ARE LINES IN THE SAND DYNAMIC?

I suppose they are. You never know which way the wind will blow and blur the line you thought was there. Maybe you think there are only 2 choices and something happens that brings up a 3rd choice. A relationship isn’t just an emotional exercise but it’s an intellectual one also. When there is good and bad you have to weigh them in your heart and mind, and somehow try and divine a future.

It was a good and rational talk that Saeyoon and I had last night. I think she suffers a bit from a fear of succeeding and I sometimes suffer from being a damn fool. No one is perfect. Our relationship is strange in that we lapse into petty arguments so easily and yet light up at the sight of each other. I don’t want to try and save her from herself (if she needs saving), I just hope that what I see in the core of her is the reality and not just what I want to see.

I have to take so much into consideration. There is the cultural difference. There is the fact that she has the burden of speaking only English with me. There is the immaturity and always living at home factor. There is my perception that she’s never had a “true love” relationship. There is my tendency to be overly sensitive. I know some people say, “is it worth it”? Why not? If what I see as her is really her and we work through these other issues then we’ve built something. If we fail, we fail honestly and have at least made the effort. Obviously I think it’s worth it.

I felt comfortable and at peace driving her home last night. She wasn’t committing to anything but had a lot to think about. I believe I know what she should do but it’s her decision to make. But all indicators were positive.

Then she read Elyse’s comment and shot first before asking questions. Elyse loves me and only wants me to be happy. In a way she’s a mother hen who seems to strike out at anyone she thinks isn’t being nice to me. It’s sweet. I understand this. Saeyoon didn’t. I talked to her this morning and told her that it wasn’t important what Elyse said because she is only worrying about me. Tonight Saeyoon was teetering on the edge of calling it quits because a member of my family didn’t like her.

Did Elyse do anything wrong? No. Saeyoon wants me to be happy and reading what Elyse wrote made it look like Saeyoon was making me unhappy. She doesn’t want that. Relationships can be pretty volatile before they stabilize.

We talked some more and ironed things out. It’s unfortunate because I believe that Saeyoon is a quite nice and likeable person. I think even Elyse would like her. Reading what I write sometimes only contains the negative which leaves a false impression.

The bottom line is I’m happy being with Saeyoon. Sure I complain. It doesn’t make everything all bad. Nothing is all good. However, the good far outweighs the bad in our relationship. I can’t help thinking there is something special there. Every one of these forks in the road we come to, or doomsday scenarios, seem to work out for the better.

I believe that things are on the road to stabilization. I believe that something good will come of all this. I tried discussing it with my psychologist today and she didn’t really give me a reply or any insight. It’s all in my hands. Or, I should say our hands.

Here’s a picture of Miss Diana, my psychologist.


Actually this is a girl I tutor who doesn’t speak, or when she does it isn’t above a whisper. I can’t say it’s much fun. The time with her drags and drags. So today I just started talking about my life at the moment. She didn’t understand a word I said but I felt better just talking.

I have a terrible cold. I have the shakes, a fever (I think), and am coughing uncontrollably. Last night was terrible because I kept waking up coughing my lungs out. Tonight will be more of the same. Tutoring wasn’t easy because when I talk, I cough. If I was working at a big company I would have called in sick. But since there is no company income if I don’t tutor I suppose nothing short of death will keep me at home.

My middle school girls are in the midst of intensive studying for exams. The study period is three weeks which means they go to academy 7 days a week for studying and self-study. They are kind of whipped already and aren’t in the mood to learn more. Combining that with me not being in the mood to teach works out well. Here is a picture from today’s class.


They are playing with some modeling clay. We had fun. I like to think of it as “free talking” so I’m earning my keep. I do enjoy their company and I think they like me so it works out well.

Overall the job isn’t challenging. Teaching simple English doesn’t exactly float my boat. But I’m not going anywhere yet. I won’t switch jobs again, and the job is a means to an end and the end is the Saeyoon mystery. I’ve always been a person who worked to live, and not lived to work. I guess it’s no different regardless of the country.

IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT KNOWING WHEN TO HOLD AND WHEN TO FOLD

I think I used the “know when to hold and when to fold” title before so I wanted to use it again and I realized it’s a big part of life. There are always crossroads in life and which way do you go? Sometimes I think I always make the wrong choice. I make a choice, I don’t waffle, but sometimes it’s not the brightest choice. Of course I’ve had an interesting life but at this moment in time, here in Bucheon, I really have nothing but 2 kids who are so far away, one of whom doesn’t understand me and sometimes doesn’t recognize me, and another who accepts me as I am, warts and all. I have a mother and sister I miss who think I’m crazy and going through some kid of second childhood. I’m scared that that is all I have. What do I have in Korea? I don’t know. I ask myself that a lot and I don’t have an answer for it.

The previous post on fights really only has a little back story as Scott alludes to. Of course I wrote it during a fight. I gave a great deal of thought to fighting and I just don’t have it in me. Life is too short. If it’s serious, then why fight? Just move on. If it’s silly, it’s not worth the effort. I get angry at times, but it goes quickly. Saeyoon has the temper from hell. This is not going to make her sound good, and it shouldn’t, but she can yell so loud that it’s screeching and you can’t understand what she’s saying. She gets angry about the little things that are usually some sort of misunderstanding or miscommunication, or maybe it’s something stupid I said. But it’s not worth going over the deep end for. On Sunday we had one of these. We were supposed to have dinner with Robert and the timing got confusing so I said I’d cancel Robert and she should forget it. This made her quite angry. I didn’t cancel right away and when I tried to tell her to come and have dinner, she went off the deep end, screamed her lungs out (I don’t know what she said) and hung up. I called Robert and cancelled because the purpose of the dinner was so my two friends could meet.

About an hour later Saeyoon phones and asks if she can come over. I said yes. I assumed she was feeling sorry for her behavior and I’m not going to hold a grudge. I pick her up at the subway and when she finds out we are not having dinner with Robert, she has another fit. She jumps out of the car and storms off. Why would I want my friend Robert to have dinner with some screaming banshee?

Saeyoon likes to hold on to her anger and her hate. It’s really quite terrible. It’s so self-destructive. It’s almost like she wants to fail at a relationship so she can say, “See, I told you I chase everyone away with my bad temper”. I can be patient but I must admit it’s starting to wear a bit thin.

She turned off her phone and wouldn’t talk to me Sunday night. Monday morning she calls to apologize. I was not overly warm and she asked me if she could call me later. I said, “if you want”. She called after work. However, before calling she sat in her office (after classes) having a few drinks. A person who wants to resolve issues doesn’t drink, they meet the other person and communicate. Are these bright red flags being waved in my eyes?

She apologized again and told me she was impossible to live with. She told me that she couldn’t stand herself. It was really quite horrible. I told her to come over and we’d talk but she said no. She said she would call when she got home.

She never called. She turned off her phone. I called the home phone and she hung up. I have no idea what her problem was, but obviously I wasn’t dealing with someone rational. I sent her a message saying that I didn’t deserve to be treated like garbage. If it’s over, say it’s over. I think I make her happy, but that she wants to fail so she can say, “See, I was right. I can’t have a relationship”.

This morning she contacts me on the computer asking if she can come over tonight. I told her that she could and we would talk and at the end of it we are either a couple, or we go our separate ways. I won’t do the roller coaster anymore. She needs to grow up. Everything is a choice and she’s free to make good choices for herself. I can’t save her from doing stupid things. I believe she’s a good person who has some problems (don’t we all) and the good far outweighs the bad. But I need to be at peace in a relationship and if it’s going to be an unstable relationship, then I’d best be alone.

I’ve come to terms with starting the dating game over. I’ve invested almost 5 months in this relationship and there are many wonderful things about it. But if it’s not a firm port in a storm, then it’s no good to me. I do want someone I can count on, and I want someone who can count on me. I know being in Korea that a lot of Western people keep their relationships with Koreans going a little longer than they should out of fear of being alone. I understand that. But I think I’ve conquered that and made the line in the sand. If after all this time it can’t be the relationship it should be, and if she wants to remain immature and afraid, then it’s time for me to move on. I’m sad because I honestly believe it’s something that could work, but I’ve fooled myself before. But like Pharaoh, my heart is hardened and I can play hardball now. (I hope).

I have to do away with the part of me that takes this as a challenge. She says, “I’m too difficult to be with” and I see it as a challenge and want to prove her wrong. That’s dumb of me. She has to move towards being someone who can control her temper and grab on to the good things, instead of someone with a bad temper who looks for the negative. We had a good talk on the weekend and I told her that living at home until her age is very bad for her. She said it was never her intention for this to happen, but it just did. She has fears (as we all do) and I can understand that. I know that once you’re settled it’s sometimes hard to make changes to your life. But you know what? So what. If you want something you do what’s necessary to get it. And if you can’t be bothered to take the proper steps than you deserve the garbage you leave yourself with.

So, who knows? I’ve wimped out too many times. I’ve got all day to convince myself I won’t do it again. If we end all I’ve lost is my perception of great potential. But potential unrealized is just nothing. I’m not the grand prize, but I’m a pretty good person. I shouldn’t sell myself short.

FIGHTS

This is my take on fights between husband and wife, or boyfriend or girlfriend. This is based on a good many years of experience. I used to consider myself a good fighter. I could listen to the other person carefully and pick out the inconsistencies in their stories. And then of course I could point them out, clever lad that I am.

When I was younger there was a certain satisfaction in “winning” a fight. It didn’t matter who started it, or what it was about, winning was everything. However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned a few more things.

Most fights are stupid. They are based on trivial things such as a misunderstanding or taking offence where none is intended. Sometimes they come from one side not having enough information and therefore reading the wrong thing into what the other person does. I really don’t think there are many fights based on serious issues.

It’s natural to have fights. We can’t ignore them. But what we can do is attempt to resolve them as quickly as possible. If the anger goes on, it just festers and gets worse. As for myself, a fight that isn’t resolved inside an hour makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t care if it’s my fault or the other person’s fault. That doesn’t matter because the fight was surely about something unimportant.

You have to communicate with each other. If you stay angry and refuse to communicate, the situation just gets worse. Most fights aren’t just one person’s fault. It’s usually both people contributing to the conflict.

There are no winners and losers in these fights. Either both people win by resolving it, or both people lose by not resolving it. If one person comes at you with an olive branch, you should reach out and take it. Nothing is to be gained by insisting the other person grovel for forgiveness.

If you’re wrong, there is nothing wrong with apologizing. It’s not a sign of weakness to apologize, but rather a sign of strength. You can recognize you did something wrong and attempt to fix it.

There is a problem when the other person won’t listen and chooses to stay angry. I don’t know what you do in that case. When you’re angry you do stupid things and say stupid things. You’re out to hurt the other person, but all you’re hurting is the relationship. You must communicate. Without communication, the relationship has nothing. And that’s communicating during the good times, and communicating during the difficult times.

I really don’t know why people fight. Maybe it’s a test to see how we overcome them. It’s one of the most important tests a relationship has. How you do on the test indicates whether you can have a successful relationship.

I WILL

If you only see one video this year, this is the one to watch. It’s one of my kindergarten classes singing one of my all-time favorite songs. “I Will” by the Beatles is a beautiful and moving song and has always touched me. When their English teacher told me she had taught kindergarten kids this song, I thought she was crazy. A kid’s song? No way.

I was wrong. Every time I see them doing it I want to cry. I don’t know why. The song is beautiful on it’s own but watching and listening to these well-behaved and adorable kids brings me almost to tears. Maybe it’s their innocence combined with the warmth and loveliness of the song. I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s incredible that no matter how many times I hear them do it, I am moved.

The video isn’t the same as being in the class with them, but I hope you can get a bit of the feeling that I get when seeing them. There are six of these kindergarten classes and they all know it. I shot one of the classes today because I just had to have a copy of it.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this is one of the best things I’ve witnessed in Korea. (The quality of the video on YouTube is not a good quality. It’s much better on my computer).



I still have nothing really to complain about. Driving is a pain as I knew it would be. Some of the kids are not fun to teach but some of them are cute and nice. I have 2 middle school girls that I manage to have decent conversations with and I enjoy that. Work is not strenuous but I really don’t like working in the evening. But you can’t have everything.

I was at the Academy today teaching the small class of little kids and I don’t really like it. A class of four of these kids is not as well behaved as a class of 35 kindergarten kids. Today 2 girls (about 7) were fighting and then crying. I just got the Korean teacher to come in and handle it. I won’t do serious discipline.

I was talking with one of the mother’s before class and she asked me how I liked Korea and Korean food. I told her that I like Korea and the people, but I don’t like the food. It was her opinion that if I start to like the food, I’ll stay in Korea longer. I told her that if I’m in love with someone in Korea then I’ll stay longer. She got a laugh out of that.

I’m buying Robert dinner tonight. It’s his birthday (sometime in November) so it’s my treat. He treated me to dinner for my birthday so I’m being nice too. Plus, I do enjoy shooting the breeze with him. When he leaves to go back to Toronto at the end of February, I will miss him. He’s the only native English speaker I’ve become good friends with over here, so it will be a hole in my life. As good as some Koreans speak English, you need someone who’s native tongue is the same as yours to talk to occasionally.

For some reason I’m feeling very positive about Saeyoon and I at the moment. I know that feeling this way has curtailed some of my complaining and I can’t put my finger on what’s changed, if anything. Maybe it’s me growing up a little and not expecting everything to go my way. Maybe she’s changing even more to fit in with me. Maybe it’s both. I like the positive feeling but it makes me nervous. I can’t believe things will go good so I am waiting for something bad to happen. I know that’s stupid and crazy but I’m sure everyone at one time or another just felt that things couldn’t work out for them. It’s almost like you feel you don’t deserve good things.

I just know that I’m through beating myself up about this relationship and just letting it happen and see what will be. There obviously is a lot of good in it or it wouldn’t be going on five months. I know how she makes me feel and I know how I make her feel by what she tells me. And her telling me things is a very un-Korean thing to do. I know I can get her to laugh which is one sure way to win my heart. I love people who think I’m funny.

There is this intangible thing I feel for her. I have no words to describe what goes on inside of me at times. It’s almost like she takes my breath away. It’s not anything special she does, I can get the feeling just sitting in Dunkin Donuts drinking coffee (me) and hot chocolate (her). I tried explaining it to her, but it’s difficult. I also told her that I hate dating because it’s such a hassle. Dating is quite unnatural in many ways. Sometimes you feel you should be going home together but you’re saying goodbye for the night and going your separate ways. I live in an apartment, not a home. I want a home and I want some stability in my life. And I must reconcile that with this craving for small adventures and crazy things (like moving here). I’m 51. Can I keep doing this lifestyle forever? I think things little by little are being revealed to me. I guess I’m slow at times. I do know that I have to stop driving myself crazy and complaining about things. I need to accentuate the positive and either fix or ignore the negative. I’m not an idiot even if at times I behave like one. I think there’s hope for me.

It’s Thanksgiving in the U.S. and I miss turkey. Hell, I even miss going to Stan and Sharon’s and spending time there stuffing my face and falling asleep watching football on television. Leah is going to Tyler to spend Thanksgiving with her in-laws and her mother. At times like this I’m very jealous. Elana is having her annual Christmakkah party next month and I won’t be there. (I’ve never been to one). Her mother will be in Toronto then so she can go. I’m jealous. I know what I would do if I had a million dollars and it wouldn’t be buying a K-car or eating Dijon ketchup.

NO COMPLAINTS TODAY

Bring in the band, I have no complaints today. What’s wrong with me? How can I not have something to complain about? I guess miracles do happen. I actually had a pleasant day today.

I had breakfast (coffee and a bagel) at Starbucks and then went grocery shopping. Saeyoon came over this morning for a cup of tea and to steal some more food from me. It was quite nice to have a morning visit and it’s the reason I moved close to her. So, maybe it will work. I drove her to work (she starts at one) and then went to drive myself to my only class today. However, I got lost and missed it. Oops. I felt like an idiot (which I was). I knew how to get there from my place, but I was trying something new driving from Saeyoon’s work, and I failed. I think I need to scout out new routes instead of trying them blindly.

So I just wasted away the afternoon and then I went and met Saeyoon at her work place this evening. She then showed me the way I should have gone this afternoon so I am prepared. I must say it was quite nice to see her in the morning and evening. It’s nice to feel positive for a change instead of sweating the small stuff.

I really don’t have much to say. Take away complaints and I’m an empty shell. I sure hope tomorrow is a miserable day so I can write something.

DON’T YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS?

“Don’t you have any friends”? – What was said to me as I asked for a table for 1 at a café in Taipei, Taiwan. It was meant as “isn’t there anyone with you” but I love the line. I answered “no”, of course.

I awoke early Saturday morning and drove to the airport without incident. It was just easier for me to go to the airport and park than to worry about a taxi and a bus. The flight to Taipei is 2 ½ hours and it went by quickly. I think I slept most of the way. I know I was asleep before the plane got in the air. Taxing puts me to sleep when the plane takes off.

I arrived at Taipei and went to the area where you can get a hotel in the airport. They asked me if I wanted a 5-star or a 3-star. I laughed and said 3-star. They show me a book with the pictures of the hotel (which once again proves that pictures lie) and they told me it was in the city center. Maybe it was in the center, but it wasn’t a 3-star. However, it was clean. And it cost $75 a night but I wasn’t in a shopping mood. The airport is 40 minutes away by car from the city center so I took a cab ride. That was a deal at $40. I was not thrilled but I reserved the guy for leaving this morning to get me back to the airport. I didn’t know anything at that time but I am a little wiser now.

It was about 80 degrees and humid in Taipei. I changed into shorts and decided to wander around. I asked at the desk for suggestions of places to go and got a few. I also booked the “cultural” tour for Sunday morning. I walked to the subway and bought a one day pass for $6. I got my money’s worth out of that.

I did a lot of walking this weekend. Walk, walk, walk. I hear it’s healthy but I like driving. My first visit was to the Chang Kai-shek Memorial. The memorial was commissioned in 1975 after Chang Kai-shek’s death and was opened in 1980 on the 5th anniversary of his death. It reminded me of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington except Mr. Kai-shek was no Lincoln. There was writing carved into the wall behind him and it might have been stirring words, but it was all Chinese to me.

Here are two views of the memorial.



(In case you’re wondering, I took my camera that I couldn’t find the docking station for and took pictures. Tonight when I came home from work, I noticed it sitting on a bookcase in the hall outside my apartment. Don’t ask.)

Fortunately for me, I was not looking too slovenly, so I could get in for a closer look.


And here is the man himself in all his memorialized glory.


They have 2 guards stationed inside “guarding” old Chang and it’s a fine job they do. And they take their job most seriously as you can see.


It was strange for me at the memorial. The grounds were beautiful as the National Theatre and National Concert Hall are also there. I was thinking about Barbara while there and missing her. She was a fine traveling companion, always game to go see anything and never complaining about my go, go, go vacation ways. We had a great time in Mainland China a few years ago so it just seemed kind of wrong she wasn’t there for the other China.

Of course, this led me to thinking too much about how much better it is to be with someone when viewing new sights. I always felt that way when I traveled for work and went sight-seeing by myself. It’s just so much better to share new experiences.

I kept hearing “I hate my life” in my head. That is not a nice thing to have playing in an endless loop in your head. Luckily it only lasted about a half hour and then it was gone. Do I hate my life? At times, and more times than I would like.

After communing with Chang, it was back on the subway for me as I went in search of the National History museum. To get to the museum you must walk thru the botanical gardens. I was not impressed. I did manage to seem some lotus blossoms that had seen better days.


The museum was a HUGE disappointment. I thought I’d learn about Taiwan but no luck. They had carvings, they had stamps (the kind you make a mark with) but no history. It was a waste of a dollar.

From there it was off to find the Eslite Bookstore, Taiwan’s only 24-hour bookstore. I had to see this. It was a nice bookstore with lots of books but I managed to escape without buying any. I visited the café for a coffee and a Panini. That is where the waitress who seated me said, “Don’t you have any friends”? I thought it was a funny and most appropriate line as I wandered around a new city by myself.

I didn’t think Taipei was pretty. I did see some nice things there but on the ride from the airport I saw many buildings in a block shape that reminded me of the buildings built by Communists. Considering that this was never a Communist country, I thought it strange.

I went back to the hotel caked in sweat and had a shower and changed before resuming my travels. Taipei has many night markets so I went to one of them that was in what they used to call “Snake Alley”. That’s because of the many animal things that went on but they’ve cleaned it up since then. I did see a huge snake that was being used in some sort of routine in one of the restaurants, but I’m not sure what they were using it for. Since there was a rabbit beside it in it’s own cage, I could make an educated guess.

Foot massages are very popular in Taiwan. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of foot massage places and they’re all busy. It was unbelievable to see so many, and all doing a good business.

I didn’t take pictures at the night market because to capture it properly you would need to reproduce the smell. All these scary looking foods on the street and a smell to kill with. Sometimes I would be sure to hold my breath while passing certain vendors as I feared the smell would knock me over dead.

I found the night markets in Hong Kong much better with more of a variety of crap. I did buy a $3 watch since my $3 watch I bought in Hong Kong no longer works.

I then took off for another destination looking for maybe a bar or a safe place to eat. I’m not an adventurous eater so I wanted something that seemed “American”. As I was on the subway I thought it strange that I’d been around quite a bit already and hadn’t seen any chain food places. I hadn’t seen a McDonald’s and I hadn’t seen a Starbucks. Naturally as soon as I come up from the subway, what do I see but a Starbucks. And around the corner from that? A McDonald’s, that’s what.

This area where I didn’t find a bar or a restaurant had tons of bridal shops and they were all quite busy on a Saturday night. Every second store was a bridal shop. I guess weddings are big business in Taipei.

I headed back to my hotel but I made a wrong turn walking back from the subway. But it was good luck for me because I was starving (it was about 10PM). I ran into a Subway so I had to have a Taiwan subway sandwich. I’ve had Subway in Canada, the U.S., Ireland, China, and I think even Israel. Yes, Mr. Adventures in Eating is what I am.

As I got close to my hotel a man who looked old enough to be my grandfather stopped me on the street and asked me if I wanted a “young girl”. Boy, was I shocked. Did I look like I wanted a young girl? I asked how much and he said (I’m converted money here) $120. I was so taken aback I didn’t ask any other questions. It seems old men sitting on motor scooters are pimps. I’ve led a sheltered life. And oh yes, I did turn him down.

I was up bright and early Sunday morning for my bus tour. I had breakfast at the hotel (it’s included) and it was pretty foul. Eggs and toast and salad and not too appetizing. However, I had to eat before my tour. The driver/guide picks me up and I’m the only one. He had one other booking but the man who booked was so hung-over he rescheduled. So it was a private “cultural tour” for me.

The guide bonded with me and thought we were brothers because we’re the same age and both divorced. According to him the only difference between us is that he pays alimony and I don’t.

We first visited an old street with kinds of food shops that look pretty unappealing to me and smelly. One of the shops sells quite expensive foods like Shark Fins and Fish Lips. I can’t remember the prices but they were astronomical.

We then went to see an old residence of a rich person from over 100 years ago. It used to be in a different location in the city but it was in the way of a new building that was to be built. So, they dismantled it brick by brick at it’s old location, and then reassembled it at the new location. The house itself was no big deal.

We went to 2 temples. The first was a Confucian Temple. I like Temple’s. They’re nice. Here’s a picture of this one.


After that we went to a Pao-an Temple. Here’s a picture of this one.


Now, how do we know it’s a Pao-an Temple? Because they have dragon’s on the roof. If it’s a Buddhist Temple there are no dragons. The guide explained to me how you ask God questions. It had something to do with picking a stick, rolling some blocks and getting a piece of paper from a board that matched the combination of stick number and block roll. It was interesting. But by far, the most interesting thing I learned was that if you want to give money to God, and it seems he needs it, you put it in a fiery oven and burn it. I’m not joking. The smoke from the money goes up the chimney to God in heaven. So there really are people in this world with money to burn.

Here’s a picture of the money oven.


Then it was off to view a tea ceremony. I saw how they brewed and served tea. I was shown and tasted 3 qualities of Oolong Tea. Oolong Tea only comes from China and this Tea from Taiwan is supposedly the best of it. The really good stuff is for domestic use only and is not exported. Even an inexperienced tea drinker such as myself can tell the difference between the types.

The low quality grows at the bottom of a mountain and yields 7 harvests a year. The medium grade is grown mid-mountain and yields 2 harvests a year. The real top quality stuff is grown at the top of the mountain and is harvested only once a year. The top stuff costs about $100 for 500 grams.

This tea is supposedly good for your heart and your health and so on and so forth. I bought the top grade stuff (300 grams) and two special mugs to brew it in. I got two because there may be times when I’m not drinking alone. It should last me a year and set me back about $80. So that was my foolish Taiwan purchase. During all this I was thinking of my dad as he liked to have a cup of tea every evening. I would love to have shared this tea with him. I miss him so much.

After this came a foot massage. First you wash your feet and the foot masseuse tortures you. There are many pressure points in the soles of your feet and supposedly they are connected to the different parts of your body. Every part is covered from head to toe including penis, vagina (take your pick), and the planet Uranus (or in this case, the planet Myanus).

All I know is I was almost screaming at parts of it and the people were laughing at me. I only felt it in my feet and not in the “connected” areas of my body. While I was there they tried to sell me my choice of various herbal medicines. They can prevent cancer, heart disease, diabetes, mental illness, Alzheimer’s, and even erectile dysfunction. This stuff is not cheap so I managed to say “no”, but the one for “mental unsettlement” and “prevention of cranial nervous breakdown” was most tempting.

Here is the foot masseuse or as I like to think of her, woman torture mistress.


Here she is in action.


And here am I enjoying it all.


That’s not a fake scream. I was set up. They offered to take my picture and I said yes. Then they timed it so the torture lady did her black magic and they snapped at that point.

After that was a small Kung Fu demo that was going to lead to a sales pitch for something or other, but we left before the sales pitch. The first guy drove a spike into a thick block of wood with his hand. It was quite something to see. He showed me the huge welt on his hand afterward. It looked like it hurt but he wasn’t shedding any tears.

The next guy (neither of whom looked anything like David Carradine) took a soft candy (like a caramel) and shaped it into a nail. I touched it and it was soft. He then, with just one blow of his fist drove it through a thick piece of sugar cane. I examined the sugar cane before and it was thick and hard. After he hit the soft candy, the cane was split with one part of the candy protruding from the other side of the cane. I have no idea how he did it, but it must have been a trick. They insist it’s all in the state of mind. What do I know?

After the tour I went to the National Palace Museum and it really was a beautiful museum.


But I’ve been to so many museums around the world and I can’t look at any more porcelain, bronze, jade, or whatever. I just don’t have an eye for it or appreciate it.

After that I went to the river where I heard there was a market. There were tons of people there and one of these.


There were people, people, people, the smell from the food vendor’s and river was ripe, and I enjoyed just walking around looking at people. Here are a few shots from there.
















This scene took me back to when I was small and my kids were small. I guess some children’s adventures are universal.


Is it the air quality, or is she just too hideous to look at?


Don’t ask, but I couldn’t resist a picture.


I then visited a huge night market that I couldn’t take for very long. Crap, crap, crap, and smelly food. Here are some of the taste treats being offered.




I then went back to the hotel for a shower and to change. I was accosted by one of the grandfather pimps offering me a “young girl”. Are there no pretty girls? Beautiful women? Do only “young girls” sell in Taiwan? I managed to keep my wits for 2 questions this time. One was how long do you purchase the pleasures for and I was offered a rate for an hour of $150. I turned it down but he was willing to negotiate. However, I wasn’t negotiating.

After freshening up I went to dinner at a hotel (a nice one) for a burger and fries. It was good and enjoyable. After that it was off to the movies for the 5th time in over 9 months. This time it was “Casino Royale”, the new James Bond movie. I’m not a 007 fan, and I haven’t been to see a Bond movie in about 25 years but I read good reviews of this one, and I wasn’t in the mood for walking anymore. I really enjoyed it. It was quite good. The actor playing Bond this time is not a Sean Connery wannabe and made the part his own. It was action packed, witty, nostalgic, and just plain fun. I recommend it quite highly.

It was then back to the hotel and to bed in preparation for my 6AM wake up. I booked a different taxi with someone who drove me to the palace museum because he was about $10 cheaper. He didn’t show up but I still found someone for the better price. I had cherry cheesecake and a coffee at the Starbucks at the airport and it was quite tasty. I slept most of the way back to Korea. I got in my car, came home, and then went out to work. Being with the small kids at the academy on Monday’s and Thursday’s reminds me of why I hated the job in Gwangyang.

And I’ll leave you with a picture I’ve been waiting to get off my camera so I could post it. It could be the grossest picture ever. It’s from the night Saeyoon came over to help me clean. I had to feed her as usual (she loves the food I have) and after she had nachos and salsa, she wanted this taste treat. Yes, it really is nachos with peanut butter on them, and yes, she did really like it.

OFF TO TAIPEI

I was going to post tonight but I've run out of time. I have to be up in 5 hours to catch my plane to Taipei. I have no hotel booked so I'm sweating a little. However, it's 80 degrees there so I'll be sweating more.

I come back Monday morning for another exciting week of work. My highlight yesterday was I found a Subway sandwich shop on my way home from work. Yippee! It will give me a change of pace to have one of those babies once a week. Is my life pathetic, or what?

My life sucks. Maybe Taiwan will refresh it. I know nothing about Taiwan and I expect I won't know much when I return. I will probably buy some things made in Taiwan so that should be exciting to buy quality at the source.

I'll write Monday.

COULD I BE RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO WRITE?

I really don’t feel like writing. I feel like I have nothing new to add. I can complain about loneliness but that’s getting old. What is of interest to me is that as the colder weather comes, I get lonelier. Is there a relationship between the two?

Work is work. It’s a job. I think I prefer a class to tutoring but there are no daytime only classes to teach with 20 kids or less. Only a week on the new job and it’s just a job. How depressing.

Is there such a thing as “oneness”? Can you really be a single entity with another person? I don’t mean all the time. You should be able to be your own person at times and part of this “oneness” at other times. Is this possible? Please let me know.

Tonight I ran into someone I know at the supermarket. How weird. She’s the lady who runs the academy and I teach English to on Mondays and Thursdays. She was quite surprised to see me. She asked what I was doing there. It’s a supermarket, doh! She’s nice and she’s cute but sometimes the questions I’m asked can drive me batty.

I went out for coffee with Saeyoon last night. There’s nothing special in that except it was a nice change to have a short trip to do that. The actual time in a moving vehicle was very short and the total door to door time was about 45 minutes. It takes less than 5 minutes to drive to the subway station but at night it’s a 20 minute drive. Traffic, traffic, traffic. I must be nuts to want to live here.

I tutored 2 kids from 5:15 to 6:15. After that I was supposed to tutor the older sister and her friend. They were 30 minutes late so I had to kill time. A little girl of about 2 was throwing pencils at me. Boy, did that thrill me. I’m sitting in this room feeling miserable, lonely, sorry for myself, and wondering WTF I’m doing. The mother had some nice tangerines out to eat so it wasn’t all bad.

The two kids I tutored at 1:30 are 8 and pretty good at English. Nice kids too. The mother cut up pineapple and served it. The girl goes to take some and I told her to wait until she was finished reading her passage out loud. And her mother told her that. So she cried and continued reading thru the tears.

I lost the docking station/charger for my digital video/still camera. I don’t know what became of it but I still have the camera. However, without the docking station I can’t take pictures off the camera and I can’t charge the camera. What a bozo! I called California this morning and they’re doing “research” to see if I can get the parts.

I’m reading my first Stephen King novel in years. I used to really like to read him and then he got old. I’m reading “Cell” about how everyone on a cell phone at a particular time turns into a zombie of some kind. It’s not too bad. I like end of the world stories. Obviously Mr. King isn’t too fond of cell phones. They can be a disease. They are here. Having coffee last night the cell phone of a man at the next table rang. It was incredibly loud. Saeyoon tells me that she is embarrassed about Koreans who let their phones ring too loud. I replied that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. I had to explain the meaning (not easy). The reason I told her that is that she will answer text messages and sometimes talk on the phone when we’re out together. I think if you separated a Korean and their cell phone, they’d implode.

It looks like I’m going to Taipei this weekend. I have to leave the country for visa reasons and Kyle will only pay the lowest airfare. I can contribute if I want to go somewhere nicer but to pay big bucks for a weekend alone isn’t really what I want to do. So I had a choice of Fukuoka (Japan) and Taipei, Taiwan. I’ve been to Fukuoka so it’s Taipei for me. I have no idea what there is to do there but I suppose I should find out. I don’t even feel like going away. Lethargy is a sign of depression.

I’m thinking I have to get my act together. Part of me wants to tell Kyle to forget it, I’m not cut out for this. I have no idea about a future together for Saeyoon and I. I’m floating a bit now. The adventure is dying and I’m just living a somewhat boring and pointless life. I could do that anywhere. However, knowing you need to get your act together, and actually getting it together are two different things.

My mind is busy working overtime. I wish it would go on strike.

OF ELEVATORS, PARKING GARAGES, AND LONELINESS

What do these 3 things have in common? Nothing, but I wanted to write about them anyhow. Where do all the stupid elevators go? Korea. They keep the smart elevators in North America but those that fail the test go to Korea.

Here’s the problem. In my new building there are 4 elevators. (Everything I write here is basically the same in every building). Two of the elevators go underground to the parking garage as well as all the floors. The other two just go to the first floor. Why don’t they all hit all the floors? Beats me.

In North America when you want an elevator you push the up or down button on the wall and the system figures which elevator to send to you. You just press the one button even if there are 10 elevators. You don’t have to go and push the button beside each elevator. However, in Korea you push the button for only the elevator you want. The others don’t move. If you want to see which of the four elevators get to you first in my building, then you press the button beside each of the four elevators. This is dumb. Therefore the elevators are dumb.

These are real elevators made by companies like Otis. I don’t understand why they work like this. Perhaps it’s part of the continuing Korean plot to destroy my mind. Well, I’ve got news for you, it’s working.

I park underground now. Each floor has about 12 to 15 parking spots and if you don’t find one, you go down another level. Now just because there are 12 to 15 parking spots that means there will be 2 or 3 more cars parked where they shouldn’t be parked because these people are too damn lazy to go down another floor. They park against the wall making it very difficult for you to get out of your spot. Or they park on the ramp cutting off part of it. It’s just so rude. But that’s Korea.

My other problem is I seem to forget what floor I park on. Yesterday I was sure I had left my car on floor B2. I took the elevator to B2 but I didn’t see my car. Okay, no problem, it’s on B1. Nope. It’s not there either. So it must be B4 because I’ve never parked on B3. But it’s not on B4. WTF! So I go back to the original B2 and look more closely. Guess what? It was there. Assigned parking spots would be nice for the more forgetful among us. They probably had assigned parking spots but did away with them when I moved in. Am I paranoid? The sounds coming through the wall insist I’m not.

Teaching cute little kids is nice in the way that they’re cute. But it’s not stimulating. I try and have some fun with the kids but an intelligent conversation would be nice. Kyle is still driving me and I’m not looking forward to driving myself. Taking this job was a big gamble in that I’ll be doing major driving. I think if I taught a subject other than English as a second language to only students who were motivated that I’d be a good teacher.

Sometimes the loneliness is almost overwhelming. I come to my apartment and it’s not my home. It’s where I hang out but it has no relation to a home. I can be stopped dead in my tracks at any time during the day and just be so totally aware of being alone. I know I mention this a lot, but the fact is that it’s on my mind a lot. I would say it’s unbearable but of course it isn’t, because I’m baring it.

I broke up with Saeyoon on Saturday afternoon. This time it lasted about 45 minutes. We used to joke at home the time that Elana broke up by email with a boy she went out with a few times. We thought it was cowardice and funny. I broke up by SMS (text message on the phone). This just proves I can be as childish as anyone. Part of the problem is that I can’t handle my frustration about some things so I say and do stupid things. Some people handle adversity better than others, and some people handle certain kinds of adversity better than other kinds. The loneliness makes me so touchy. I’m overly sensitive. Sometimes it’s a good thing because it’s nice to feel things and can help you relate better to others. Of course, at times I’m an insensitive S.O.B. But the downside of being sensitive is that my feelings are easily hurt.

I apologized and un-broke up. Saeyoon thinks I’d forget her a lot quicker than she’d forget me. I don’t know if that’s true but it really doesn’t matter. It’s not a contest. When there is a break up then both parties lose something. It might be different things they lose, but they both lose.

We spent most of the day together yesterday and it was quite nice. I explained a couple of things to her about me and how I am. We both agree that we need to try a little harder to understand the other person. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s really incredible how far both of us have moved in the direction of the other person. There is definitely something about her that touches something deep inside of me. I can’t define the feeling I get but sometimes it’s quite overpowering. It’s a nice thing but the downside of it is that it makes me lonelier to be in the apartment by myself. I’m not saying that I’m ready to marry her because I’m not. She doesn’t know whether she ever wants to get married but I think that’s just fear of the unknown and 37 years of living with her mother. The only thing I know is that we care for each other, see good in each other, and are aware of the potential for a future. I think that being aware of being close to someone and then only seeing them part time (it is only dating) just makes the time alone much harder.

So life goes on. I’m not really working full time yet as the schedule is still being developed. Things should be more settled within 2 weeks. This morning I had my breakfast at Dunkin Donuts. I needed a break from the previous 3 mornings when I had breakfast at Starbucks. You can buy lousy bagels at bakeries but I wonder how a real Jewish bagel place would do here. Perhaps I should open a bagel place. It could be an English Academy/Bagel Bakery. I could get the students to make the bagels but they could only speak English while making bagels. So I get paid for the English lessons, I get paid for the bagels, and the labor is free. This is something worth giving some serious thought to. It’s all right ma, I’m only bleeding.

HERE I AM

It’s Thursday night here in Bucheon and I’m sitting in my apartment typing this out. Bucheon is part of Incheon which is very close to Seoul and on the subway line. How do I feel? Not too good at the moment. I may have made a mistake. It won’t be the first time and it won’t be the last time. I am feeling alone too much these days and it seems to be getting worse and worse. I don’t know how to fix it though because if I could, I would.

I left Paju and my beautiful apartment on Sunday afternoon. The administrator and Min Kyung came to check that I hadn’t destroyed the apartment and waited there until Kyle (new boss) came to help me. So, I had them sitting and watching me for over an hour. It was not comfortable.

I left my bicycle chained up outside and told Min Kyung. She said she wanted a bicycle but they were too expensive. I offered to see her mine. She thought I was giving it to her as a gift. Fat chance. So it’s appropriate that I left her being annoyed with her again.

Kyle came and off we went. We got to the new apartment that was supposed to be a brand new building and a 2 bedroom apartment. It wasn’t quite as advertised. The building was 3 years old but looked about 30 years old. The building was dirty and they hadn’t cleaned the apartment yet so it looked like a derelict apartment. Kyle complained and they said they would send cleaners over right away. I was assured it would look much better when they were done. However, I just didn’t like it. It would get no sunlight. The bedroom would be against the hall wall so I couldn’t sleep with the windows open. I didn’t like the building. I was not happy.

It seems Kyle had never looked at the apartment himself. He went through a real estate agent and when he asked to see it, they told him to look on the Internet and he could see pictures. Needless to say it looked beautiful on the Internet. His girlfriend and her mother were at the apartment with us, and they were annoyed with Kyle for not looking at it. I probably should have looked at it too before moving. I just wouldn’t be happy there.

Kyle said we didn’t have to keep it but the real estate agent only had studio apartments to show in the right price range. If I was to move further out I might be able to find something to my liking. However, it’s Sunday night and I’m homeless. Kyle suggests I come and look at his place to see if I like it. It’s a studio but it has an upstairs where you can have the bed.

Saeyoon and I went to Kyle’s and I’ll admit at first look, it was quite appealing. Having the bed upstairs gave it more room. The bathroom had a shower stall and not just a hose on the wall. I said it was nice and he said I could have it if I wanted it. I didn’t want to take his apartment away from him, but he said he wanted to move closer to his girlfriend. And he never slept upstairs because he didn’t like to. He told me I’d be doing him a favor by taking over the lease.

I said I would sleep on it (I was going to a hotel) and Saeyoon and I went out to discuss it. I thought he was just being nice but Saeyoon told me that his girlfriend had told her earlier that Kyle wanted to move. So I would be doing him a favor by taking over his lease. I was also told by both Kyle and Saeyoon that it’s very difficult to find a nice apartment with bedrooms to rent. The nice one’s are owned by people who live in them, and I’m in the big city now and not the sticks like in Paju. Saeyoon suggested I take it because it’s as good as I’m going to get. I’m not thrilled with a studio but it does seem livable. I call Kyle and tell him I’ll take it. He’s happy and says he’ll move the next day. He’ll go live at his parents or something until he finds a place.

I ended up spending three nights in the hotel and moved in yesterday. You just can’t stop time and move out. He has his job and he’s quite busy. Now that I’m in here I see the real annoying things. It’s small. There is no kitchen to speak of. I miss my oven. I have no balcony to hang my laundry on. I’m picky. Everyone knows that.

Kyle has left a lot of his things here until he moves which will be next Wednesday so it’s kind of messy. I’ve almost totally unpacked and found spots for most things. It has built-in closets so that helps. Saeyoon came over tonight to help me clean up. I gave her the worst job (the bathroom) and she did a good job which I appreciate. I hate having no kitchen. I’m really hating living alone. Living alone is good when it’s a choice. I think I’m emotionally ready for something more committed. (I think I’ve said these things before but they’re on my mind a lot).

I’m bothered by the lack of affection. She says it’s a cultural thing but I’m not agreeing. I see Korean’s who are affectionate to each other. To Saeyoon her being with me means affection but to me it’s things like taking the initiative in a kiss, a hug, a hand-hold and all that. She says I’m too sensitive and I’m not arguing with that. But these things are important to me and there are certain things that I would be foolish to accept less than what I want. It’s difficult to explain but sometimes I feel that she’s uncomfortable around me. It could be imagination but it may not be. The fact is I feel that way so it’s real. I get these ‘vibes’ and I told her that. Unfortunately “vibes” wasn’t in my English-Korean dictionary. It’s a hard thing to explain. When I start thinking like this it’s bad for me. I start questioning everything.

So, how’s the job? I haven’t done much teaching yet. I’ve met some kids on home visits and I’ve done some classes. I’ve been to a kindergarten twice and I really like these kids. There are 6 classes and the kids are well-behaved. They have a Korean English teacher four times a week and she’s taught them the Beatles song, “I Will”. It was so cute to see and listen to them do the song. They sing it quite well and they do movement. It is really priceless.

This kindergarten has uniforms for the kids and their regular teacher is in the classroom with me. But they listen to me unlike my previous experiences. Each class is 20 minutes which is a good amount of time for this age group. The other day one boy threw up all over himself and the kid in front of him. I just went on teaching and trying to ignore it while they cleaned him up.

Some of the kids I have are really bad at English and it will be a challenge. But, at least I don’t have discipline problems. The oldest students I have are about 14. Because I want the early times I get young kids. I don’t mind it if they listen. I was with kindergarten aged kids at an academy today and it was fine. I’m not having stimulating conversation but I’m smiling a lot. Some of these kids are just so cute. After class today one boy made like he wanted to give me a hug and a kiss. (That’s called affection). As I bent down to him he backed off once my beard got closer. It was funny how it scared him off.

The driving won’t be fun. There is a lot of traffic to deal with and I haven’t done that for a while. I have to learn my way around and it’s going to take some time. For now, Kyle takes me everywhere. He’s a nice person and seems to be very considerate. He didn’t have to cancel the apartment but he did. Unlike like every other Korean I’ve met, he calls if he’s going to be late longer than 5 minutes. I appreciate the consideration. He did lie to all the mother’s though. He told them all that I was a teacher in Canada and that I worked at a middle school here for a year. He told me this after the fact so I have to back him up if questioned. That I don’t like, but no one is perfect.

He’s buying my car and then I’ll use it for work. The job comes with a car and my car is bigger than the ones he buys. So I’m pleased with that as it covers my plane ticket to Toronto in February.

Will the job work out? I don’t know. It’s going to take some time to see how I handle the driving. I will give it a fair shot. If I can’t handle the job then I think it’s time to leave Korea. If I felt deep down that there was a future for Saeyoon and I, then I wouldn’t consider leaving Korea any time soon and alone. I honestly believe it could work but I just don’t have the faith that it’s going to happen. That saddens me.

It’s always about the woman, isn’t it? Or the man if you’re a woman. It’s always seems to come down to relationships. Whatever happens, it’s been an experience that I’ve gotten things out of. I may not show a smiling face, but there has been plenty that I’ve smiled about. But when you’re not sure what you want out of life, it’s difficult to find peace. I’m just not going to figure the whole thing out. But a good bagel would work well for me right now.

WHAT IS LOVE?

(This is my 2nd post of today if you want to look under this one if you haven’t seen that one.)

What is love? Who knows? Not me. However, I think I was filled with it today. I can’t believe how hard it was for me to leave school today. It’s over. No more idiot principal and vice-principal. No more annoying Min Kyung. No more being a policeman. No more morning broadcast. I keep reminding myself of these things.

I made it out of school today with only a bit of wet eyes. It was touch and go for a bit. I’m basically an emotional person but my meds keep me from breaking down and sometimes that’s good. There was no party and that’s a good thing. I showed some class when I left. I went and said goodbye to the head teacher. She doesn’t speak any English so I have no idea what she said to me, but she was smiling when she said it. I then sought out the vice-principal to shake his hand. So we smiled and shook hands and I felt like I did the right thing. I then went to the principal’s office and shook his hand. He smiled and said some things that were in Korean but he did say “bye” in English. I spent a little longer earlier in the day saying goodbye to the computer teacher because he’s a kind man who has been very nice to me. I then went and said goodbye to Min Kyung and wish her the best.

I went to the office this morning to see what they were doing about canceling my visa. The administrator had me wait until Min Kyung was finished her class so she could translate. She comes to the office and tells me that I go to immigration and cancel it myself. I know that’s not true from my Kelly experience. I have no idea why these people who don’t know what they’re talking about insist they know. The administrator calls immigration (finally) and finds out that he has to do it and he can do it over the Internet. Sometimes it’s good that I’m a nag. Min Kyung is being very cold to me and that’s fine. Let’s face it; we don’t have a solid love relationship.

I had no classes this morning so I just read and played on the computer. It was quiet but I knew I had 3 classes this afternoon and I wondered how they would go. I wasn’t going to teach anything and we just can’t have a conversation. So I used the old standby “hangman” because the kids like it. I hate it. After I did a few I let the kids take turns making up the words while I wandered around taking pictures. At the end of class I wished all the kids “good luck” and some of the kids came to give me a hug and tell me they love me and how sad they are that I’m leaving. Some of them wrote and drew pictures for me and gave me their work. It was so sweet.

Here are some of them:





The boy who went to school in Toronto last year and who brought me lunch gave me a gift. I was shocked. It was some chocolates and he’s such a nice young man. I did say to him (and some of the other kids who understand a bit) that I’m not worried about them because they’ll do just fine in life. This boy (Tae Young Rok) told me that I would succeed in whatever I would do. This is a 13 year old boy who is older than his years. I am honored to have met some of these people.

Here is a picture of him:


Here he is again in the broadcast control room:


And these are the girls who are in the “classroom” for the broadcast:


I only had 2 of the 3 classes as for some reason Min Kyung went to the 3rd class and just started teaching. That was fine with me. I went downstairs and asked if I could go in and take a class picture and she said yes. Then she offered to take one of me with the class. She had been very cold to me all day but it was nice of her.

Here is me with the class:


These are some 3rd year girls. The one on the left asked me to only take the picture from the waist up because she had her gym pants on. So she’s also crouching to make sure you can’t see the pants. She’s very cute, very nice, and speaks English pretty well.


Here is a short video of Min Kyung taking the picture. You can hear Korean being spoken.


One of the boys (3rd year student who spent a couple of years in Australia) asked me if I was going to be home tomorrow because he had a gift for me. I was touched by that and I remember that he came and introduced himself to me on my first day there. He asked my phone number so he could call and then come over and I gave it to him. Some kids asked for my phone number and I gave them my cell number. I can’t imagine that any of them will call. Some asked for my email and I hope they use it. It will be good practice for them and it will be nice for me.

As I walked through the halls some of the kids would ask me if I was really leaving. I told them yes and that I’d miss them. They’d tell me that they’d miss me and they love me. You know, I know it sort of sounds silly but I really take this to heart. I can’t express the feeling I have to receive their warmth and affection. It makes me feel special and like just maybe I touched them. I like to think it’s more than me just being a white foreigner but because of how I am with them. I believe they could tell that I sincerely liked and cared about them.

When I went back upstairs to get my bag to leave there was a gift on my desk. It was from Min Kyung. I was shocked. Life isn’t black and white and I know that, but it would be so much easier if it was. She left a little note with it and this is what it said:
“Dear Martin,
To begin with, I’m sorry not to have dinner together yesterday. I really want to say goodbye to you with good feeling. But sometimes you are hard person for me to understand. So I don’t know what to say in front of you now. This is my farewell present for you. Anyway, good luck.
Min Kyung”

I don’t know what to say. This is Min Kyung.


This is her gift to me. I think it’s a handkerchief. It’s from the Omar Sharif collection and all that’s important about it is the thought.


It was appropriate for me that at the end of my day there were several students being punished. What was their crime? Some girls had their hair not straight. You must have straight hair in school. This is a rule of many schools but it is at the principal’s discretion. No jewelry allowed either.

So I’m done at Duil Middle School. I wish it would have worked out better. I can’t handle 40 kids of different levels in a class. That’s reality. I will always regret that I didn’t succeed at the job. I know I could have done better, but I don’t think I could have done enough.

Here are some pictures I took today. These are some kids waiting to go in for lunch.




See all the kids with their hands up? They are being punished for something but I don’t know what. This is at lunch time.


This is the line to get your food.


Here is the food being dished out. The mask is either so they don’t breath on the food, or it’s to keep the smell out of your nose.


The teacher’s have to serve themselves their delightful meals.


Here they are sitting and enjoying lunch.



And now just some class shots.










I went to meet Manki for dinner tonight at a Korean restaurant near my home. When I was walking to the restaurant I saw a bunch of kids from my school. I had just said goodbye. But we had more goodbyes and more hugs. I rarely see kids outside of school and then today, of course, I see them. Dinner with Manki was nice. He’s very busy at his new school and he said he liked Duil Middle School better. That’s sad. He’s getting married next year. I asked him when and he said, “Maybe February, Maybe March, Maybe April”. I asked him why he couldn’t give me a straight answer and it seems that his parents and her parents have to consult with someone to see when the best date (like astrology) for the wedding would be. Some weird Korean thing but interesting to learn. We will see each other again. I suggested that his girlfriend and he go out for dinner one night with Saeyoon and I. He thought that was a good idea. I met his girlfriend briefly in the summer and she seemed very nice. She’s 36 and lives at home. Aaaaaaaaaah! It’s crazy.

When we were leaving the restaurant I saw a lot more of my kids. There is an academy in the same building as the restaurant so kids were going to school at 7PM. So I had more goodbyes and more hugs. It’s just so funny. I then went into a new gelato place and had a delicious lemon gelato. Figures. I’m moving and they get good ice cream that isn’t Baskin-Robbins.

So I move this weekend and start my new job on Monday. In many ways this has been an amazing eye-opening experience. I do like human contact. I like kids. I can communicate without speaking the language (to a certain degree). In many, many ways despite all my complaining I’ve been very lucky to have come in contact with these young men and women.