the floor. I of course think that's terrible, but I wonder if I think it's terrible because it's so foreign to me, or is it terrible because it's wrong regardless of culture? Please discuss and share your thoughts.

Then we went to my next favorite subject which is religion. Of the 3 kids I have one is Catholic, one is Presbyterian (I think because the accent is rough), and one who doesn't believe in anything. Christian religions make up more than 50% of the believers in Korea. There are quite a few non-believers in anything (my kind of folks). I in my ignorance thought they did the Buddha thing here. There are some Buddhists but it's a minority.

They asked me what I was so I told them Atheist but I was born Jewish. They didn't know what Jewish was. Sort of like East Texans. (Sorry, couldn't resist). I think I explained it in terms they understood. They know they study (the Christians) the "new testament". They know of Moses and the old testament. (Actually to me there is only one testament, and that's what the Christians call the old testament). There is no "new testament". It was just an advertising ploy. I also told them that they think Jesus is the messiah while the Jews are still waiting for the messiah. They found that quite interesting. Actually, maybe I'll teach Jewish history in this class. Jews aren't supposed to try and convert others but since I'm in Korea and an Atheist I might cheat. I'll start a Jewish revolution in Korea. Maybe the Koreans are the lost tribe and I found them. In all seriousness, they might find it interesting. And I need interesting things to talk about and to get them to talk. They are so damn quiet and shy I want to strangle them. The kid who was an exchange student speaks but the other two need to talk more. It's a challenge.

After class I asked Kelly's husband (who seems to have inherited the job of driver) to drop me at Home Plus and I'd get a taxi home. He seemed to understand that. I was a little worried he'd come in with me just to be polite and courteous. But he didn't and I was glad of that. I wanted to do something for myself.

When stuck, I would ask someone, "Do you speak English". The answer was usually a giggle or a blank stare. I did find some people who knew a few words so that helped. While looking for food I only would take packages that had pictures of a microwave oven with the directions. I only have one burner (I'm supposed to get a stove top last week). So it's microwave city for me, or fresh vegetables. I bought fabric softener which I have never used but when I go to iron my clothes it's like ironing a wrinkly box. I'm tempted to spend $35 on an iron which is way too much. But maybe it will help. I found a toaster oven for about $26 and went for that. How exciting. I can have melted cheese on toast. And I bought ice cream. It was a Korean brand. The Hagen-Daas was $12 for a pint or something like that. Just a tad high for me. The fridge is packed. Of course, it's so damn small it takes next to nothing to fill it.

I bought 2 pairs of track pants in preparation for my yoga classes. One pair was way too long but the person who was helping me said I could get them taken up at customer service for "no cash". I thought they would do it in seconds. But I was told it would take "1 time" to do the job. I think that meant 1 hour. I hope. So I got a taxi home (I have an envelope from some mail I got so I could show the taxi driver). It cost me about $2.20 so that wasn't bad. But I'll have to go back in one time to get my pants. So that's another $5 for taxis. I'll have to find one on the street because I can't phone for one. I'll take my camera and take some pictures to share with y'all. (I still have some Texan in me).

When I went out with Kelly's husband and Jack last night, they took me to the "film village" first. As far as I could understand, it's a movie set for a popular television show set in 1960. There were a lot of people there. It purports to recreate Seoul in 1960. It was very primitive looking. Of course I didn't have my camera. I wouldn't have minded a few questions.

At dinner I asked them where one like me (only English, no Korean) could meet Korean women. They will work on that idea (if they understood me). They did ask if 24 or 25 was okay I said yes. 23 was my bottom line because Elana is 23 and the thought of "going out" with someone younger than my daughter makes me feel like a criminal. 24 or 25 is quite intimidating too. I don't hold out much hope and it's not even a sex thing. I just relate better to women (it's my feminine side) and I wouldn't mind having some friends to hang out with occasionally. You know, dinner, a movie, a drink, something social. We'll see if a) they understood, and b) they're successful. I have asked Kelly the same thing but I also told her it should be someone with a car and money. I had written that in my list of things I wanted and she understood that it was a joke, so that was good. Although she did have a moment where she wondered if I was serious.

I think I'll head back to Home Plus now and get my pants. It seems like 1 time has passed. I'll take some dynamic pics and post them with this. And then I will fill my afternoon with my computer job I suppose. I don't anticipate any invites to go out, and I have no idea where to go yet. This is the week when I force that issue about places to go.

Be back soon. I hope.

I'm back. I hailed a taxi on the street and asked him to take me to Home Plus. No problem. I went in and saw a Baskin Robbins that I hadn't seen before so I treated myself to an ice cream. It was good. I wandered around snapping photos. I then went to get my pants. Not so easy. They had no idea what I was talking about. After plenty of motions back and forth they brought the pants out and said no charge (or motioned no charge). Good. I then leave the store to walk to the taxi stand and I see my first foreigner in Gwangyang. I say hello. She says hello. And then we walk in our separate directions. I could have kicked myself. I should made an attempt to speak to her. I was just so in shock that I was speechless. I considered running after her to find her when I recovered but I didn't want to scare her. I need to react quicker next time. I might have learned some valuable Gwangyang tips.

I got a taxi and I don't think the driver had a clue where I lived. I showed him my address in Korean but he looked confused. He asked if I lived in the housing for the big steel plant in town. I told him no. I had to give him directions to get here, and I wasn't too bad at it. So I'm safe in the bosom of my home kicking myself for missing an opportunity to speak with a foreigner who might have shed some light on where I am.

The first picture is my clothes drying rack. I thought you might like to see it. Then I have 4 pictures from the supermarket. I have lots more but I'll dole them out. The first is where I got my ice cream. The 2nd is where you choose the food you want from the plastic recreations. The 3rd one is people eating and the eating establishments the food comes from, and the 4th is just some of the delicious snacks you can get.

THE WEEKEND ARRIVES--SO WHAT?

Friday I went to school determined that I was tired of waiting for others to show me how to have a life. I would be more aggressive and not ask for things in a so friendly way, but in a more direct and somewhat demanding way. Life is not going to happen if I wait for it.

I will begin my Yoga classes next week. I'll start on either Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday. I can't find my track pants so I'll have to find some. I don't know where the yoga place is, so I'll have to get Kelly to either show me or tell me. At least she called them. The original place by the school was not my first choice as I would have to take a taxi there. She phoned me last night to say she found one about a 3 minute walk from where I live. And I'll be going on my own. It's 5 days a week so my upcoming serenity may actually make me comatose. Actually, I'm looking forward to doing something on my own and seeing some new faces.

I did nothing Friday night because by the time school finished for me (10PM), I didn't mind just going back to my apartment. I found some online places that teach Korean for free, so I can get a head start before my "official" classes with Kelly. I will still push the issue and not let it slip. Online is okay, working with a teacher is better.

She also told me that I can't have the van to use yet. I just assumed that my driver's license was good enough over here. No. You need a Korean driver's license or an International driver's license. Apparently I can get one through AAA, but their site has been down so I can't get at the place where I learn to go about it. When it comes back, I'll start on that. Naturally I'm disappointed that I won't be able to go out driving around on my own, but I do understand. I wouldn't give my vechicle to someone without a valid license either.

Today was my first day of my other job, privately teaching 3 kids. The class was from 2:30 to 4:00 and I'm going to hate it. (Yes, I know. My attitude stinks). Two of the kids are 16 and know some English but are too damn quiet. I thought I was tutoring excellent students. One of those kids is going to the States in August for 10 months as an exchange student. The 3rd student was in Virginia for 10 months 2 years ago and is 18 and he speaks pretty well. He wants classes so he doesn't forget his English. He's miles ahead of the other two, so instead of working with 3 kids on the same level, I have 2 levels. Nothing is ever easy. They all want to do conversational English, but I only have so many topics to discuss. I asked them to think up ideas for what we can talk about. One suggested reading an English paper and discussing the stories. It was a great idea except I don't know where to get one. There is a paper called the "Korea Times" which is a Korean paper in English. I am going to have to find out how to get copies. I also wouldn't mind a bookstore that sells English books (like short stories) so we can read and discuss. I don't know if there is one in the area but I'll find out if there is somewhere online I can order a couple and get them shipped quickly and cheaply.

Tomorrow the class is at 7AM because I don't want to do it in the middle of the day, and I can't do it at a better time like 9AM because one of the kids goes to church. I have no idea what I'll be doing.

Last night another situation with the tutoring came up. The mothers want the school to provide transportation. Kelly doesn't really want to because it costs money and she doesn't want to ask anyone to work on the weekends. The parents won't pay for fuel. So who do they come to? Yes sir, it's me. I am going to pay the school about $20 a month for these kids to get to school. And I offered to actually do the driving but this was before anyone realized I can't drive here yet. So Kelly is stuck having someone drive them, and I'm stuck paying the $20. The amount isn't much but it's the principal of the thing. I guess principals here are different than in North America. As my mother used to say, "Give them an inch, they want a mile".

I learned from some of my students that the teacher's hit them in class. For example, they carry a stick and if the child didn't do the homework (or some other crime) they tell the child to hold out their hand and they whack it. When I learned this I told the kids I thought it was wrong. I wonder if all Koreans are so enamored of hitting. I think it's ridiculous and I don't mind saying so.

In another class I asked everyone's religion. I got answers of Catholic, Christian, believe in Jesus, and believe in myself. They asked what I was and I told them Atheist. I tried to explain about the separation of church and state and how in some places in the States (do I hear East Texas) people want you to believe what they believe. I don't know how far I got with that explanation. I think I'm looking to start a revolution.

Kelly's husband drove the kids and I to school today, and then after school I went with Kelly's husband (who is nameless to me at the moment) and Jack (the one who helps at the school and is Kelly's husband's friend) to Sucheon. It was very nice of them to ask me along although I'm sure Kelly asked or told her husband to. He speaks very little English (a word here and there) and Jack speaks a little but he says he understands about 90% of what I say. We went to the movie theatre to check show times and get tickets. Out of the 9 cinema's there, all 9 were showing Korean films. So we went to another one and they were showing "Firewall" with Harrison Ford. In the U.S. I wouldn't have gone to the show to see that, but I must confess I did enjoy it. It was exciting. And best of all, I didn't cry. My Korean pals also enjoyed it but they talked a little too much in the movie.

Before the movie we went to get something to eat. It was at that great Korean food chain, Pizza Hut. I'm not complaining. It was nice to eat something that I didn't have to work at getting down my throat. When we were discussing what kind of pizza to order, I did veto the one with sweet potatoes on it. We compromised on ham and pineapple. Not my first choice, but it was very good. (If I was in the States, it would have been rated so-so).

We got back to Gwangyang around 9 and although I was planning on going to a bar tonight to check one out, I was just too tired. Plus I have to get up at 6 for my lesson.

When I went out this morning to get my baguette around the corner, the man in the store recognizes me so he doesn't try to put the free tub of cream in with it anymore since I've motioned to him that I don't want that. Today he added a pastry to it. I thought that was quite nice as he didn't have to throw anything in. When I know a few words of Korean, these local guys whose shops I frequent are going to be shocked when I speak to them in Korean. That is, after they pick themselves off the floor from laughing so hard at my accent.

I don't know what I'll do tomorrow after my exciting time talking English from 7 to 8:30. I think I'll take a taxi to the supermarket and do some shopping and get some track pants. The weather still isn't warm enough to just walk around and besides, I have no idea where anything is. Next week I force Kelly to get me a bus schedule and map in English. No more asking and waiting. I believe in being polite, but sometimes you just have to be aggressive. So I'll be serene with my yoga and aggressive with my needs.

I took some pictures of my kitchen today. I know some people are curious about this cubbyhole I call "home", so I thought I'd give them out bit by bit. I don't know if you can really understand how small it is because I couldn't get far enough back to get the whole thing in properly. But notice how close the refridgerator and the washing machine are? That should give a clue. Enjoy.

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

Okay, I confess. Some days I wonder just what the hell I was thinking. Today was one of them. I went for lunch at a Korean restaurant (more floor sitting and practicing my chopstick use) with Kelly, Miss Moon (that's the secretary), 2 of her kids, and her husband (who I suppose is Mr. Moon). It was a meat restaurant so they bring the uncooked meat (pork I think) to the table and the people grill it at the table themselves. Besides all the other side dishes I have no interest in eating, they brought these big lettuce leaves. You put the meat in the leaves (if you want) and wrap it and eat it. It wasn't bad. So here is another restaurant picture even if it's somewhat blurry:

Of course, I didn't talk much because no one spoke to me. It was Korean talk. Kelly and Miss Moon talk a lot to each other. It's nice that they're such good friends but I feel like the invisible man. I may start turning down the invitations because I suppose I don't like being ignored.

After that it's time for school. The kindergarten kids were wild. They wouldn't listen or sit or anything except run around. I just sat on the floor and let them do their thing. The fact is that I can't teach foreign children who have no English skills while I have no Korean language skills. As Strother Martin said in "Cool Hand Luke", "What we have here is a failure to communicate". Boy, were these kids hyper. I later told Kelly that I won't teach them unless there is a Korean there to tell them to sit down and pay attention. I'm told to only try and teach them for about 20 minutes and then let them color or write or kill each other. Who knows. But they are cute. Here are a couple of them:



The 5PM class wouldn't read or do anything. The silence was deafening. It they don't talk I have no idea what they know or how to approach them. By the end of that class I had another "What am I doing here" moment. I know everyone wants to work with the "good" kids, but I think they need to use me there. The ones who are slow learners or don't give a damn need someone to talk to them in Korean.

In my 6PM class (which I like), I had one girl hiding behind her book talking on her cell phone. I was shocked. I took her out of class to let Kelly deal with her. I was later told that basically the girl is brain-dead and had no idea she was doing anything wrong. I feel bad for her, but let's be real. Are we running a school or a kindergarten? I can't answer that one yet.

The school is freezing. They have heaters but I'm always cold. It seems the only things I like is when I can talk a bit with the kids. Just try and have a normal conversation. That is truly a good thing.

In my 6pm class I told them at the start that I was in a bad mood. I then explained what mood meant. When they went home after their 2nd class there (without me) 2 of the girls came up to me and told me to "cheer up". You can't find much better people than that. I was quite touched that they remembered what I said about my mood, and made the effort to tell me in English to cheer up. One of the girls said the other one wanted to give me a hug. I think she was just being a trouble maker (in a nice way). There were no hugs given.

So sometimes I think I'd rather be back in Austin and at other times (like the example above), I feel that I'm gaining so much just by knowing these kids. I know I need patience because I'm still in the adjustment stage. I admit I do get very lonely at times. It's strange because I've spent a lot of my life feeling alone, but I'm really feeling it at times now. Probably because I finally learned how to talk to people and am not so afraid of speaking to strangers anymore, or getting to know new people.

I know the world is a small place but sometimes Korea feels so far away. I'm sure this will pass as I get accustomed to things. I will get signed up for a yoga class tomorrow. There is one across from the school but the class is 5 days a week. That might be too much. There is one that twice a week that I'll get the times they run checked out. Supposedly Kelly and Miss Moon want to do it too. I didn't want to say to them that they can't, but to be honest I'd rather do it myself. I figure this is something that I don't need to know Korean to do. I can just mimic people. And who knows, maybe they'll be some people who speak a little English.

I have no plans as of yet for this weekend but I'll do something. I think I tutor at 2:30 on Saturday and 7AM on Sunday. So Saturday night I'm going out even if it's to sit in some bar. Sunday I'll borrow the van and go driving in the area and get lost somewhere. I can't wait for people to beat down my door and show me things. I'll just have to take matters in my own hands.

I'm told that a decent used small car would cost about $2000 so I'm thinking about it. It would mean some freedom. Gas here is very expensive though. It's about $5.25 per gallon for unleaded by my calculations. I would have to get a diesel car because fuel would ONLY be about $4.25 a gallon.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? None of us, that's who.

AN AMERICAN BUFFET IN SUCHEON

So I'm standing downstairs at 11:30 waiting for Kelly who assured me she would be here at 11:30 and I always believe what people tell me. At 11:45 she phones to say she was talking to her parents on the phone and she was leaving right then and would be there in 5 minutes. I suppose 5 minutes means 15 minutes in Korea. But all in all just one half hour late. A major improvement!

We went to Sucheon and went into the department store for the "American Buffet". If American buffet means real tables, real chairs, forks, and knifes then it was an American buffet. However, the food looked Korean to me. They did have spaghetti so I had that. I must admit the pineapple and oranges I had for dessert were quite good.

We then went to the English book store to look for books for teaching the children. There are so many. I had no idea what was good and what wasn't. As a native English speaker they all look simple to me. But I admit the titles of the different kinds of grammar are beyond me. My grammar is fairly good, but I don't know what to call it. I just picked some and I hope they are fine.

As the school day wore on she realized that at 8:00PM that I had to be in 2 different classes. She asked me if I would do one of them at 9. Nice guy that I am, I said yes. Now it seems that for the rest of February I'll be working until 10. I'm not thrilled about that, but I will do it for February and if it happens in March I'll speak up. Life is a give and take. In this case I'm giving and trying to help and be a "team" player. It's a far cry from sitting at home working on the computer.

BACK TO THE WORK ROUTINE

On Monday some of the kids asked me if we celebrated Valentine's day. I told them yes but I was quite surprised they did here. I think they wanted me to bring them chocolate but I told them to bring me some. It's great when I can have these conversations and joke around with the kids. It's one of the reasons I did this. They learn to speak English and I learn from them. Kids are fun and interesting.

On Tuesday morning (this morning) I was supposed to take a drive to Yeosu with Kelly so she could submit my papers for my Visa. She told me she would call me between 10 and 11 to go. I am so gullible. She calls about 12:30 to say she just woke up and sent someone else to go. I was disappointed and a little annoyed. But I'm catching on. She told me she would get ready and come and get me to take me around town a little and to go to the bank as I needed to cash some money.

She calls 5 minutes later to tell me she is having a problem with her car and someone who helps out at the school will come and get me and take me to the bank. Then we will meet at the school with the secretary (I must learn her name) after I go to the bank. So "Jack" picks me up. I asked his name but of course I couldn't pronounce it. It seems that most people here have an "English" name. A lot of times they are just assigned one by their English teachers. What a stupid thing I think. What gives a teacher the right to name a child who is not theirs? I asked one of the students how her name was chosen. She told me the teacher had a list of English names and picked one. I need to learn to move my mouth so I can pronounce their real names properly. I hate this English name thing. I asked some of my students today to give me a Korean name. They kept changing their minds so I asked them to have one for me tomorrow. It makes more sense for me to have a Korean name in Korea than for them to have an English name in Korea.

Jack (that's what his English name is) spoke a little English. As far as I understand he helps at the English academy, he teaches math in some of the schools, he was a Captain in the army (now retired), and he's moving to Miami in August to go to school again to study Industrial Engineering. He's 32. I asked him how long he planned to go to school in the States for and he said, "10 years". I'm not sure he understood me.

We went to lunch (the nameless secretary, Jack, Kelly, and me) at another typical Korean restaurant. I had some soup with vegetables and pork and sausage in it and a bowl of rice. I'm trying to adapt. The soup was tasteless so I put salt and pepper in it and it helped. The vegetables were good, the pork was edible, and the sausage was horrible so I ignored it. I tried eating the rice with my chopsticks and Kelly told me I looked silly doing it. I hope she was being funny. I tried and then ate my rice with my spoon. But I survived lunch. Of course I had to sit cross legged on the floor while eating. It does take a toll on your back. I asked what old people do. Do they get on the floor and I was told that some of them can get a table and chairs. Sometimes I suppose it's good to be old. Here is a picture of Jack, Kelly, and the nameless secretary at the table:

At school today some of the kids did give me chocolate. That was very nice of them. I must admit I still like these kids. There are all kinds. Some know nothing in English and never will. Others work hard or just have a knack for it. One of my kids (the nameless secretary's daughter) is a real doll. I ask her a question and she always starts talking to me in Korean. It cracks me up.

The stereotype we have of Oriental children is wrong. I imagined well-behaved children who sat at their desks with their hands folded and listening raptly to the teacher. Wrong! They are like North American children I think. The younger ones keep getting up and many talk while others are talking. I keep telling them it's rude, but I say it in a nice way. Then I raise my voice and they listen for a few minutes. But I see a lot of potential. It will be interesting to see how it all unfolds.

The school seems very disorganized at the moment. Today I went to go to what I thought was one of my classes and was told to go to a different class. I was so confused. I think I'm the conversational teacher so I am to move around. The Koreans teach grammar. But they talk too much Korean in English class. I think the kids would be better being forced to listen to English. I use my lousy drawing and acting to try and make myself understood. Kelly came into my kindergarten one day and started explaining things in Korean. I asked her to not do that anymore. She said she was worried I would get tired of trying to explain in English but I told her I wanted to do it that way. The kids would catch on. She agreed to leave me to my methods (such as they are).

I will also be doing some private teaching of some older kids who want special tutoring. One of them is going to America in August (Houston I think) as an exchange student and another was in America for a year and doesn't want to forget what he learned. Kelly got me the work and takes no commission or anything which is nice of her. She earns a free dinner at a nice restaurant for that one.

Tomorrow we are supposed to go to Sucheon to eat at an inexpensive American style buffet (I am scared to imagine it) and to look at English books for the kids. I'm to meet her downstairs at 11:30. I wonder if she'll show up. At least now I know that she might not, because that's just the way it goes.

MY WORST DAY (SO FAR)

Saturday February 11th was my worst day so far. Kelly asked me on Friday if we could have a meeting to discuss the classes and the schedule at 1pm on Saturday. I said yes. By the end of Friday the time was changed to 2pm. On Saturday she called and changed it to 3pm. We got to the school at 3:30 and talked for about 3 minutes. Then she talked on her phone. At 4pm to 7pm she had to teach (it was a make up day for a holiday) so I just got to sit there and twiddle my thumbs. I was not happy. And when I'm not happy I tend to verbalize in unpleasant ways. But I was good and kept my mouth shut.

She asked me if I wanted to go with her friend (who I think is the school secretary) and her friend's kids into Sucheon to see a movie or go shopping. I said yes because I will do anything. She said she wasn't going to see a movie but I could go to one by myself if I wanted or go with the kids. This sounded good to me.

During the drive she talked to her friend and I was pretty much ignored. There were no movies I wanted to see (they only were showing 2 American movies and a bunch of Korean movies which I'm sure were wonderful) so I went to the market with them. It was like a Super-Walmart except bigger and cleaner and with nicer things. She then left me to go look at things while I did some grocery shopping. Not nice. I don't read Korean. I don't understand Korean. I don't speak Korean. You don't dump a foreigner somewhere and take off.

I did as best I could and when I got too confused I called her and asked her to meet me and help me for a few minutes. She seemed surprised I was asking but she came. I am even a more unhappy person at this point but I keep it inside me. After the groceries she asks if I want to go to the next floor with her and her friend. I said yes. She then starts towards women's clothing and I follow. I'm in a new country and everything interests me. She tells me it's not really appropriate for a man to be in women's clothing and to go look somewhere else. So I do. I find a few things I need but after a while I need some help. I look for her but I can't find her. So I found a bench and sat there waiting. I wasn't going to call her again. She phoned finally and asked where I was. I told her and I told her I needed some help. She said, "Why didn't you call me"? HA HA! I told her I didn't want to bother her. I was just so angry because I thought it was quite rude to just talk to her friend and ignore me, and to dump me in a supermarket where I can't read. I didn't say anything but I don't think I've been that angry in a long time.

Needless to say I've gotten over it. I know I'm in a foreign culture and I have to adapt to their ways, they don't have to adapt to my ways. But rudeness is rudeness. Forget culture. I'm not really her guest but in a way I am. It's my job to be the best teacher I can be and to work hard at it. It's her job to pay me and to help me get settled. Helping me get settled so I can be independent should be one of her top priorities. I hate having to always ask for help. I haven't even been given a tour of the city so I can just walk in my area for now. I need to know bus schedules and routes and what there is and so on. She knows. I'll just have to bug her to get the information for me.

Another culture difference that I say is wrong is that Koreans think it's okay to hit their kids. I say it's only out of the parent's frustration that you hit your kids. I told this to another teacher at the school. He was telling me he can't hit the kids in the school but he can hit his own kids. Wonderful! I asked Kelly about this and she said she sometimes hits her kids.

I need to get independent. Kelly said she will teach me Korean. She has children's teaching materials she bought for her kids that cost her a small fortune. She'll use them on me. I need to know some basic Korean to survive. I will have to bug her to make a set time for these lessons. I can't express how much I dislike having to ask for everything. I feel so helpless about certain things. I can walk around my neighborhood and buy bread and things but that's it. I know it will get better but for now I'll just have to be patient.

By the end of Saturday I was ready to get on a plane and go back to Austin. Kelly said she would call on Sunday to do something. She never called but told me on Monday that she was sick and stayed in bed all day. I didn't mind and just hung out in my cubbyhole apartment. I think I needed a break.

GOING MY WAY OR THE GWANGYANG WAY

The first thing that struck me at the airport as I stood in line to check in for my flight to Seoul was that most people were Korean. I know that sounds silly but when you're used to being in the white majority (even if you are Jewish), it's strange to be the minority. I think the fact that I was surprised by all the Koreans gives some indication of my preparation for all this.

It was a non-stop flight from Toronto to Seoul of around 14 hours. Luckily I had an aisle seat with no fat people or smelly people beside me. And they didn't talk to me which was good because I don't like talking on airplanes.

When they brought the dinner around they asked if you wanted "Korean Food" or meat. Being the adventurous sort and looking at my neighbour's Korean food, I said meat. Mistake. I think the Korean would have been better.

I was pleased that it was the quickest 14 hour flight I'd ever been on. I arrived in Seoul about 4:30AM their time on Tuesday. Monday disappeared but I didn't miss it. After all, who likes Mondays? I then had to change airports to get a domestic flight to Yeosu which is about 30 minutes from Gwangyang. I managed without difficultly to get my baggage, go through customs, and transfer to the bus. Korea would be a snap.

Wrong. My flight was cancelled. It was scheduled for 8:30AM so they booked me on the 11:30 flight. They said to come back to the desk at 10:30 to see if the flight would go. So my luggage and I got to check out the airport. And like any good airport, what I found is in the picture below:


Of course, my next flight was cancelled too. I called the director of the school (Kelly, female) and told her and she asked me to call her back in 20 minutes. I did. It seemed that a lot of flights in the country were cancelled because of weather so I took the bus from Seoul to Gwangyang. What fun! I took a bus from the airport to near the bus terminal. Then I went to the bus terminal but the only problem was I has 3 suitcases, a knapsack, and my laptop. It's snowing and freezing and I'm lost. What fun!

I asked someone where the bus terminal was and he told me. He saw me struggling with my bags and asked if he could help me. I was shocked. He took me and a bag to the bus station and made sure I got in the right line. I was so impressed. I felt very positive about Koreans right away. So I had a 4 hour bus ride and when I got here, the director said it was a very special day. I said, "Why"? And she said it never snows and it was snowing. What a thrill. I missed Austin already.

They brought me to my apartment and I walked in and laughed. I knew things were smaller here, but I expected something bigger than a car. It's tiny. One room (no bedroom) that has a closet, a bed, and a small table. The kitchen has a mini-fridge and a mini-washing machine.

Kelly (the school director) asked me if I wanted to go for dinner because she made a reservation at Pizza Hut so I could meet some of the kids. I said yes but I wanted a shower first. I opened the bathroom door and said, "where is the shower"? There was a shower hose attached to the wall. You just stand on the floor in the bathroom and the water hits the floor which tilts towards the drain. It's so damn small. Then I asked where the towels were. She said, "right here". They were 2 tiny hand towels. I said, "do people really use these to dry themselves"? She said yes. I have since bought a couple of bath towels. What is interesting is the way apartments are heated. There are no vents. The floor gets the heat. It's weird. Sometimes I feel like I've got hotfoot.

At dinner the kids brought me presents that they had got me as a welcome gift. I was so embarrassed. One kid gave me soap, another toothpaste, another gave me money, and I got some chopstick stands and other stuff. It was very nice. And it was nice of them to pick Pizza Hut so I wouldn't get scared.

This is an adjustment. I hate the cold. The kids are nice though. I don't hate any of them. Yet. My little kids (kindergarten) cracks me up. Today they were all over me hugging me and chattering away in some foreign language (I think it was Korean). Then they made a tent and we all went in it and one kid brought out cookies and snacks. I just played with them. I wanted to take them home they were so cute (and there are probably laws against it). Some of the classes have no idea about English. I would say what page in the book are you on and they would say something like 68. So I would ask questions from things on page one and they look at me with blank stares. I have no idea what they've been taught.

It seems like the English academy business is good. They got a lot of new students signed up this week. I think having a foreign teacher in a small town is a big selling feature. That is until I get mad and throw one of them out the window. It is a nice change to be working with kids. I like when we can just talk. It's good for them because they are forced to talk in English and it's good for me because I learn about life here. The kids have been on vacation from real school for about 6 weeks. They get a six week vacation in the winter and about 4 weeks in the summer. The new school year starts in March.

I got my Internet today and I think it might be too slow. The problem is I have to do everything through Kelly because I don't speak Korean. I hate having to depend on others. She's very nice though. She gave me a cell phone (but of course I pay) and she just tries to make sure I'm taken care of until I get settled. But she does talk on the phone a lot.

I had dinner at a restaurant the other night. No chairs. You sit a mini-tables. I think I am going to take a yoga class and limber up some. The other picture is me sitting on the floor in my coat at dinner because it's cold.

PREPARATION FOR LEAVING AMERICA

I left Austin on February 1st to visit family in Toronto before leaving for South Korea (which I'll call Korea for short). It wasn't too bad a visit because I was only there for five days so I was always busy. I had to stay at my Aunt's house because my mother is staying there until she finds a place of her own. It was strange to not be at my parents house. My father is in a "home" now because it's too much for my mother to look after him. He really doesn't know anyone and rarely can make a complete sentence, but I think on one of my visits he did say my name. I can't be sure but my mother thinks she heard it too. Who know what goes on in his head but the man in the home is not really my father. He's an alien who has stolen my father's body and mind.

I told myself when I went to visit him I wouldn't cry and would control myself. I managed to stay calm but my eyes watered a lot. No one said life is fair, but what's happened to him is the ultimate in unfairness.

I saw the lovely Elana (my older daughter) twice and that was great. It's difficult living in Texas while she lives in Oakville. I don't imagine living in Korea will be any easier. It's probably Elana's "fault" that I went to Korea. She was going to come here for a year to teach but she didn't. I suppose the idea remained planted silently in my mind.

My mother seemed in good spirits which was good. It's been a hellish few years for her. But she's tough and she has gone through many changes. Most of them for the better. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you have no choice.

When I left Austin, I left everything in my apartment there as my lease isn't up until the end of February. When I went to Toronto I still wasn't 100% sure I'd come to Korea. My daughter Leah (who is my baby) has a fiancee who was having a biopsy for a lump in his neck. If the results were bad, I would return to Austin. If everything was fine, I was Korea bound. Everything was fine which was a huge relief to everyone who knows and cares about Taylor. I left everything in my apartment in case I returned. Since I didn't I left a mess for Leah. I told her she could keep whatever money she got from anything she sold. And as a special plug, be sure to visit www.vacant.cc to read about her.

My flight to Korea was and did happen on February 5th at 11:50PM.

BACKGROUND TO THIS LIFE CHANGE

My baby was kind enough to get me started on this site doing a blog of my misadventures. My memory is bad but I think this was Laura's idea so if you don't like what you read, find her and shoot her. It's called the "Dick Chaney Game".

Here I am in South Korea. Gwangyang yet. WTF! How did I end up here? Where did it begin? I figure I'll start with the background.

Actually before the background, a disclaimer. I am responsible for all my actions. Nothing is meant to imply blame for anything on anyone. I believe we are all responsible for our lives and our decisions be they right or wrong.

When I think of what I was doing 1 year ago and where I am today I am just overwhelmed with shock. I lived in Tyler, Texas and had been living there for over nine years after coming from Canada. (I'm a Canadian). I worked from home. I was married at the time for over 25 years. I have 2 beautiful daughters (23 and 20) who lived away from home. Sounds like the good life, right? In some ways it was. In other ways there was something lacking that I chose to ignore for a long time, but slowly it crept into my thoughts.

I think it began with my father getting Alzheimer's disease. This is without a doubt the worst thing I have ever seen. I have always loved and appreciated my parents and to see this wonderful and kind man who would never say a bad word about anyone slowly begin to lose his mind was quite devastating. Because my parents live in Toronto and I lived in Texas I didn't see day to day changes, but the big changes on my visits (3 to 5 times a year). He kept getting worse and I kept hoping against hope that one day he would snap out of it. I know that's denial but I had a very difficult time accepting it. I found myself either crying or on the verge of tears every day. I was terrified to phone my mother and ask about my father because there would be no good news. I felt awful (not a strong enough word) for my mother because after 50 years of marriage it's not what you expect. And the worst thing about it is you can't do anything to make it better. You just endure it.

I think this was the start of a slide downhill I took. I began to think about things and my life a little more. Was I satisfied? Did I want to spend the rest of my life in front of my computer screen? What did I want? And where did my largest responsibilities lie? Were they to others or to myself? Those are tough questions and can make you a somewhat unstable. Of course on the outside you're showing your mask, but on the inside you're just plain confused and in turmoil.

I really didn't feel there was anyone I could talk to or who would understand. But who really understands other people? My wife was and is a good person but she couldn't relate to me when I felt this way. I needed to talk and vent and work it out. She was content in her life and couldn't really relate to what I was going through. Of course, I could have been more forceful in letting her know just how important sorting all this out was to me, but I didn't. I like others to do things without me having to ask. That is not always the best way.

Due to incredible flukes of timing I came in contact with a woman I'd known for 35 years but hadn't spoken to in 24 years. We had a relationship back in the 70's. So in a way it was someone I knew but didn't know. And when you don't know someone all your stories and situations are new and they listen. It's not real life, but the attention is good and makes you feel that someone understands. Do they really understand? Probably not, but I only chose to see the surface.

One thing led to another and I found myself running off to Spain with her. It was without a doubt the worst thing I've every done to anyone in my life. My wife didn't deserve my total disregard for her feelings. If I wanted to leave home, I should have left and then did whatever I wanted to do. But no, I went at it ass backwards. It is quite humbling to learn how selfish and thoughtless one can be. I didn't leave for the "other woman", I was leaving because of some yearning I had for a new life and a new adventure. There is no right or wrong in this. There is only right and wrong in how you handle it. I failed at handling it and hurt many people who I hope one day can forgive me my thoughtlessness and see it as an anomaly and not the sum of my life.

My little Spanish adventure earned me a divorce. I saw the other woman a few more times (she lived in England) as I went there for a month, and she came to the States for a month. Promises and wishes were shared but to make a long story short, she couldn't handle a long distance relationship and find out what may happen.

I left Tyler and moved to Austin. My younger daughter was very kind to me and if not exactly forgiving of me, she treated me respectfully as her father. She did things for me and was just great to be around. I got to know her much better than I did and that was a fabulous experience for me. I enjoyed just being out driving and stopping in where she worked to say hello. It's not often one has the opportunity to do that.

I had some dates and dating after 25 years of marriage is weird. But it wasn't as horrible as I thought. I imagined I would be quiet and not say anything. But I can talk and I forced myself to be social. Life is a never ending learning experience as it should be. If you don't take advantage of the opportunities to try and learn new things, and to learn from your mistakes then life is pointless. (Just my viewpoint).

I met a very nice woman in Austin who was unlike anyone I had ever had a relationship with. I have always found myself attracted to "needy" women with "problems". I wanted to save them but I finally learned you can't save other people. This woman didn't have a boatload of problems but had suffered real tragedy in her life and had come out the other side not bitter, not self-obsessed, but level headed and a good person. It seems that the people with the smallest problems bitch the most, but those who have suffered real pain don't complain very much if at all.

So I have a new life in Austin, learning how to be social in the world, getting to know my daughter better, when I have a brilliant idea. Why not move to some foreign country where I know nothing and teach English. I had that idea a little over a month ago and here I am in Gwangyang. I felt compelled to try something new and to have an adventure. I'm 50 and that really doesn't mean anything. I got off on the idea that not everyone could do what I was doing. To people who have never been anywhere, the world is a big place. To those that have traveled the world is a small place. I've traveled a lot so I think it's a small world.

I sent out resumes to China, Korea, and Taiwan. I accepted a position in Gwangyang because the director of the school sounded like a good person on the phone interview, and the size of the city was about 150,000 and I didn't want a big city like Seoul. Of course the problem with the small city is a smaller pool of English speaking Koreans to get to know. And I don't speak or read any Korean. In fact, it wasn't until after I accepted the job that I bothered to look at a map and see where Korea was. I can be impulsive. It is just so strange to think about the contrast between now and a year ago.

So that's a brief sketch of the background, warts and all. I'm just a person who isn't sure what he wants out of life, but would like to see and learn about new things. I have no idea what the future holds, but the Korean adventure is now. I'll bring you up to date on what's been happening so far with the next post. (And hopefully it will be shorter than this one).

The beginning!

I love you, Poppy!





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